Personal Log: Sedai, Katriel

Katriel was not at all prepared for the surprise waiting for her when she arrived on Casperia Prime that morning.

“Here you are finally, owl-bird,” the familiar, mockingly exasperated tenor halted Katriel in her tracks as she disembarked from the civ transport. “Starting to think I had the wrong planet.”

“Brian!” A few quick paces was all that was necessary to bring the siblings close enough for a bone-cracking hug. “What are you DOING here?” Katriel’s voice was both deliriously cheerful and demanding at once.

Brian grinned as he released his sister, but rather than relinquish her entirely, he promptly tugged her in the direction of the nearby replimat. "The Sirocco’s in orbit. We’re on leave for a couple weeks, before we start our new project in… " and here he paused for dramatic effect. “… the Kormino system.”

A second or two ticked by as Brian waited for Katriel to digest that information. “… But that’s only an hour away from here.”

“That it is! Hope you’re not too horrified at the idea that I’ll be able to check up on you almost whenever I want, again,” Brian teased her. “At least, whenever you’re here.”

Katriel was still gaping at the very thought, but she quickly lost the dazed expression and smiled. “No, of course not!”

“Good, good. Sit, I’ll get us tea,” Brian offered as he deposited her into a seat and whisked away to the nearest replicator.

Katriel sat waiting, bemused and overwhelmed all at once. Certainly they had just spoken last week, but today marked the end of the longest interval they’d gone without visiting. With Katriel’s posting to Outpost Argo as the starbase was in its infancy, she had been unable to leave during the holiday period and the Sirocco’s projects and research never took it anywhere near the front lines.

“Mint’s still your favorite?” A mug hovered in front of her suddenly and she shook herself out of her reverie, accepting it.

“Yes. Sometimes I’m in the mood for something else, but usually…” Katriel shifted her duffel off her shoulder and set it on the far end of the table as Brian pulled out a chair and seated himself. But something about the bag caught his attention.

“… Why’s your duffel covered in sand?”

Katriel froze. “Uh.”

But by the expression on Brian’s face, it was far, far too late. The question had prompted recent memory to rise to the forefront of Katriel’s mind and with the siblings’ close bond enhanced by physical proximity, the male Betazoid had pretty much the whole story in seconds. Katriel feared the worst as she watched her brother work his jaw for a moment.

Eventually, though, all the older Sedai did was shrug. “Not really your usual type, is he?”

“… I don’t have a TYPE!” Katriel’s protest was squawked indignity.

“Don’t you? I mean, I’m pretty sure your past relationships have all been with … Academics,” he said, diplomatically.

Katriel huffed at him as she petulantly played with the tag of her tea bag. Some things never changed; she always felt younger and slightly less mature when her brother was about. “I was going to tell you the next time we called.”

“Pfeh, don’t worry about it,” Brian swallowed a sip of his drink. “I won’t say I’m totally at ease with it, but I can’t really object to a man who can make my little sister forget herself and laugh.”

Katriel tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. “… Thanks, Brian.”

“You’re welcome, Owl. Do you have time to visit the Sirocco with me? I have some materials in my lab that’ll properly preserve those flowers of yours.”

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Katriel was in the staff breakroom, musing over a mug of tea, when the sound of aircraft tugged her attention towards the window. She watched as a small squad of cargo vessels dipped out of orbit and headed inland.

“They’re carrying materials for the Embassy construction.”

The Betazoid turned her head towards the voice of the male human, perhaps eight or ten years her senior, just entering. Doctor Harper nodded to her in greeting, then again towards the window as he moved for the replicator to get his own breaktime beverage. “Just started last week.”

“What’re the estimates for completion?” Katriel asked, more out of making conversation than any real interest. The other doctor merely shrugged.

“Three to four months, if I’m not mistaken. Although I hear they’re planning to get the medical wing done first, to relieve the pressure on Cadence. We might be going back there in as little as two months, if rumors are to be believed.”

That made Katriel blink and her lips quirked into an amused smile. “Is that so? Seems like you won’t be needing me around for much longer, then, will you?”

Harper shook his head, joining her table with his own mug of raktajino. “Didn’t realize you were so eager to get away. Has it really been so terrible?” Katriel suppressed a laugh.

“Oh, no, it’s been lovely being back here. Kind of a nice change of pace from being station-side and no one’s countenance could possibly disagree with this weather.” Katriel smiled a little. “But the schedule leaves… something to be desired, I should say. It’s… challenging, keeping up with two different commitments at once,” she shrugged, a little helplessly.

“Hmm,” Harper’s tone was strangely noncommittal. But before she could inquire, he laid a PADD in front of her, the screen of which displayed a patient’s file.

“Who’s this?” Katriel asked, dragging it closer for a look.

“Thayl, Andorian pilot. You might not recognize his name, but no doubt you’ll recognize the accident that landed him here. He was navigating the Air Casperia tour cruiser that crashed into the old Embassy.”

Katriel’s eyes flew wide open. “That’s him? I … I didn’t know anyone aboard either vessel had survived!”

The doctor heaved a small sigh. “No one else did, and he very nearly didn’t as well. He managed to get a parachute, but was struck by some wreckage as it exploded. He had full body third degree burns and countless broken bones.”

The counselor sat very still, staring blankly at the pilot’s service photo on the PADD, unable to prevent herself from imagining the same face with the injuries described. “How is he now?”

“Well, it took nearly three weeks to regenerate and heal all his various injuries, then another month and a half for physical therapy. But all in all, he’s doing pretty well. Physically, anyway.” Harper slanted her a look at that.

Katriel recognized the unspoken request. On the books, she was primarily serving as a physician while on Casperia Prime and her time was rarely allocated to psychological needs. That didn’t quite stop Doctor Harper from periodically pointing out patients who he thought could really use someone to talk to and Katriel was always happy to oblige.

“Unfortunately, he’s being discharged today, so…”

“I have time, I’ll go check on him now,” Katriel responded promptly, polishing off the remainder of her tea and standing, intending on bringing her empty mug to the replicator to recycle. But just as she deposited her mug onto the replicator platform, a near-deafening klaxxon suddenly crackled over the comm system. Katriel exchanged glances with the other doctor and both of their faces paled a little when the alarm volume was reduced by a fraction to make the announcement that followed easier to hear.

“All available medical personnel, please report to transporter room for imminent departure. Arka II patrols encountered True Way resistance. Casualties expected. All available medical personnel, please report to …”

Doctor Harper stood wordlessly, leaving his mostly-full mug of raktajino on the table, with no hint of regret on his face. He collected Katriel by the arm and guided her out of the breakroom with him, gently.

But the counselor couldn’t help sending one last, single backwards glance towards the PADD left on the breakroom table and remembering Thayl’s face on its screen.

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It was just barely entering the evening hour when Katriel swept back into her quarters with half a growl stuck in her throat. She tossed her small stack of PADDs on the nearest flat surface with an unattractive clatter, spared one breath for an extensively exasperated sigh, then drifted towards her console and eased into the chair.

With the last of her appointments cleared, the counselor had retreated to her quarters with particular haste. All day, she had endured sympathetic glances and concerned emotions from the other counseling personnel. No one was able to restrain themselves from offering a quietly sorrowful “I’m sorry” or a gently encouraging “I’m sure they’ll find their way back”.

And Katriel was dead sick of it.

She inhaled a steady breath through her nose, trying to achieve calm, and attempted to turn her focus on the display. But her gaze seemed to go right through the console she was seated at.

Katriel reminded herself that she couldn’t really be upset at anyone. After all, thanks to her usual reticence at sharing details of her personal life with colleagues, none of them had any way of knowing that she was… technically… no longer anything to anyone who had maybe-possibly vanished along with the ill-fated Praetorian station. Even her brother, temporarily removed to Memory Alpha for research, was out of the loop.

She hadn’t meant to be secretive, but the subject just hadn’t come up. And now, amongst all of the would-be well-wishers, it didn’t seem like the time to correct people’s assumptions. So the counselor stiffly endured everyone’s sympathies, however misdirected.

A metallic clunk distracted her from her thoughts and she glanced up to see her rogue feline, sprawled on the coffee table and all twisted up in a string of flowers, next to a small blue vase on its side. Katriel climbed to her feet and walked over, wordlessly up-righting the vase with steady fingers. Then she patiently knelt and set to untangling the purring feline from her floral confinement.

There was a long moment of contemplative quiet as Katriel carefully extricated paws, claws and tail from string and petals. But at the end, Katriel only sighed once as she coiled the flowers around the vase once more, then plucked Fairy up in her arms for a brief cuddle.

“… Come on, little monster, time to eat.”

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Though her expression was sympathetically schooled, Katriel was dying a little bit inside. This was, without a doubt, the thing she hated most about being a doctor: being the bearer of bad news.

A Risian woman was seated at her husband’s bedside, her expression taut and closed as she emptily stared at his face. She seemed to have barely heard the words that Katriel had spoken to her, of her husband’s slow deterioration, of the facility’s inability to stabilize his condition. But the Betazoid had seen the barely imperceptible shifts in the other woman’s countenance, the signs of a person in a barely throttled panic at the realization that nothing would ever be the same again.

Most of the stories that came through the hospital were sad, of course, but this woman’s ordeals seemed worse than the usual. Her husband, a Haliian and Starfleet officer, had been posted on a patrol escort that met a dire fate in an ambush by True Way forces, just about a month ago. In the devestation of the starship, he had been thrown directly into a series of explosions, exposing him to multiple varieties of plasma, thoron, and metaphasic radiations. Though they had been able to heal most of his bodily traumas, he had remained comatose throughout and the state of his neurological health had been precarious for days.

Eventually they had been barely able to stabilize his neural pathways with synthesized neurons, but his natural telepathic capabilities had been sacrificed in the process. Now they were discovering that after two and a half weeks, his brain was beginning to reject the synthesized cells. He had, perhaps, three or four days of life left and would be bedridden for the duration.

Katriel shut her eyes, but it didn’t make the woman’s grief any less palpable. She shuttered her empathic sense to its natural minimum, but it didn’t help her forget the despair. The usual platitudes flitted through her mind. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Is there someone I can call for you? How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about it?

“Doctor Sedai?”

She glanced up, startled, at the figure of Nurse Ethily in the doorway, whose expectant expression was openly inquiring as she made a beckoning upnod. Katriel’s gaze tilted briefly towards her patient’s wife, but seeing her still oblivious to her surroundings, the doctor moved for the exit and joined the nurse in the corridor outside.

“You don’t look like you’re ready to go,” Ethily noted. Katriel stared blankly at the nurse for a moment. In her severe preoccupation, she hadn’t noticed that Ethily was not only out of uniform, but wearing a casual sundress that was deeply out of place in the formality of the hospital. A few awkward seconds ticked by.

“The festival,” Katriel realized. “That’s tonight.”

“Very good, Katriel,” Ethily’s tone was sardonic. “We may cure you of your workaholism, yet. Come on, get changed! We’ll wait for you.”

The Betazoid looked over her shoulder and down the hall to see this ‘we’ and, sure enough, there was a group of four other hospital staff, all clearly off-duty and beset by a bubbling excitement that was visible even from this distance. Katriel didn’t begrudge them the emotion at all.

But… Her expression held no regret as she turned back to face Ethily.

“Thank you, but you should go on ahead without me. I have some things to take care of first, but I’ll come join you in an hour or so?”

Ethily’s brows rose again and her face turned knowingly towards the window, where the grieving wife could be viewed still unmoving at her husband’s side. “You sure? Promise you’ll come down in an hour? You won’t forget and stay holed up in the hospital all night?”

Katriel’s lips twitched a fraction. “I promise.”

The nurse’s reluctance was clear on her face, but in the end, she just nodded once. “All right, ONE hour. If you haven’t joined us by then, I WILL come back up here to fetch you, don’t think I won’t!”

“Yes, sir,” Katriel responded, her voice meekly amused. She watched Ethily walk down the corridor, her carefree attitude clear from her playful stride. It seemed no one was surprised at her decision, though a couple of the others waved farewell, and she acknowledged them from afar with a small wave of her own.

Then, after they had disappeared around the corner, Katriel resolutely returned to her patient’s room. The scene appeared to be largely unchanged, but the other woman chose that moment to pull her gaze away from her husband to look towards Katriel’s entrance. Katriel’s focus went straight to her and she kept her tone respectfully soft.

“So… is there anything I can get for you?”

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In the early morning hour, the nearly empty hospital corridor was hushed quiet, making the clicking of her boots even more audible as Katriel made her way to the break room.

She winced a little as she rubbed the sore muscles of her shoulder; maybe she had overdone it the other day, fencing against her brother, for the first time in what seemed like ages. He certainly hasn’t lost any of his edge, she thought ruefully.

“Ah, just the person I wanted to see,” Doctor Harper greeted her as she entered the break room. He was seated at the table, a stack of PADDs next to a plate of some dessert item, that he had been consuming. “Come, sit, I have news for you.”

The Betazoid took her time, rounding over towards the drink station to pour herself a mug of tea, first. “Good news, I hope.”

“I think it’s excellent news, but you’re entitled to your own opinion, of course,” the doctor replied amiably, forking another piece of food into his mouth. Katriel came over with her drink and her lips quirked a little as she eyed Doctor Harper’s plate.

“Is that… pumpkin pie?”

“Mmhmm!” The other doctor swallowed his mouthful before continuing. “I had a craving, though the replicators don’t do it justice.”

“… so I hear.” Katriel cleared her throat, drawing out a chair for herself and settling into it. “So what’s this news of yours?”

Harper set his fork down with a careless clatter and reached over to his batch of PADDs, where he hunted a moment or two for the right one, before pulling it out of the stack and handing it off. Katriel turned the PADD right side up and began to read.

“To Doctor Katriel Sedai, on behalf of the board of directors of the new Casperia Embassy Medical Facilities, we are pleased to offer you…” Katriel’s voice suddenly trailed off as the words she was reading caught up with her brain.

“… to offer you the position of First Medical Officer, starting at the facility’s official opening date at the end of next month,” Doctor Harper finished for her. “That is, you would be my first officer, since they’ve made me CMO. Oh, and I know you might need more than a month to tie up your affairs with the Task Force, so I thought that maybe --”

“W… wait,” Katriel’s interruption was bewildered and uncertain. “I … how long have you known about this?”

The other doctor sat back in his seat, expression turning evaluative. “About two weeks, but I’ve been pushing for the board to give you the offer for the past month and a half. There were a lot of candidates to consider – everyone wants to work on a world of perpetual summer! – but they agreed your time here since the catastrophe put you way ahead of the rest.”

There was another beat of silence or two as Katriel did nothing more than stare at the PADD in her hands with mute astonishment.

“So… not as excellent for you as it is for me, then, I take it?” Doctor Harper inquired, his voice gruff. “I thought… I mean, I remember when you were finishing up your internship here originally, you were thinking about posting here permanently, but nothing was open at the time. Just figured --”

“No, no… it’s … just really unexpected, that’s all,” Katriel interrupted, a little wide-eyed, sensing Doctor Harper’s mild hurt. “It’s an incredibly generous offer. I’m really… honored.”

Doctor Harper eyed Katriel for a few seconds, skeptically, then blew out a loud, exasperated breath. “Ridiculous girl, don’t try to coddle me with your counselorly euphemisms.” Though his words were scornful, the expression on his face was wry. He picked up his fork, speared a piece of pie with it, and pointed it at her.

“Take some time to think about it, eh? It’d be a big shift, but it’s a lot safer here than it is on that Outpost of yours. Sunnier, too.”

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The Betazoid lieutenant and the Andorian ensign sat together at a corner table in silence, both trying to look casual with their slow sipping of drinks, both actually desperately trying to come up with some sort of strategy.

At first, Katriel had intended to use the console to send a message, encrypted or otherwise. But after nearly forty minutes of sending missives on the various, but extremely limited, frequencies available to the basic terminal, she still had received nothing in response and was forced to conclude that either no one was paying attention or outbound communications were being thwarted somehow.

In the end, the console was only useful for calling up the current passenger manifest, which she perused for potential allies. Katriel ruefully reflected that she should be grateful she was able to find even one other Starfleet officer on board, instead of being disconsolate that she hadn’t found someone with more experience in thwarting criminal proceedings. Ensign Ciroe, though not in uniform, had agreed that something should be done, but was just as uncertain as to how to proceed.

We don’t know how many there are, he had thought loudly, knowing that Katriel was specifically listening to him, in order to communicate silently about their plans. And they look just like other passengers. How will we know who is a hostile and who is just a civilian? Even if we disabled one, how will we find the others? What if there are twenty of them on board, far too many for us to handle? You might be able to read their intentions, but I wouldn’t be able to until it was too late. Even in the remote chance that we get the upper hand, they could turn it so quickly by taking hostages.

There were too many variables. The counselor took a deep breath, as if that would bring calm with it, and tried to focus. Then, as sudden as the chill up one’s spine, a memory surfaced and whispered.

… Sometimes, when I get stuck in my planning, I play a little game …

Unconsciously, her gaze wandered over the other passengers, before pausing on one sitting a few tables away. A big, burly alien of some sort, Katriel was not able to readily identify his species, with faint scars patterning his thick skin and no identifiable nose. A being like him looked as though he’d have no trouble subduing any number of hostiles just by flailing his arms. If it weren’t for the tiny spectacles over his eyes and his scholarly air as he pondered over his reading material, Katriel might have considered recruiting him to their cause.

How would he solve the problem…?

Katriel’s lips twitched into a faint smile.

((prequel here))

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The counselor wasn’t getting any work done.

The screen of the PADD in her lap went dark, an attempt to power-save as a result of no activity for an extended period of time. Katriel barely noticed as her gaze was perpetually directed towards the window. She watched the starships, like graceful fish, zipping in and out of Outpost space, slowing to maneuvering thrusters, weaving ponderously to their individual destinations.

Her mind felt so full and she sighed. When was the last time she had a choice like this one? Something where there was no right answer, where the decision was hers alone? A few years ago, she wouldn’t have hesitated; Casperia’s offer was the sort of position she had always envisioned herself holding, ever since her Academy days.

But now? She wondered if maybe, in her intent to break the mold that Starfleet had provided for her, she might have overlooked how well-suited she actually was for that path and how it might be capable of bringing her greater happiness.

And there were other considerations, now, too.

If only she could go back in time and convince her younger self that dreams could change, that life is not only full of unexpected twists and turns, but sometimes cycles, too.

That when things go the way you want them to, it’s luck. And when it doesn’t, it’s evolution.

Be brave, little owl.

The idle PADD came alive at her touch, as she navigated towards the subspace comms functions and resolutely tapped out a message. She had a promise to keep.

Thanks for the advice. I’m staying on Outpost.

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In her quarters, Katriel waited as the vidscreen indicated that a connection was being made to the U.S.S. Sirocco. It only took a few seconds for the call to connect, likely her brother had been waiting on it.

“Hi, Brian. How’s the project?”

“Going pretty well, thank you,” was Brian’s cheerful response. “We just compiled the results of the latest round of topsoil experiments and everything’s checking out, so we might be ready to close and go onto phase three soon.”

“Neat,” was Katriel’s absent reply as she twirled a length of string to tease Fairy into pouncing.

The elder Sedai glanced over at her through the viewscreen and scoffed. “You’re not even listening to me.”

“I am, too,” Katriel responded evenly, without glancing up. “Finished experiments, all green, phase three soon,” she parrotted back.

“Mmmrrrr,” Brian intoned skeptically. “How’re things with you?”

“Same, more or less. Nothing to write home about.” The lack of new things to discuss didn’t seem to trouble her.

“And how’s Matt?”

Katriel turned her back to the screen so that she could roll her eyes without Brian seeing. "He’s great, just like the last time you asked. And the time before that and the time before that. Honestly, you’re just like – " she stopped before finishing the sentence.

“… Nevermind,” she eventually said. Katriel imagined the sympathetic expression that was probably on Brian’s face at that moment and shook herself. New topic, new topic… oh!

“Actually, something did happen today. I heard back from Anzhela Muire, you remember her?”

“Sure. The ensign-almost-assassin,” he recalled with a nod. “I didn’t know you were still in contact with her. How’s she faring?”

Katriel pursed her lips for a brief moment before answering. “Starfleet’s denied her petition to return to service.” She said the words as if they were sour.

“Not good, then.” Brian looked thoughtful as he leaned back in his chair. “Did they give a reason?”

“Her assessments all came back positive, but… I suppose Starfleet just doesn’t want to take another risk on her.” The counselor’s tone was edged with gloominess. “In her psych files, she’s been labelled high-risk. Even if she seems fine now, her evaluators think that returning to the stress of duty would just be asking for trouble.”

“You don’t sound as though you agree,” the male Betazoid observed.

Katriel was silent a moment as she considered. “I wouldn’t want to pass judgement when I didn’t get to evaluate her myself, but…” She exhaled a tiny sigh. “It just … seems a little bit unfair, you know? What if she IS able to withstand the stress? She’s had a run of bad luck thus far, but maybe she really belongs in Starfleet. And they won’t even permit her to try?”

“You’re a regular bleeding heart, Owl. Starfleet’s not just some club you join for finding yourself,” Brian shook his head. “We’re providing a service and have obligations to fulfill. Command owes it to its officers to keep the ranks full of officers who they’re certain can be relied on, especially in possible life or death situations.”

Katriel took a long moment or two to digest his words. Eventually, she just exhaled another sigh. “… I suppose so.”

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Sleepless nights were a rarity for the counselor.

Usually her days were so full that it was basically impossible not to drop off right away. But every once in a while, her mind would be too occupied for resting.

Tonight found Katriel curled up on the sofa of the sitting area, her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms hugged around her legs. She was turned so that her body leaned sideways against the backrest, permitting herself a view of the starfield, and a breathing ball of black fur was contentedly slumbering atop her feet. The lights in her quarters remained at the lowest setting.

It hadn’t been a very good day. First had been that business from Starfleet Medical, their request for an extended and detailed proposal on the design of a hybrid medical and disaster relief facility that catered to personnel and civilians quartered in deep space. Katriel supposed it was her unique perspective surrounding the Casperia disaster and rebuilding effort, combined with her work on the now-designated Deep Space station that made Starfleet consider her to be a suitable candidate for such work.

Under ordinary circumstances, she might have been pleased with the opportunity. But by now, Katriel was familiar enough with Starfleet’s more bureaucratic side to guess at what the proposal’s trajectory might look like. It wasn’t the first of such items she’d been asked to deliver and such a document would take at least two or three months for her to research and draft, without disrupting her current obligations.

But more critically, the counselor understood that even if she should come up with something that could be viable, there remained the chance that Starfleet would choose not to fund the proposal regardless, resulting in roughly three months of hard work that’d amount to basically nothing. No one enjoyed seeing that sort of effort expended with nothing to show for it.

Then there was this other incident with the Bajoran detainee, which had introduced fresh doubt to Katriel’s heart. She had struggled with the morality of her telepathic abilities for most of her life and though she had generally developed a philosophy and boundaries for herself, every now and then there would be an incident that caused her to question her choices again.

Esahr’s palpable anger at her confession of the identity of her species was undoubtedly one of these and Katriel had wondered, more than once, at her hypocrisy. Having sensed Esahr’s apprehension and willingness to cause himself serious injury to avoid the threat of Vulcan mind-melding, she had mandated the medical hold to prevent the approach of any of the species. For his safety.

Yet how was what she had done – lingering on the sidelines as Ensign RunningBear made his inquiries, eavesdropping on the detainee’s private thoughts – any better? It was true that she hadn’t taken the thoughts by force, but was it not still a transgression? In some ways, was it not worse? That she accomplished through stealth what a Vulcan would have done with full disclosure?

Katriel exhaled a frustrated sigh.

Her usual coping mechanism would be to consult with, or to vent to as the case may be, her sibling. But the Sirocco had entered a comms-inaccessible range a couple days ago and Brian had warned her that he’d likely be out of contact for another week at least. So the younger Sedai was left with, temporarily, no one.

Who counsels the counselor?

Katriel turned her head away from the view of the starfield and stared for a breathless moment at the empty blue vase on the short table.

Her expression crumpled a little in doubt.

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It was moderately challenging, Katriel felt, keeping up with the long-legged Saurian as he briskly made his way down the corridors of the U.S.S. Kindred.

She’d been touring the medical vessel for the better part of an hour, following Chief Medical Officer Kkovug diligently from science lab to sickbay, cataloging the various facility customizations and listening to Kkovug’s detailed and lively anecdotes of the crew’s successes and failures.

The counselor diligently took notes on a PADD, although she was uncertain as of yet how much of the information would be useful. Still, when she had heard the Kindred had docked at DS13, she thought she may as well take the opportunity. If nothing else, getting a glimpse at some of the most advanced vessel sickbays in any fleet might at least lend some inspiration for her work.

The doors to Sickbay-4 swished open and Katriel carefully stepped over the threshold. Her eyes scanned the room layout with reserved interest, as it differed rather significantly from the others. Doctor Kkovug continued his friendly prattle.

“Surgeon’s Bay, we sometimes call it, as it’s primarily Doctor Emryd’s domain. He’s our principal surgeon.”

“Emryd?” Katriel wondered aloud, at the familiar name.

“Hello hello, Kkovug,” sounded the voice of a Bajoran male, stepping out of the office to see who had come to visit. “And who might – … Katriel.” Emryd had interrupted himself, then paused as he got a long look at the counselor’s face. On her part, she could only blink back with bemused surprise. A friendly smile spread across the surgeon’s face. “It’s a small universe, after all.”

“Kjorr,” she greeted him in kind. “Starfleet certainly does seem to make it so, sometimes.”

Kkovug’s head swung back and forth to eye the two of them. “You’re acquainted, then?”

“We dated, for a while,” Emryd rushed the words out, his mouth drawing into a wider grin at Katriel’s muted, but visible, dismay at having that specific aspect of their acquaintance come to the forefront. “While we were both at Starfleet Medical.”

“Oh?” Kkovug turned his curious eyes over to the Betazoid for confirmation. She imagined the Chief was well-acquainted with Emryd’s propensity for exaggeration by now.

“Yes, for a while,” she acknowledged, relaxing a little in her resignation. “But it turns out that learning to be a doctor and dating are not exactly mutually beneficial activities.”

Emryd conceded the point with a nod. “Split up after … what, two months? On good terms, of course. Even did a pretty good job of keeping in touch, for a couple years out.” He tilted his head. “What might you be doing here? Guessing by your surprise, it’s not to see me.”

“Starfleet Medical has tasked the counselor here with formulating a theoretical proposal for a hybrid disaster relief and medical center,” Kkovug obligingly saved Katriel the trouble of explaining. “She thought the Kindred might have some procedures or facility concepts worth carrying forward."

“Sounds dull, though I bet Lozori would enjoy it,” the Bajoran remarked, considering her. “For a moment, I thought maybe we were finally getting some counselors aboard.”

Katriel raised an eyebrow, turning her gaze towards the Saurian. “No counselors on Kindred? Not even for crew?”

Kkovug inclined his head briefly in confirmation and possibly also with a modicum of shame. “We’ve made the request several times, but it’s been Medical’s determination that because the Kindred’s average deployment length is less than forty-eight hours, there is no need to keep a counselor on staff.”

“But you deal with high-trauma patients on a regular basis.” Katriel’s tone was edged with disbelief.

“Indeed,” Kkovug agreed. “And our layovers are generally not long enough for the crew to do much more than stretch their legs a little. But what can you do if Starfleet Medical refuses to uproot personnel?”

The counselor’s hand came up to palm her chin, a mild frown crossing her expression. “Do you dock at DS13 often?”

“Not as often as we’d like,” Emryd responded, recognizing the increasingly speculative expression on the Betazoid’s face. “Though that may change soon, what with the station’s increasing relevance.” He grinned and put his palms up. “No offense, Katriel.”

“None taken,” was Katriel’s amicable response. “If you like, I’ll bring up your dilemma to the department head’s attention. I think it should be possible for us to consider setting up a rotation of counselors to see to the Kindred’s needs while still covering our own bases. Our staffing has been scaling up as of the past few months anyway and I can think of more than one of my colleagues who wouldn’t mind the occasional, abbreviated ship assignment.”

“Would you?” the Saurian positively glowed with appreciation. “That’d be fantastic.”

“Does that include you?” Emryd wanted to know. Katriel eyed him with mild skepticism.

“I’d consider it, certainly. Admittedly, I would be a logical choice. My patients load has gone down, so these days I mostly only deal with evaluations and the starbase’s miscellaneous personnel review requirements.”

The Bajoran beamed at her. “We should definitely catch up over dinner sometime, then.” His grin became a shade more mischievous. “Say, are you --”

“Yes! Yes, I am seeing somebody,” Katriel interrupted hastily. And then her mouth fell open a little as Emryd deliberately released a thought for her to overhear. “And so are you! You’re not even being serious!”

“There’s the telepath I remember!” Emryd laughed aloud, enjoying Katriel’s exasperation. “Yeah, been steady for over a year, so no need to worry about my preying on you. I really do want to catch up, though.” He smiled plaintively. "Please?”

Katriel just rolled her eyes and shook her head a little. “Sure, I’d like that.”

“I believe I’m better off not asking." Kkovug’s narrowed glance swung between the two of them again. "It’s settled, then. We’ll help you complete your proposal and you will help us with our counseling lack.”

“You’ve a deal, sir.”

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Katriel bit her lower lip as she squinted at her desk console, rapidly reading over the language on the screen for the umpteenth time, ignoring Fairy as the feline pawed at the foot of the desk for attention.

The counselor had a remote conference scheduled with Starfleet Medical to review progress on her proposal due to start in less than two hours. She was prepared, of course, but what harm ever occurred in checking things over one more time?

Just then, a message arrived on her console and Katriel very nearly slammed her forehead into the desk when she read what it said.

Postponed. New meeting data will be forwarded to you as soon as known.

Katriel slumped back in her seat with a sigh and glanced down at the feline, who’d given up and gone to grooming, instead.

“Right, whatever then!” she announced to no one in particular.

Then the counselor took up a PADD from the desk and exited her quarters.

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((all Bound material backdated by roughly four to six days or something.))

Incoming subspace communication for SEDAI, BRIAN…

---- // MESSAGE ORIGIN: Console SK6, U.S.S. Okoboji
TEXT ONLY. SIGNED: Sedai, Katriel // ----

Going on away mission, no comms after departure. Not sure how long.

Yes, I’ll be careful. Don’t worry!

Katriel

---- // END MESSAGE // ----

Relevant

2 Likes

“It’s your turn, girl.”

Katriel blinked her eyes open at the command and found herself staring at a Tri-D chessboard, with only a few pieces remaining to indicate the nearly finished state of the game. Though she had no recollection of any of the moves that had come before it, she nevertheless obediently studied the figures and lifted a knight, moving it forward. It seemed, somehow, the right thing to do.

Turn taken, Katriel became suddenly cognizant of her opponent as the other woman leaned forward with a studious mutter. Her features were unclear, though that hardly made sense considering the short distance between them, but the patterning of spots down her temples and neck made her species clear. A female Trill. Katriel didn’t know very many. Chassy?

The woman reached out and made an abrupt move on the board. “Checkmate,” she announced, gray eyes gleaming with satisfaction. Katriel sat back in her seat, more perplexed that the voice didn’t match with her recollection of what Chassy’s should sound like than at her loss in the game. Her opponent eventually clucked her tongue and stood up from her seat. “Not your best game by any measure. Having trouble concentrating?”

Katriel stared, her head feeling progressively cloudier as she tried to affix her recognition. She should know this person, she was sure of it. But if not Chassy, then who?

“I … I’m not really all that familiar with the game.” That was the problem with being telepathic: people never liked to play thinking games with you.

The not-Chassy made a rude noise. “That’s no excuse for not paying attention and having a plan. Even a bad strategy is better than none at all. Can’t just stumble into things blindly, now, can you?”

Katriel was thunderstruck. Ysra.

Quaen’s first host had gathered up her stack of actual paper notebooks and drifted off. Katriel shook off her stupor long enough to climb to her feet and step after her.

The counselor finally caught up to the Trill in an aisle of the hydroponics bay and listlessly began to follow after the woman as she inspected and cataloged various plants with a cold efficiency that the Borg would envy. Matt had once described Katriel as a ‘comforting’ scientist, rather than a clinical one, and the Betazoid supposed Ysra might qualify as the perfect example of a researcher on the other end of that spectrum.

When the mild humming of the surrounding equipment became somewhat unbearable, Katriel ventured a query. “What did you mean, when you said it was ‘not my best game’?”

“Chess is not the only game,” Ysra responded without looking up from her notebook. “Games of chance, games of love. Games of life or truth. Brain games, mind games. Especially mind games… the ones where you feel guilty and try to understand where it comes from.”

The counselor contemplated that with both discomfort and confusion. Seeing the puzzled look on Katriel’s face only made Ysra shake her head and return to her notetaking. “Shouldn’t have woken Quaen up. What would the Black Market do with a comatose symbiont, after all?”

Katriel was forced to halt midstep as a long-haired tabby feline jumped into her path from between two planters. The creature stared up at her, a little balefully, before vanishing into the foliage of the bottom-most plants. The counselor became conscious of more cats of varying colors, some hiding in pots along the ceiling while others groomed themselves on empty shelves.

“At least with Quaen awake and well, Chassy will continue to exist in a way,” Katriel said the words slowly. “Her memory is preserved, even her mannerisms.”

“Bah. You’re a scientist, same as me,” Ysra’s response was full of scorn. “Certainly I might agree that something LIKE Chassy has been preserved, but you know as well as I that it is not really her. Merely a copy, a facsimile of the precise chemical and neurological balance that composed her state while she was alive.”

Katriel stood frozen at that, unable to move.

“Unless you want to start believing in souls?” Ysra inquired in a dry tone. The Trill woman’s skeptical gray glance landed on Katriel.

The words caught in her throat and wouldn’t leave. I would try, if it meant she could be alive somewhere now.

Katriel’s eyes flickered open and she found herself staring at the ceiling over her bed. The room lights were dimmed low and she hastily sat up and tried to orient herself. “Computer, time please?”

She’d been asleep for less than two.

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Katriel slipped into her quarters late in the day, tired, but not unhappy.

The gratification of getting to venture out on an October-1a survey team had yet to completely wear off and the counselor briefly reveled in the remembered sensation of the crisp, cold air on her skin. Admittedly, though, she wouldn’t trade it for the warmth of her quarters now; the near freezing temperatures of the third planet’s moon had gotten old quick.

“Incoming subspace communication from Brian Sedai, U.S.S. Sirocco.”

Right on time, Katriel mused. It’s like he’s psychic or something.

“Accept transmission, display on main screen, please.” The computer chirruped in its compliance and Brian’s slightly anxious but mostly cheerful face popped into view.

“Oh great, you’re there!”

“Your timing is impeccable, I just got in,” Katriel complimented her brother as she flopped into an armchair and had her lap immediately accosted by the ever-present black feline.

“Ha, that’s what you think! What you don’t know is that I’ve actually been calling every fifteen minutes, I’ve left like six messages already.”

Katriel blinked once, but she smirked. “Oh.”

“So, stop stalling! How did it go? Find anything awesome?” Brian demanded as he slid into a seat on his end.

“We scoped out two planets, the first one was Class Y, so we couldn’t land,” Katriel tilted her head up towards the ceiling as she recalled the events. “So we moved towards the third planet in the system… which was a class Y gas giant, had the most amazing halo I’ve ever seen by the way, and Doctor Lindresko’s disappointed face almost matched the planet’s color when she thought we wouldn’t get to beam down again, but we discovered a class-M moon in orbit.”

“Seriously! What was it like?”

“Cold, freezing! But there were these trees and… hang on, I should have visual records.” Katriel leaned over to swipe a control PADD off the small coffee table and transferred some of the data to screen. The elder Sedai grinned in admiration at the taste of her planetary exploration adventure.

“Did you guys plant a flag on the surface in the name of Argo? One small step for a Betazoid, one giant leap for … err, Milky Way Galaxians?”

Katriel laughed outright. “What is this, twentieth century Earth? No, we didn’t plant a flag.”

“No claims of any kind, huh?” Brian mused aloud, while he flipped through the images captured from the journey. But as he said it, the counselor’s mind flashed back to a moment where her survey party had paused at the top of a stout summit to take mineral and floral samples. She had taken the opportunity to sit on a rock to enjoy the snowy view and, in her idleness, she leaned over to write a phrase in the snow with her gloved finger: Katriel was here.

“I guess the Federation’s matured a little since those days. Still, I am entirely jealous,” Brian continued, failing to notice Katriel’s mental lapse. “Here I am, trying to see new and unusual places by way of terraformation, and you’re the one who gets to go to a solar system from a whole 'nother galaxy! I think I’m in the wrong career path.”

Katriel just smiled serenely. “Speaking of which, how’s your project going? Are you almost done there yet, in Kormino?”

“Yeah, just a couple more months of observation to make sure all of our changes have taken effect properly, then we’ll be onto – actually, wait, I’m glad you brought it up,” Brian sat up in his seat in remembrance. “There’s actually no project scheduled after this one, at least not yet, so Sirocco command’s been floating talk of shore leave. I thought perhaps maybe you might want to request leave at the same time, so we could head home and visit Mom and Dad?”

Katriel’s hand came up to scratch behind Fairy’s ears. “I can’t, I already requested leave a couple weeks ago and had it approved, I couldn’t change it now.”

Brian’s head reared up from his study of the moon images to stare at her with surprise. “What? But you never take leave by yours-- oh.” Both expression and voice turned understanding in one word and then more melodramatic in the next. “Oh. Oh, I see how it is. Yeah, that’s how it starts all right,” the male Betazoid bemoaned, laying the back of his hand to his forehead in mock disbelief. “Before you know it, it’ll be Fairy answering these comm calls for you, cause you’re out enjoying yourself while your poor brother slaves over soil samples and dreams of seeing rogue solar systems, exiled from neighboring galaxies!”

Brian produced a pretended hurt sniffle and Katriel had the grace to feel a little guilty at his elaborate show. But… only a little. She opened her mouth to respond.

And then the klaxxon of the station’s red alert sounded throughout her quarters. Both Sedai siblings froze for a few seconds and while Brian’s expression turned concerned, Katriel’s turned neutral. She wouldn’t exacerbate her brother’s worry excessively. “I better go,” she stated, dislodging Fairy from her lap and coming to her feet.

Brian barely tried to clear the worry from his face. “Yeah, okay. Be smart, all right? And call me when it’s all clear.”

3 Likes

“And these assignment rotation cycles? They’re quite unorthodox, what is the logic behind them being so short?” The Bajoran officer inquired suddenly. “It seems unlikely that we will have sufficient personnel to achieve this standard.”

Katriel leaned forward to tap at the console embedded into the conference table, which advanced the display’s slideshow. She and Commander Kkovug were the only two flesh-and-blood participants sitting at the wide wooden surface, while an additional four holographic officers took up spaces on the opposite side. All of them were dressed in medical blue and gray.

“I understand that it seems unusual, to say the least,” Katriel conceded easily. "But one of my primary concerns is in the personnel’s well-being, especially from a psychological standpoint. Being isolated out in deep space for an extended period of time is hard enough, let alone working at a facility that addresses a high volume of traumatic occurrences.

“What I would recommend is that Starfleet experiment with rotating personnel from one posting to another, assuming said officers are amenable and have no families that would be displaced with each move. The trauma center should have the shortest cycles, no longer than three or four months. But there should be arrangements to have personnel move to a second facility, where they may recover in a lower-stress environment before returning to the deep space center.”

The holographic Bajoran woman still had a frown on her face, but a couple of the other doctors were nodding. The Trill officer spoke up, “That makes a lot of sense. It would be largely dependent on what other facilities exist in the sector, but the principle itself is sound.”

Katriel nodded once. “Any other questions, sirs?”

“No, personally, I’ve heard enough,” said the same Trill. “You’ve done well, Counselor. I believe we can take your proposal and decide what to do from here.”

“What is the actual likelihood of Starfleet actually building out a facility like this, out here in Eta Eridani or any other deep space sector?” the Saurian at Katriel’s right asked abruptly and she couldn’t help a mild flash of gratitude. It was something she wondered herself, but she’d have never bothered to actually ask.

The Trill doctor smiled a little sadly. “Well, we’ve been pushing for it for a good few months now, Kkovug, but admittedly Command has not been paying all that much attention. As they like to point out, Medical has sort of already spent its experimental facilities budget and we’re still waiting to see what the long term return on investment looks like for that one.”

Commander Kkovug snorted a laugh. “You’re referring to the Kindred, of course. We’re the most recent experiment.”

“Indeed,” the Trill nodded. “Having said that, this proposal does look promising, Counselor. We will keep you posted if anything comes of it, of course.”

“Thank you, sir,” was Katriel’s only response.

“Very good, then. Have a nice day, both of you.” The Trill leaned over to touch his holographic hand to the console and all four photonic officers vanished with the disconnected call. The Saurian and the Betazoid sat in silence for a moment or two.

“Congratulations, Counselor,” Kkovug eventually remarked, tone dry. “You’ve finished your most recent term paper. How do you feel?”

Katriel shook her head, though a faint smile touched her lips. “Relieved, I suppose. But … it is rather like a term paper, isn’t it? Mountains of research and writing, to receive only a pat on the back at the end and zero reassurances of execution.”

“Oh, I’m sure Starfleet Medical will have the resources for such a project in … let’s say, ten years?”

Katriel’s eyes grew a little wider with chagrin. “Not helpful. I’m sure most of my recommendations will be completely obsolete by then.”

“On a completely different subject,” Kkovug relaxed back into his seat. “I heard your Task Force met up with that ah… the Klingon strike force. Kargas? Were you there?”

“We did and I was, yes,” Katriel mirrored Kkovug’s posture, though her humor drained out a little at the new conversation piece.

“Sector politics is not usually my concern, but I am curious, if only because I’m tired of treating disruptor burns. How did that go?”

“Tense,” was Katriel’s reluctant response. “I’m not sure how many present really wanted to be there, on either side. There’s a fairly long history of poor relations between both organizations, so though many of the faces are new…” she shakes her head.

Kkovug crossed his arms across his chest, looking thoughtful. “Still, it’s a start, isn’t it?”

Katriel’s lips turned into a faint smile, but she didn’t look terribly happy about it. “I suppose it is. I’ve never hated the Klingons, Doctor, but I’ve often wondered what the implication is when species seem as though they are only capable of setting aside their differences when a greater enemy threatens them all.”

The Saurian considered the statement for a while. “You think this alliance temporary at best?”

“Not necessarily,” Katriel sighed. “Simply observing that we’ve arrived at our current circumstances through necessity, rather than enlightenment. Despite all of our intelligence, our spirituality, our empathy… so much of our desires continue to instead be driven by that base evolutionary imperative to survive. Or conquer, as the case may be. Even in my line of work, Commander, it continues to baffle me, sometimes.”

“Spoken like a true psychotherapist, Counselor,” Kkovug remarked, bemusedly.

“Well, I do so hate to disappoint.”

2 Likes

“… I had a really strange dream a few weeks ago.”

They were waiting for something, her and Matt. The two of them sat in
companionable silence, in the lounge of some foreign but irrelevant
starship. She was contemplating something, had opened her mouth
to speak, but then the swish of the sliding doors stayed her tongue
and she glanced up to see a pair of familiar faces coming through.

“-- uniform, really,” the female Trill
side-glanced what her escort was wearing.

The Isker ran one hand down his flank, hip, and thigh,
while the other combed through his hair. “You wish you
looked this good in uniform,”
was his vain response.

“We’re… not late,” Chassy iterated, attention turned towards at the
other two, her complexion turning a light pink in embarrassment.

Her lips pursed and she glanced in Matt’s
direction. “What do you think? Are they late?”

He checked at his watch. “Nah, but it was close.”

“Razor takes full responsibility,” Chassy declared, but she smiled
when she looked the Isker’s way. “He whined all the way to the door.”

“Well you know,” Razor drawled with a shrug. “Once she explained
how double dating actually works, it wasn’t nearly as interesting, t’heh.”


“You were there, and… Razor and Chassy were, also.”
“Was there a dog, and a tornado, by chance?”


Sharply dressed in a suit, Matt returned with a platter of finger
foods. Had he been wearing those clothes when he had left?
Her brow furrowed in confusion, her glance following the tray
as Matt set it down, though she didn’t move to take an item.

Chassy, on the other hand, stole a cookie off the platter
and nibbled on it while Razor spent an inordinate amount
of time with his hand hovering over the tray indecisively. He
eventually made a selection and his fingernails swiftly
extended out like knives, skewering some viddles upon
them. She edged over to avoid being in his way.


“I don’t remember a whole lot.”


“So, Chassy,” Matt began, conversationally. “It is good to see you again.
Katriel and I have talked about you a few times, since you disappeared.”

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Chassy said. “I’d die all over again
of embarrassment if I knew --”
Razor chose that moment to put
his face to Chassy’s and rub his barely-more-than-a-bump of a nose
against hers. She instantly flushed blue. “Ah, Razor… – they’re
right there,”
she rushed the three final words out in protest.

Razor sat back, but didn’t pass up the opportunity to instead put his
arm around Chassy’s shoulders. “Hey, a date is still a date, right?”

“You were never that sappy when I was alive,” Chassy remarked.
“How about you, Kat? Does Matt embarrass the spots off you on dates?”

She wondered when Chassy had started addressing her with
that nickname that so many favored. “Do you see any spots?”

“Oh, good one.”


“Seems like we dream for a reason? Just wanted to maybe help
find out what that was, in this case. Unless you already know?”


“Congratulations, by the way, on your promotion,
Katriel. I would have been very happy to see it.”

“Oh, thank you. I wanted to wait for you to come
back for it, but administration was backlogged.”

“It is a good thing we didn’t wait,
because you are never coming back.”

“I guess this is what holoimagers are for. And having Matt pin it…
so romantic! I’m glad he’s worked out for you, Counselor.
Your Major Svenson. I admit, I had my doubts after our talk.”

“Did you? Because of that whole … thing.
And his dubious taste in children’s literature.”

“Oh, yes, of course that. That was… that was a horrible book. I fed it
to Hassiri’s cats. But yes, I was worried. You seemed very shaken.”

“T’heh t’heh! Who consoles the counselor?”

“Counsels,” she absently corrected.
“It’s who counsels the counselor.”

“She’s too emotionally bolted to need
consolation, Razor. Or counselation.”


“Emotionally bolted? Did it sound like a compliment?”
“She might’ve meant it as one… but I don’t think I received it as one.”


“This isn’t bad,” Matt commented, consuming some sort of food item. “It sort of
reminds me of the time when we were out on the Okoboji, looking for the lost
Moirai crew, and tried some of the local food. Those were uncertain times. But
now that you know Chassy is gone, you can grieve and start to move on.”

“How did you get away, anyway? And without Quaen,
I thought you couldn’t survive without him?”

“Oh, I can’t. But you never went to see Quaen,
did you. How do you know it was him?”

“Oh, I guess I shouldn’t believe everything Command tells me…”

“She didn’t want to know. She’d rather be
uncertain you’re alive than certain you’re dead.”

“Surprisingly insightful, as always, Razor. What do you
think, Matt? Would you have gone to meet Quaen?”

“No, I wouldn’t go. I believe the reports that came from
Starfleet, so I wouldn’t go check on it myself. I am a soldier.”

She had opened her mouth to say something, but Chassy beat
her to it. “Is that why you’re taking it so slow with Katriel?”

Outfitted in his tactical gear, Matt stared in Chassy’s direction. “Matt is
going at a comfortable speed for both of us. It works out for the better.”

“Oh, Matt’s not just stalling?”

“People only stall when they don’t want something to happen at all, t’heh.”

“Do you think Matt is stalling?” This was directed at her.
Why was Matt referring to himself in the third person?

“No,” Her response was immediate, reflexive. And maybe too quick.
Then a little more uncertain. “… We have vacation planned, remember?”


“Perhaps your dream was your mind’s way of saying that,
it hasn’t forgotten her. And… that you probably need to
dream about your boyfriend a bit more often. Just saying.”


Chassy suddenly came to her feet and approached, extending her
hands out to her. When she only sat and stared at the other
woman in confusion, Chassy set her hands on the counselor’s
shoulders and leaned in to touch a kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you, Katriel.”

“… Oh. You’re welcome, but… what for?”

The suddenly empty space where Chassy stood did not reply.[/right]

“Certainly, Chassy, wherever she is, doesn’t
want you dwelling on her in a sad way, forever.”


((Dream material, dialogue and narrative, contributed by Chassy, Razor and Matt’s players through live RP. Thank you guys. :) ))

4 Likes

“Well, that was uhhh… interesting,” Matt finally stated.

Katriel laughed abruptly at the bewildered note in his words. The sound carried freely over the whispered lapping of the waves as the two of them made their way across the beach, hand-in-hand, returning to the hotel for the night.

She glanced sideways at him. “You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself more than me.”

“… yeah, okay, it was more than a little odd and I didn’t get it at all,” Matt shook his head, smirking with the concession. “The singing was nice enough, except that it was in Andorian and we had to turn our translators off or else the translations would mess with the music. But seriously. Risian interpretive dance? Did YOU get anything out of it?”

“Well, sure,” Katriel breezily responded. “There was a whole story in there, you didn’t see it?” Her companion halted in his tracks so he could turn the full force of his skeptical stare on her. Katriel merely emitted another chuckle and took a single step back, releasing his hand. She bent her knees and pulled up the long sleeves of her robe, as she extended a finger to draw in the sand.

“There was the protagonist, who was a woman,” she began. “You got that much, at least, I hope?”

“Yeah. There was only one female dancer. Is that, like, a stick figure with a skirt? Or… wait… it’s an ostrich!” Matt tilted his head first to the left, then to the right, trying to get a better sense of her sand sketching. “Maybe we should sign up for that art class at the resort tomorrow morning?”

Katriel likely would have doubled over at the jibe had he not stepped closer to steady her.

“You’re the worst.” But she was smiling. “This girl … she’s a normal person and doesn’t cause much trouble. But she’s got one serious problem: she’s really indecisive.”

Katriel made the little sand girl’s arms come up in helplessness and added a few question marks above her head for good measure. “So she spends much of her life letting other people make decisions for her: what to eat, where to go, who to see.”

“But then she has to decide who to love out of three men.” She lazily sketched three non-skirted stick figures in a rough triangle around the first. “And she’s not sure. She feels that love should be … obvious. That when she feels it, she should know. It should hit her like a tidal wave and leave no room for doubt. Probably because that would help her decide, when she’s normally so indecisive?”

Matt furrowed his brow. “But… the story is telling her that love is not like that?”

“More or less, I suppose,” she hedged, tilting her head up to look at him. “At least the other characters seemed to think that she would be waiting forever if she waited to feel like that.”

He walked slowly around the sand figures until he stood next to her and gave the drawing a perplexed look. “Did you really get all this just from the dancing?”

“Well, not ALL of it, but definitely some.” She paused for a long moment, sending him an innocent smile. “Admittedly it didn’t hurt that I could understand some of the words, sort of, even without my translator.” Katriel tapped her temple with a pair of fingers.

“That’s totally cheating,” he mock-scolded as he extended his hands to her. She suppressed a smile as she brushed the sand off her fingers before taking his hands and letting him pull her back up on her feet.

Matt’s expression altered with curiosity as they resumed strolling. “So who did she choose?”

“Oh, well,” Katriel’s lips pursed a little and her head tilted back to glance up at the night sky. “She didn’t get to, actually. A war broke out overseas and the three suitors were all drafted. It was five long years before only one of them came back alive and still wanted to marry her. So in the end, she didn’t have to choose anymore and they all lived happily ever after.”

He nearly stopped walking again, only she prevented it by tugging him forward. “What? Serious?”

“… No,” Katriel laughingly confessed. “I made that part up.”

“Oh my god,” Matt exclaimed. “Now who’s the horrible one?”

“Maybe you are just a bad influence?”

Their mutual teasing continued as they moved on, completely carefree. Behind them, the foamy waves lapped at the shore and eventually ventured high enough to envelop the sand-fixed stick figures, slowly reclaiming the smooth sand for the next passersby.

((Backdated by a week.))

3 Likes

Dear Matt,

– Started the letter in her head. Katriel wasn’t exactly certain why or how this habit of composing mental missives started, especially when the compositions often never made it to their intended recepient by the time she found herself at a console again.

You asked a while back about what part of me didn’t want to go through with this counseling hologram thing. What I said then was true, but it maybe wasn’t quite the entire story.

She stood at the top of the reception deck ramp of docking bay four, her hands clasped on the railing as she absently watched the ships roll in and out. Truth be told, she had been dreading this meeting since approximately five minutes after she had accepted Project Listen’s offer a month ago. But visits from Matt tended to have a bolstering effect that was practically tangible, suffusing her sense of self-worth and luring her into that almost alien state of optimism. Or at least, she could come up with no other explanation for why she was now facing the impending enterprise with new resolve, rather than apprehension.

The truth is that… I’m afraid of what I might learn about myself when this project is through. Counselors by trade practice a great deal of self-awareness and reflection already, you know? But when it’s all in your head, you can gloss over the things that make you uncomfortable and altogether ignore the things that you fear.

“There it is,” spoke the dark-skinned Trill standing near. Katriel’s glance focused on the most recently docked passenger vessel, a U.S.S. Hermes. Doctor Revy Lake and her team of three were theoretically onboard, along with some specialized equipment. Standing with Katriel was Zasudoe, the primary maintenance engineer assigned to oversee Project Listen’s needs, who had helped Katriel with prepping Holodeck-A for the team’s arrival.

“And only fifteen minutes late. You excited, Counselor?”

Katriel pursed her lips, an action that was nearly thwarted by the smile she almost made after she realized what she was doing. “‘Excited’ might be a bit much, but I think I’m ready to begin, at least.”

Somehow I don’t think my faults will be as easy to ignore when they’re literally standing in front of me.

The two waiting officers watched patiently as passengers filtered off the vessel, until Katriel identified the project team from their unique uniforms and service photos. The Betazoid nodded to Zasudoe and they trekked down the ramp to meet their arrivals. The leading scientist was a willowy Andorian with even more pale than average blue skin and her fine white hair in a ponytail.

Katriel watched as the other woman simultaneously straightened out her uniform’s tunic and scanned the docking bay. But it wasn’t long before they made eye contact and the Andorian surfaced a ready smile that the counselor returned with a confidence she didn’t altogether feel.

But the alternative seems worse. If I continue to hide from those parts of myself that I don’t understand or like, then how can I hope to become someone better? These days I believe one thing more and more: that finding happiness will see you content, but it is growth that’ll lead to a more lasting fulfillment.

Only a few more steps and the two blue-clad women were facing one another. Katriel inclined her head in greeting. “Doctor Lake, welcome to Deep Space Thirteen.”

I miss you, too.
Katriel

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Step 1: Take one (1) whole dark-haired Betazoid…

Considering the complexity of illusions that modern holodeck technology was capable of achieving, the current state of holodeck-A was really nothing impressive. Still, Katriel observed her surroundings with more than just passing interest. The back half of the deck appeared to remain in an off state, with emitters and gridlines clearly visible, while the front half was actively engaged in producing a facsimile of the project team’s desk and console space.

There were also a number of non-photonic consoles and machines spaced throughout which, Katriel supposed, served specialized scanning or computing functions that required greater resolution or computational power than what the holodeck computer could provide. Not that she was enough of an engineer to follow that nonsense.

“As you might imagine, this is going to be one of the easier steps to complete,” Doctor Lake noted, as her aides ushered the counselor into the center of one of these machines now. The Andorian scientist stood casually watching as the aides fussed and poked and prodded at Katriel’s posture until the counselor was standing to their satisfaction. She wasn’t exactly sure what was different about how she was currently positioned from how she normally stood, but Doctor Lake was nodding in approval as her aides backed away.

One scientist remained at the machine’s adjoined console and started tapping away. “Just hold still for a while, Counselor, this won’t hurt a bit.”

Indeed, she felt nothing as she resisted the urge to look down when a photonic scanning beam enveloped her feet and started panning slowly upwards.

“This is our hybrid holographic imager and biomatter scanner, originally developed on Jupiter Station,” Doctor Lake explained. “With it, we’ll be able to get our foundation model for the template, as well as the vast majority of your static physical details, all in one scan. It’s a bit more sophisticated than your average holoimager, not to mention far higher resolution.”

Katriel was preoccupied trying not to watch the scanning light crawl up her legs, so she nearly missed Doctor Lake’s query. “Have you ever imported your image to a deck with a holoimager before, Commander?” When she didn’t answer right away, the Andorian continued. “It’s perfectly safe to talk. The machine will need to take a few passes, anyway.”

The Betazoid blinked once before opening her mouth. “I see. I … yes, actually, but just one of those substandard consumer imagers, and that was years back. The result was fairly unimpressive and it was some sort of proprietary format, et cetera. I’m sure it can’t compare with this.”

“It certainly wouldn’t,” Doctor Lake sniffed once with her response. “We’ve had to make sure that our holograms will appear at high quality regardless of the hardware producing it, so that requires getting scans at higher resolution since, as I’m sure you know, it’s always easier to compress down to lower quality than vice versa.”

Katriel merely nodded once, lapsing into silence for a moment as the beam had reached her neck. Despite Doctor Lake’s assurances, it still felt a little wrong to talk while her face was actually being scanned. She waited for the beam to sweep her entire head twice, once up and once on the way down before asking another question. “How long will the model rendering take after you’ve finished the scan passes?”

Doctor Lake smiled. Instead of responding, she nodded towards the aide who was processing the scan, who merely tapped out a sequence on the console. Just to the right of the imaging machine, a photonic outline flickered into view. Katriel watched silently as the image pieced itself together in time with the scan that was still currently passing over her figure. No wait for rendering at all, but a live scan.

“Very impressive,” was her measured response as she watched her own image being rendered.

“Mostly a demonstration of how excellent our engineers have become at optimization algorithms,” Doctor Lake responded, her glance having dropped down to her PADD for a moment. “We had to perfect the hybrid scanner early on, as the chairman indicated it makes for an impressive demonstration tool. So much of our early support was garnered through doing exactly these scans of doubters.”

The Andorian scientist smirked readily, putting the PADD aside as she stepped forward to inspect the still-building hologram. She slid her hands into her coat pocket and paced around the image idly. “You might be surprised by the size of the library of holograms we’ve built up, due to people who have donated their images this way. Even managed to dig up archived holoimage data and convert it into the new system, giving us access to many famous Starfleet figures.”

Katriel said nothing as the scan passed over her head one final time. Her gaze remained wordlessly on her holographic duplicate, as the final photons filled into place. Doctor Lake circled the hologram once more, her experienced eyes inspecting it for what, Katriel couldn’t say. But the Doctor merely nodded once.

“This’ll do,” she pronounced. “What do you think, Commander?”

That I hate mirrors. And that this is much worse.

“It certainly looks quite flawless, Doctor,” was all she said outloud.

“Change out the uniform,” the doctor instructed the aide still standing at the console. A couple of key presses and it was done, the familiar navy blue Argo uniform dissolving into the pale gray-beige of the standard medical duty uniform, only with a distinct violet stripe.

“Very good for a first pass. We’ll need to look at the data and clean it up, but there aren’t any glaring issues so far, so I’m sure we’ll be moving onto the fun part before very long,” Doctor Lake’s tone was brisk and cheerful. “In the meantime, this is for you.”

As one aide invited Katriel to step outside of the scanner, the other had approached with a set of clothing offered out. The Betazoid’s glance dropped to the neatly folded, darkly-colored uniform with some puzzlement. The texture looked rather like satin, promising to be a little more form fitting than her standard wear. Atop the pile was a pair of black gloves. “What is this?”

Doctor Lake just smiled primly. “It’s your uniform for the next week roughly, or however long it takes to get the motion data we need. Captain Morton assured me there would be no issues with you wearing something non-standard for the duration.”

Of course he would, Katriel grumped to herself. She gingerly took up one of the black gloves, fitting it onto her hand and snugging the fingers tight. Her lips pursed when the trim of the glove’s fingers turned white in response. An indication of its recording input?

This is going to be a long week.

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Step 2: Add in one (1) voice, alto-flavored…

It was with no minor amount of relief that Katriel delivered the motion capture suit back into the arms of Doctor Lake’s aide, who wordlessly rushed it off to a console to process. Katriel watched for a moment longer, trepidation increasing.

“How utterly fascinating,” Kkovug’s fluid baritone sounded out. The Betazoid glanced over to see the Kindred’s Chief Medical Officer inspecting her hologram with wide, fascinated eyes. He leaned forward, with his hands clasped behind his back, as he paced around the still form of photonic-Katriel. “They’ve quite captured your look, I think.”

Katriel suppressed a wince at the thought, but held her tongue as Kkovug and principal surgeon Emryd Kjorr carried on with their intense inspection of holo-Katriel’s flaws.

“I don’t know,” Kjorr temporized in his teasing tenor, as he retreated a step and craned his neck backwards, as if distance would provide a better lens. “She looks less … something. Overworked, perhaps?” He snapped his fingers. “That’s it. Your hologram looks far better rested. And her hair might not be blue enough. They do know your hair is blue, right?”

Whatever rejoinder Katriel might’ve made died in her throat as Doctor Lake pushed her gently towards one of the desk consoles. Her collected soprano began to explain. “While we’re parsing through the motion capture data, we may as well get started on the next step: voice print.”

Katriel was personally quite impressed by how quickly it seemed that her voice fled her at that instant, as the Doctor maneuvered her into position and set up the recording mechanism. She had to clear her throat a bit in order to get out her question. “And how does this work, exactly?”

“As with the motion capture, we will not be satisfied with anything but the most complete sample and record. You will need to speak uninterrupted for some length of time, so monologue only, no conversation. The program will assess if you’ve covered the entire gamut of samples that we will require, at the end.”

The Counselor nodded once. “Does it matter what I talk about?”

“Not in the least,” the Doctor reassured. “It should be in a speaking voice, however, no tonal singing. That comes later.”

Katriel shot the Doctor an alarmed look and was only somewhat mollified by Doctor Lake’s apologetic relax-I’m-joking smile. She internally sighed as she turned over subjects in her head. Talk uninterrupted?

“You could totally talk about the Maestro,” Emryd cheerfully volunteered. “Or maybe the time that you and Brian were late to that one fencing tournament because he forgot the --”

“THANK you, Kjorr, I’m sure I can come up with something myself,” Katriel grumped as she leaned a palm against the console, tapping her fingertips on the surface with a veiled irritation. Talk about herself, in front of this audience? Not likely. Summary of a Vulcan novella? An Andorian parable, or three? Her glance shifted over to the two Kindred crew members who had accompanied her to holodeck-A in their curiosity. She paused, then cleared her throat.

“Once upon a time,” and she had to keep her lips from twitching just a bit, as Kkovug shot her an amused glance for her whimsy. “… There were two sisters. Or half sisters, actually. The older one was dark haired and quiet, while the younger was fair haired and cheerful.”

Katriel wondered, briefly, if this was even an adequate method for obtaining a voice sample. She’d noticed that a person’s voice tended to modulate widely, depending on who a person was speaking with. Even the slightest amount of tension or unfamiliarity could make a person’s voice rise a notch in pitch. Katriel shook her head a little and tried to think of what to say.

"Out of the two of them, the younger sister tended to draw more attention. She possessed a naturally sunny disposition and everyone enjoys being around someone who is happy. But not only was she a pleasure to associate with, she was also intelligent and clever and tended to have opportunity handed to her on a plate.

"Much to the older sister’s dismay. Lei, as she was sometimes called, was a little more … prickly. More formal, a little more blunt. She was hardly unpleasant to be around, but her younger sister definitely tended to steal the show, so this was grating for Lei, who felt less and less sisterly affection as the years passed.

"Lei, in an attempt to distance herself and make her own way, went to Starfleet Academy. She did well enough, but her sister chose to join a few years later and seemed to excel just as much. Lei felt that no matter how well she did, her sister always seemed to be better. So blinded by her unhappiness and her jealousy, Lei and her sister rarely spoke to one another in their young adult years, though this was mostly Lei who couldn’t bring herself to be very courteous.

"Years later, Lei was offered a posting above the U.S.S. Poenari, as first officer. There were those that had considered it to be an ill-advised decision, as the Poenari had gone through two first officers already, both who had requested transfers after short time periods served. But Lei was ready and eager to take on new responsibility and to prove herself more able than her sister, who had achieved XO on a science vessel elsewhere in the quadrant. And whenever the Poenari’s Captain made a questionable judgement call, Lei ignored her instincts and continued to serve him faithfully.

"But during an escort patrol, the Poenari came under fire by True Way. The Captain was almost immediately killed in the battle, leaving Lei the commanding officer. They managed to repel the attackers, but when she gave the order to pursue as the former Captain would have done, the crew refused. The Poenari was at half strength and the civilian freighters they were escorting were also in need of attention.

"It was mutiny, Lei realized, and though she railed and ranted, the bridge crew refused to cooperate, Lei’s judgement called into question and ratified by both the Poenari’s CMO and head counselor. She was interred in the brig until the crisis was over, until Starfleet retrieved her to ESD and she awaited tribunal.

"In the end, Lei was cleared of any real wrongdoing, though her choices were ruled as poorly considered. It was argued that so quickly after assuming a role that she was not yet ready for, her decision to default to the actions of what her former commander would have done was really quite logical in some ways. But no commander would take her now, due to the stain on her record. The Poenari was ascribed a fresh Captain and it was not her.

"And then Lei’s sister came to see her. She had achieved Captain rank and was ready to assume command of a new science vessel, doing research for Starfleet Medical. Lei was both angry and disarmed when her sister asked Lei to be her first officer.

"‘Why would you want me, when I’ve been nothing but horrible to you?’ Lei wondered. And Lei’s sister just said, ‘because you are my sister and it would make me happy if we could serve together.’

“Lei had no other choice, even if she wanted to refuse, there were no other opportunities for her. But the two sisters appeared to work together well, even if they bicker constantly. Perhaps in time, Lei will have earned enough credibility to obtain her own command, but for now, they seem to be happy enough as they are.”

Katriel took another breath to continue but halted when a large section of the console lit up green. Doctor Lake stepped over from whatever corner she had been standing in and nodded a bit, reaching a hand forward to turn the recording off. “Very good, Commander. That’s all we need.”

The Betazoid made a slight face, but nodded. One of the aides helpfully handed her a glass of water, of which she took a brief drink while ignoring Kkovug’s speculative gaze. Emryd was less circumspect.

“Pretty tough luck for Lei, there, whoever she is,” he commented. “Not one of your patients or anything, was she?”

“Of course not,” Katriel’s tone was completely deadpan. “Just a little digging I did into Starfleet history, one night when I was curious.”

She brought up her glass for another sip but paused with the glass half-raised when a searing flash of anger brought her up short. Someone else’s anger, faint but distinct. Her head tilted towards the holodeck’s door, she listened as the feeling flickered in intensity. Someone’s getting chewed out.

… She’d have to look into that later.

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