Reflections
It felt like it had been a hell of a year, but in reality, it had only been 2 or 3 months. Maikull looked out of the window of his ready room to the spatial hues of the nebula they were surveying. Yet where he would normally take in the beauty of space, he could only see his reflection today. A taller, bearded man with the starting of a gut, hair slowly fading to pepper of a man stared back at him. Heh, the defining mark of a true Starfleet captain, graying hair…he really felt like one of them now.
Hard to imagine that 20 years ago he had enrolled in Starfleet Academy. What a wild ride it had been since then. How different his life could have been had he not ran away from the conclave back home? He pondered for a moment on this, but shook his head. No…he was never going to stay at that place, running away was always an assurance. The real pivotal moment for him was just before he graduated…
Starfleet Academy; Circa 2405 – Pre-Academy Graduation
*Barron nervously stood before the Academy Commandant’s desk, being summoned before the headmaster was almost never a good thing, especially a week away from graduation. He was sure he didn’t do anything wrong, but still his mind raced through worse case scenarios. *
Cadet Barron: “You wished to see me sir?”
Commandant: “Ahh yes, Cadet. Come in, take a seat.” He greeted warmly, yet not looking up from a padd in his hand.
Maikull obliged cautiously, settling himself down yet somehow managing to maintain attention in a seated position.
Commandant: putting his padd down and seeing the fear-stricken cadet before him he gave a hearty chuckle. “Relax, you’re not in trouble. We always try to sit down with cadets just before they graduate, make sure their on track for the right career.” The elder officer explained.
Cadet Barron: Relaxing his shoulders just a bit, Maikull hesitantly replied, “Sorry sir, its just…I thought Captain Taggart did that?”
Commandant: The headmaster smiles at Maikull’s remark, looking off to his aid and giving a nod, “That he does…” he picks up the padd once more and flips through it, “Tell me, are you related to Doctor Craig Barron by chance?”
Cadet Barron: Maikull nods at the question, “Yes sir, he was my great uncle. He passed after my first year here.”
Commandant: “Ahh, I am sorry for your loss. He was the one who sponsored you into the Academy correct?” he asked setting the padd down again
Cadet Barron: “Yes sir…is, there a problem?”
Commandant: “Oh no no. I had a few run in’s with Craig in my day, just reminiscing about the past. It says here that before he took you in, you lived in an ‘Amish communal’ down in Texas? That had to be a culture shock for you. No technology and all.”
Cadet Barron: Something didn’t feel right about this. It felt more like a passive interrogation than anything else. “Yes sir…My great uncle helped me adapt in the short span I lived with him.” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably before continuing, “Sorry for the bluntness sir, but what does that have to do with my career choice?”
Commandant: The commandant gave a cold smile to the cadet’s question. “Absolutely nothing.” Once again he turned and nodded to his aid, “Told you this one was sharp.” He picked up the Padd and skimmed it again before turning his attention back to the cadet. “Lets talk about your training cruise shall we? Captain Taggart reported that you appeared to be…abnormally perceptive to the situation at hand, almost as if you knew what was going to happen. Ship logs indicated you even preemptively set functions for commands not yet given to you by your superior officer. Care to explain?”
Cadet Barron: Here it was…the real reason he was here. Taking a breath of relief that he was now addressing the root of his summons, Maikull settled into a more relaxed seating position. “Because the scenario was staged sir.”
Commandant: “And how would you know that?”
Cadet Barron: “Four months ago, I opened a Public Information Request in regards to Academy Training Courses dating back the last 10 years, this was to include records on Training Cruises from Senior Cadets. Not wanting to raise suspicion, I filed the request under the estate of my late Grandfather, which was inherited to me upon his passing. I used that information to determine there are 23 specific destinations pre-selected and utilized for a final senior training cruise. Of these 23, there are at least 3-4 unique scenarios that are pre-scripted in order to ensure Cadets receive ‘real world experience’ before departing the academy, a final test of their resolve and spirit in the light of adversity.”
Commandant: The commandant just continued to grin through Barron’s exposition, almost as if he were impressed with the Cadet. “You know…some would construe your actions as Cheating, which is a very grievous academic offence.”
Cadet Barron: “Id argue that sir. When we start our coursework, we are presented with all the information needed to us on Data Padds. Our ‘tests’ are just a means to grasp our understanding and retention of that information without the resources available to us. I accessed public information to make an educated assessment of what to expect, spent months memorizing and retaining that statistical data so that when we began our cruise, I was able to extrapolate what struggles we would potentially face based off our heading, and best prepare myself and the crew for those challenges.”
???: “What Field was he going into?” a voice spoke out from behind them.
Commandant: “Operations.” The commandant responded to the out-of-view voice.
*Barron felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise, he did not notice another person in the room when he entered, nor did he hear the doors open since. It did not take long for the voice to come strolling over, taking a seat next to him with a similarly warm smile on his face. *
Commandant: “Cadet, this is Commander Frazier. I hardly think I need to say who he works for?”
Maikull quickly too notice of the Commander , the all black strip across the officers shoulders was more than enough to identify his affiliation. He shook his head slowly, his mind ablaze as to why this Commander was here with them.
Commander Frazier: “I’m impressed, really. Though sorry to bust your bubble, but your not the first cadet to pull stat analysis like that. Effective, especially the bit where you covered your tracks. Not breaking the rules, because its public knowledge, and nothing is stopping us from changing the tests year from year. So tell me Cadet, why Ops?”
Cadet Barron: A little taken aback by the Commanders assessment then sudden track switch, he answered, once again hesitantly, waiting for the proverbial shoe to finally drop. “Operations have their hands in a bit of everything. They help keep the day-to-day running so everyone else can properly perform their duties and functions.”
Commander Frazier: “What if I were to tell you there was another division that did the same thing, albeit in a different manner? One that someone of your mindset could prove very valuable, if given the proper guidance.”
Maikulls eyes widened, as it finally clicked as to why he was called in, why this commander was here. It wasn’t an interrogation…it was an initiation!
Maikull chuckled to himself at the memory as he moved from the window to his replicator. A cup of warm apple cider beamed in before him, as he took his drink back to his desk. He was sure he was going to be expelled that day at the academy, but it turned out to be the start of a long and prosperous career in Intelligence. His first year as an Ensign was more akin to an extra term at the Academy than anything else, Vocational Crash Courses on various Languages both written and spoken, Data Encryption Training, Statistical Logistics. Though with the start of the forth Federation-Klingon war kicking off in the same year, his training became more… campaign specific.
Three years as a Data Analyst were some of the most informative, yet infuriating years of his career, as he poured over data that would come in for review and recommendation, yet oddly he always struggled to find the resolution to the problems that he was tasked to solve, some new crisis or intel would take priority and once again he would be jerked into a new scenario to pour over charts and tables with. He was young, and his training made him ambitious. Ultimately he got what he asked for, promoting to Lieutenant in 2408, and becoming a field operative.
Boots on the ground of the frontlines was more his speed, becoming increasingly involved in the Conflict of Ajilon Prime. He would find himself attending ballroom galas on Romulan Empire Worlds, chasing/running from Tal Shiar agents and creating a network of informants; to posing as ship crew to investigate Federation Officers involved in unceremonious activities unbecoming of their rank and file. It was everything that one would expect of a action/adventure spy drama; he even met his femme fatale wife-to-be during his clandestine escapade through the stars.
The Commanding Officer looked at his terminal, its sleep-mode screen showing him and his wife on their recent trip to Risa together, and smiled. Because for all the good times came plenty of bad memories, in droves. Constant War meant constant pressure on Intelligence; Deadlines, Quotas, High Priorities that changed hourly. Everything happened fast pace, and everything bore the weight of the galaxy at stake. Six Years, running on high-octane adrenaline had put years’ worth of miles on his soul.
And he remembered the moment he had reached his breaking point…
Starbase 234; Circa April 2413
Shortly in the Aftermath of Surface Tension
A Younger Barron sat on the observation deck alone. The drink he was served sat abandoned as he gazed lifelessly at the chess board before him. It wasn’t even set properly, yet still in his mind he was calculating what moves he could/should make next to quickly check the invisible enemy king. Anything was better than focusing on the mission.
The doors to the observation lounge swung open, a Female Captain with the same black uniform as he stepped in. Maikull knew she was coming. Coming to congratulate him on a successful mission, Praise him for ‘saving the alpha quadrant’ once again, Offer condolences to the loss of his teammates; then tell him some new looming threat greater than the last is ready to boil over. The Klingons, The Tal’Shiar, The Borg, The Undine; It never ended no matter how hard he pushed himself.
Capt. Budnik: “Mind If I take a seat?” The Captain asked, her dark hair wrapped up in a ponytail and uniform more crisp than usual, clearly coming from some command staff meeting.
He shrugged in agreement, not directly looking her in the eye. He readied himself for another song and dance around whatever real topic she wanted to discuss. The game board, sensing two players now, lit up with holographic pieces to fill the void, sure enough he had anticipated most of the placements already.
Capt. Budnik: Seeing his non-responsive response, she quickly plopped down, and plucked her comm-badge off of her chest, tossing it onto the table, a common signal that their talk held no record or rank. “Look, I know something’s wrong. You can talk to me about if you need too.”
Lt. Barron: Slowly he too slid his comm-badge off, yet he couldn’t help himself but to start to laugh. It wasn’t a ‘funny -haha’ kind of laugh either; more of a broken, ‘nothing left to do but laugh’ bellow as he hid his face in his hand for a minute, less his facial expressions betray him momentarily. He knew she meant well, but he also knew she was just as overworked as the rest of them. “You have 13 minutes till your next meeting with Alliance Section Chiefs. We don’t have time for me to sit down and talk it out. And its not like I can go to some shrink…because at this point my damn near entire existence is classified.”
Capt. Budnik: “Mike…you’ve been in the game for 9 years now, and they haven’t been good years. The last four especially. Maybe its time yo—” she began to say
Lt. Barron: “Do what? Take a break?” he cut her off boorishly. “The Undine LITERALLY ambushed Earth!” he proclaimed, with dramatic pause, “Almost killed us all. We have lost Tens of THOUSANDS of officers! Hell we were so short staffed BEFORE that, F##KING Lieutenants like ME were commanding frontline ships in combat!” He had shoved away from the table in frustration and was not on his feet, pacing back and forth. “And I’m supposed to just take it easy? Go to Risa and have a couple of Sunrise’s on the rocks?! Throw some latinum at the Dabo table, and forget about the fact you walked in here ready to tell me were about to get into a new Pissing Match with the Klingons and Romulans over this new F**king Delta Quadrant Sphere thing?! ”
Capt. Budnik: She sat there and listened to the poor boy vent, prophets know’s he probably needed it. Thankfully she had anticipated he was on a short fuse after the attack on Sector 001, like many others, and had cleared the area beforehand.
Lt. Barron: “Let me guess? You came here from command with a nice little accommodation for my bravery and valor huh? ‘Thanks for keeping the shield grid of Orbital Arc 30 online, sorry all of your friends died!’”
Capt. Budnik: The captain withdrew a small velvet box from her pocket and set it on the table, “Something like that, yea…” She saw Maikull look at the box, she could see how hard it was for him to hold back his emotions already as he shook his head.
Lt. Barron: “Burn it…I don’t deserve it.” He stated flatly, looking away once more.
Capt. Budnik: “Mike, I know its hard—” she once again started before the junior officer cut her off again.
Lt. Barron: “I killed Hobbs.”
Capt. Budnik: She pursed her lips at his comment. It wasn’t uncommon for officers to blame themselves for the loss of comrades. “Your not responsible for –”
Lt. Barron: Once again he talked over her, “I did the safety override to the power generators, I was looking at the energy distribution network. I knew that if anyone touched that other terminal to re-ignite the Arc’s shields, it was going to go off like a bomb in their face. I knew it, Sean Knew it, and Hobbs knew it.” The muscles of his face were fighting a losing battle holding back tears as his voice began to crack. “He asked me if it was clear, and I looked him in the face, and told him it was going to be fine, I ordered him to turn the shields on….” The sorrow was pouring from him, in each of his words he tried to turn it into hate, rage and anger, but the grief was too much to be quenched out of him. “I did what I was taught to do. I prioritized the mission… over the life of a good man… -I- killed him!”
Capt. Budnik: “And had you not, Thousands more would have died, and we could have truly lost ESD…Hobbs knew the risk–”
Lt. Barron: “HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT OK TIFFANY!? HOW MANY MORE BODIES DO I HAVE TO STACK FOR THE GOOD OF THE FEDERATION BEFORE F##KING SECTION 31 COMES KNOCKING AT MY DOOR WITH A SHINEY NEW BLACK BADGE” He roared, taking the comm badge that was in his hand and hurling it at the adjacent wall, shattering it to pieces.
Captain Budnik had the patience of a saint. Dropping rank probably wasn’t the -best- move here, and trying to roll back on that decision would have only made things worse. She slowly rose to her feet, as the emotional lieutenant leaned against the table, his head slumped down, tears falling to the floor in silence. Walking around, she embraced him in a hug, placing his head into her shoulder to cry on. After a few moments, she finally broke the silence.
Capt. Budnik: “I’m going to say something. I don’t say this as your captain, I say this as your mentor, and friend. And I swear to the gods if you interrupt me one more time, I will b*tch slap you up and down this room, ok?” Maikull nodded meekly, and took his seat again as she continued. “I personally feel your too young for this, but we play the cards we are delt. Your damn good at what you do, and a damn good operative, but you’ve been in play for far too long. Its not your fault because we have been in one crisis after another, and we are critically low on personnel. Typically Operatives don’t stay in play for more than a year at a time, unless they’re on specific sanctioned long-term detail. It’s to help prevent this kind of burn out…its to help prevent people becoming so desensitized they start thinking Sec31.”
Capt. Budnik: “You didn’t kill Hobbs, he knew what he was doing, and sacrificed himself to save ESD, because he knew if he didn’t push that button you would have. Your not Sec 31 material, because your tore up over that decision, as where them heartless bastards couldn’t care less. You lost everyone you could reach out to for support in that battle, I know the relationship you have with your family, and I know you feel more alone now than you did before you joined Starfleet. And as your captain, pissing match with the Klingons and Romulans aside, I cannot in good conscious put you back into the field in that condition.”
Capt. Budnik: Returning to her seat, she placed her hand over the felt box “Im not like most captains. I don’t gage myself off successful missions, or years of service. I judge myself by those who serve under me. A captain can take a good officer and burn them at both ends until there is nothing left. Another captain can see the greatness of their subordinates, and bury them in mediocrity to keep from outshining them. I on the other hand, prefer my officers to surpass me, to do better, to be better, so I can look back on my career and say ‘I made all those fine captains and admirals’ and can rest well knowing the galaxy is in safe hands.”
Capt. Budnik: Opening the box, she slides it over to the Lieutenant who looks at it in disbelief. At the same time, she picks up her own comm badge and places it back on her uniform, denoting that NOW things were official between them once again. “They didn’t offer you an accommodation, they gave you a promotion. Lieutenant Commander Maikull Barron. You are asked to report for permanent duty aboard the USS Okita, as their on-board Intelligence Officer. The Captain aboard is a good friend of mine, and will be putting you through The Command Officer Program, helping you transition from Intelligence. On behalf of Starfleet Command Admiralty, we thank you for your invaluable years of service, and hope you will accept this new commission.”
He could still hear Captain Budnik’s words of wisdom in his mind. “You need to make roots for yourself, else you will endlessly float through the void of space, alone and uncontrollable until your heart freezes solid.” And she wasn’t wrong. He found his family aboard a starship. Some lost, some dysfunctional, some needing guidance and a helping hand. He had taken her words to heart, and once he had completed the Command Program and starting taking charge, he too felt that these officers who served under him were his own legacy, only time would tell if his leadership would truly be enough to raise them to greatness. Because being a captain isn’t about yourself, its about everyone else who holds you up to that regard.