Aurelia: Logs and letters home.

[Aurelia is laying on the bed in her family’s quarters on DS13, staring unhappily at the ceiling, worrying at a thumbnail with her teeth. Suddenly, she laughs. It’s hard. Angry.]

I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to get on the Tebok, where to find the good kali-fal to take Nathes, how much to bribe security, which PADDs I could compromise in which offices, which basecode they’re using, which excuses to lay in front of Rellir this time, and I realize: I can do none of it. Not a shard. To do so would be, as they say, an international incident. I can’t even go to the commander directly.

So I am going to quite possibly do something I have never done before.

I am going to tell my superior officer.

[She laughs. And laughs again, and buries her face in the pillow laughing, long peals of it. Snorts. It sounds almost terrified. When she’s done, she rolls back over to stare at the ceiling again, wiping her eyes.]

Of course, I could always just take Nathes some kali-fal, call it a get-to-know-you meeting. It’s not spying if I get lost on the way to the bathroom, is it? Your security officer is compromised by a madwoman and my insane and abused former best friend, yes, the same one that published the book I had to basically join Starfleet and haul all the way out here to escape, oops, I didn’t know I was walking into the brig, I really thought that large bloke was a toilet attendant, warbirds are fancy these days –

[A snort.]

Nobody’s going to believe for a second that a woman who spent seven years trapped on a warbird in a time anomaly can’t remember where the fvadt bathroom is.

No. I’m going to have to do it the right way.

[She puts a pillow over her head and screams.]

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WHERE I AM FROM
Personal reflection for Federation Standard language class, DS13 Secondary
by Verelan i-Anarhai Buchanan t’Veras, age 14

I was born on Anarhai, a Romulan Republic vessel trapped in a time anomaly. My mother was the captain, and for the first five years, the leader. So I learned a lot from the moment I could understand. For the first seven and a half years of my life, I didn’t believe anything existed outside of the hull of the ship, and there were no other children to play with. I grew up learning to hand tools to engineers and shooting in the gun range and helping Mr. Osiangli water plants in the hydroponics bay. The biggest lesson about my people came when I turned six and Mother’s exec Nakar organized a mutiny, and suddenly people I had considered aunties and uncles were walling my mother and I up in our quarters holding guns. And that’s when I learned what it meant to be Romulan.

After we got out of the time anomaly the Republic started sending my mother out on missions undercover in the Empire and I moved to Earth with my father. I had only heard stories about him, that he was funny and kind and brave although Nakar and the rest thought Mother was crazy. He was a teacher at Starfleet Academy and once I felt safe enough to walk outside under the sky he and my half-sister Ramona took me to see everything everywhere. On Earth I learned that I could laugh and that nobody was going to steal my food and that I could have as much of it as I wanted. I got hugs and learned to rollerskate and went to an incredibly normal human school where I learned all sorts of awesome human things, like how to make slime and play hopscotch. And all of this was very wonderful but one day some of the other kids walked up to me and pointed to my ears and called me a “stupid goblin.” And that’s when I learned what it means to be human.

But I don’t feel caught between those two worlds here on Deep Space 13. I live with both of my parents here and they are always around and that can be annoying but it’s also really nice. I like that it feels like a ship and that it has a hull and that we can control and explain everything from the hull inwards. (The weather thing on Earth was really a lot, like a lot lot.) I like that people’s behavior is explainable, like it was on the Anarhai. Mostly. Humans are still weird. But I also like that it feels more like Earth than that. That people smile and are open and do ridiculous things and I don’t always feel like someone is going to betray us again. And I love that I can go to a replicator at any time and eat whatever I want and that I can say things like “SO AND SO IS A FART HEAD” in public and not get in trouble. Unless I want to get in trouble.

(written in the corner in green ink, by the teacher: “Verelan, we do not use the words ‘fart head’ in academic writing.”)

So I really do feel like Deep Space 13 is where I’m from, even if I’m still discovering what that means. And that is my essay.

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[profahnar] hey
[warbirdaurelia] are you here yet?
[profahnar] got in last night
[profahnar] i’ll come and see you jack and vee as soon as i get my classroom set up
[profahnar] so what do you think about commander nathes
[warbirdaurelia] she’s engaged
[profahnar] …
[profahnar] …
[profahnar] i meant as a commander
[profahnar] i’m not interested in dating anyway
[warbirdaurelia] sure
[warbirdaurelia] mmhm
[warbirdaurelia] and the proconsul is a purple epohh
[warbirdaurelia] i’m actually very impressed by nathes
[warbirdaurelia] why do you ask?
[profahnar] she has a project
[warbirdaurelia] she has quite a few of those
[profahnar] but she’s not crazy right
[warbirdaurelia] i’m having tea with her tonight
[warbirdaurelia] i’ll let you know
[profahnar] bring your poison kit
[warbirdaurelia] pfft
[warbirdaurelia] i am the poison kit
[profahnar] this is true
[profahnar] well let me know
[profahnar] i’d love to get nerdy over her t’kon artifacts
[warbirdaurelia] …
[warbirdaurelia] …
[profahnar] …
[profahnar] STOP IT
[warbirdaurelia] NEVER

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[profahnar] where have you been
[profahnar] i’m going on this thing with nathes this weekend
[profahnar] super exciting
[profahnar] pre-industrial civilization
[profahnar] weird monuments
[profahnar] intricate impoissible layout
[warbirdaurelia] why can’t you go to risa like normal people
[profahnar] why have horg’ahns when you can have
[profahnar] THE STONE OR BONE GAME
[warbirdaurelia] that is not a real thing
[profahnar] it is
[warbirdaurelia] no
[profahnar] you pick up the item
[profahnar] you lick it
[warbirdaurelia] i’m gonna stop you right there
[profahnar] you can’t stop me
[warbirdaurelia] watch me
[warbirdaurelia] i got him
[profahnar] which him
[warbirdaurelia] who do you think
[profahnar] …
[profahnar] !!!
[profahnar] !!!
[profahnar] !!!1111!!11!!111!!asdfghjkl
[warbirdaurelia] so you wanna get ice cream
[profahnar]
[profahnar]
[profahnar]
[profahnar]
[warbirdaurelia] you’re already on your way i see

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[rekkhaivee] uuuuugh my mom is the WOOOOOOORST
[wacknerak] what she doin now
[rekkhaivee] sooo many stupid lectures
[rekkhaivee] “when i was ur age i was already in philasa’sam”
[rekkhaivee] “i’d already tortured my first starfleet officer”
[rekkhaivee] “u gotta figure out what u want to do with your life”
[rekkhaivee] it’s like
[rekkhaivee] moooooom
[rekkhaivee] things are different now
[rekkhaivee] i’m only fourteen
[rekkhaivee] let me do what i want
[wacknerak] yeah my dad’s the same
[wacknerak] all that raptor wing stuff he’s obsessed with
[wacknerak] can’t shut up about the stupid revolution
[wacknerak] i dunno
[wacknerak] it kinda seemed like the empire was pretty cool
[rekkhaivee] in what way
[wacknerak] i dunno
[wacknerak] like everybody knew where they were from
[wacknerak] who they were going to be
[wacknerak] there were no questions
[wacknerak] it was easy
[rekkhaivee] my mom doesn’t make it sound easy
[wacknerak] i mean
[wacknerak] i wouldn’t want to torture anybody
[rekkhaivee] well she definitely says u couldn’t do what u wanted
[rekkhaivee] she says there was a lot of torturing
[rekkhaivee] and sometimes you had to do it to your friends
[rekkhaivee] like if you said something wrong against the praetor
[rekkhaivee] i would have to torture you about it
[wacknerak] you can torture me any day :) :)
[rekkhaivee] hee hee hee
[wacknerak] is that a yes
[rekkhaivee] what
[wacknerak] what
[rekkhaivee] ew
[rekkhaivee] NERAK
[rekkhaivee] is that ur way of asking me to prom
[wacknerak] … what if it was

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Transcript of a log recorded by LCDR Aurelia Buchanan t’Veras in her quarters.

What is that phrase the humans use? ‘Just when you think you are out, they pull you back in?’

Commander Nathes came to me with a… sensitive matter, and I provided my professional advice. The matter weighed distinctly on me, so I made discreet inquiries with Starfleet Intelligence to confirm my suspicions. Which led to my suggestion that Starfleet have an eye on the matter even if they weren’t going to help, which led to certain superiors doing exactly what I planned for them to do in regards to my schedule, ran it by Nathes and — well.

Humans are so easy to manipulate. Anyway —

I’ll be helping out on the Tebok for a while as an observer and consultant on intelligence matters. The crew will likely see this as a political officer position no matter what I say, but this isn’t the first time everyone on a warbird will want to kill me. But I can’t sit idly by behind my comfortable desk while Rator threatens the free galaxy and everything we’ve worked for. And desk work won’t get me a promotion… and a ship.

They, not we. The Republic. They. I’m still getting used to that.

They.

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[rekkhaivee] mom
[rekkhaivee] moooommmmm
[warbirdaurelia] … how are you texting me
[warbirdaurelia] i am aboard the tebok
[warbirdaurelia] we are running dark
[warbirdaurelia] i’ll be back tomorrow
[rekkhaivee] nerak is being weird
[warbirdaurelia] mr. tal shiar wack hair is being weird
[warbirdaurelia] i’m so surprised
[rekkhaivee] he says his dad says there’s gonna be a war
[rekkhaivee] his dad is a centurion on the tebok
[rekkhaivee] he hears things
[warbirdaurelia] you shouldn’t be able to text me right now
[warbirdaurelia] very curious
[warbirdaurelia] hmm
[rekkhaivee] mom
[rekkhaivee] listen
[rekkhaivee] i don’t want there to be a war
[rekkhaivee] because if there’s a war it means you have to go fight in it
[rekkhaivee] and i don’t want that
[warbirdaurelia] verelan darling
[warbirdaurelia] did you just hack the tebok???
[rekkhaivee] … no
[rekkhaivee] uh
[warbirdaurelia] aw sweetie
[warbirdaurelia] this is amazing
[rekkhaivee] MOM
[warbirdaurelia] hold on i have to tell your father
[warbirdaurelia] he’ll be thrilled
[rekkhaivee] MOM HE’S NOT GONNA BE THRILLED
[rekkhaivee] mom
[rekkhaivee] mooooooom
[rekkhaivee] moooom where did u go
[rekkhaivee] DON’T TELL DAD I HACKED THE TEBOK
[warbirdaurelia] listen carefully
[warbirdaurelia] there will always be a war
[warbirdaurelia] you will always need to fight in it
[warbirdaurelia] we are beholden to a senatorial house of the romulan republic
[warbirdaurelia] we are beholden to the ideals of the federation
[warbirdaurelia] we are rihannsu
[warbirdaurelia] we do not cower
[warbirdaurelia] we defend the weak
[warbirdaurelia] we defend our people
[warbirdaurelia] we feel every inch of their pain
[warbirdaurelia] we use it to free the prisoners
[warbirdaurelia] rescue the broken
[warbirdaurelia] and so we go to war
[warbirdaurelia] and you’re a human, too
[warbirdaurelia] and humans are mostly brave
[warbirdaurelia] although they do cower a little
[warbirdaurelia] and some other things
[rekkhaivee] what other things
[warbirdaurelia] hack romulan warships and get in LOTS OF TROUBLE
[warbirdaurelia] apparently
[rekkhaivee] MOM

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[profahnar] sooooooo um
[profahnar] what do i do if i can’t get a shuttle off chaltok
[warbirdaurelia] you’re WHERE
[profahnar] chaltok
[warbirdaurelia] …
[warbirdaurelia] girl or keynote
[profahnar] …
[profahnar] what if i said both
[profahnar] look
[profahnar] it seemed like a good idea at the time
[warbirdaurelia] i can’t get you on chaltok
[warbirdaurelia] i can’t even leave the fvadt starbase
[profahnar] you’re the one that joined starfleet, aurelia
[profahnar] don’t whine into my face about it
[warbirdaurelia] it seemed like a good idea at the time
[profahnar] so if i can’t get a shuttle off chaltok
[profahnar] what do i do
[warbirdaurelia] what do you think you should do
[profahnar] get a gun
[profahnar] go underground
[profahnar] there are tunnels below the university
[profahnar] bring the students
[warbirdaurelia] there you go
[warbirdaurelia] that’s what you do
[warbirdaurelia] so go do it
[warbirdaurelia] … ahnar?
[warbirdaurelia] …
[warbirdaurelia] fvadt.

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[wacknerak] come ouuuuuut
[wacknerak] we’re all at at the place
[wacknerak] and we’re never going to get a better chance
[rekkhaivee] my mom says i can’t come
[wacknerak] your mom isn’t even on the station
[rekkhaivee] my dad says i can’t come
[wacknerak] you’re going to let a human tell you what to do
[rekkhaivee] well yeah
[rekkhaivee] he’s my dad
[wacknerak] i keep forgetting
[wacknerak] you just seem so romulan
[rekkhaivee] what’s that supposed to mean???
[wacknerak] it was a compliment
[rekkhaivee] huh
[rekkhaivee] really
[wacknerak] now come out to the spot
[rekkhaivee] i really don’t want to get in trouble
[wacknerak] if you were really romulan you’d already know how to get out of it
[rekkhaivee] you insulting me isn’t going to get me to come out any faster
[wacknerak] sorry
[wacknerak] I’m just excited
[wacknerak] and t’rai and jensen are already there
[wacknerak] come onnnnnnnnn
[rekkhaivee] fiiiiiiine

4 Likes

An audlio-only log.

I’m supposed to go to Risa. I’m supposed to go to Risa like the glassing of Beta Reticuli wasn’t my fault.

I spent the whole ride home thinking it over and over in my head. There was nothing I could have done. My cover was meant for silent observation, not taking over an entire flagship like I ended up doing. I had precisely five minutes before my ruse fell through like wet tissue paper and since I was technically close to bleeding out… Well, those five minutes had to be spent stealing a shuttle if I wanted to get those traitors’ names to Starfleet Intelligence… I probably could have found out what was going on with more time, but I would have gone to my grave with that information. And Beta Reticuli would have been glassed anyway. And Jack and Vee…

And all those people…

I know it’s not my fault.

But I feel liike… I know it is.

And now I have to go to Risa like nothing is wrong.

Click.

7 Likes

[warbirdaurelia] ok out with it
[warbirdaurelia] you haven’t written since you got back to mol’rihan
[warbirdaurelia] what did i do
[profahnar] seriously?
[profahnar] wtf aurelia
[warbirdaurelia] seriously
[profahnar] ok how about the time when you and your new best friend commander nathes hid kirina in the brig of Tebok AND FORGOT TO TELL ME SHE WAS THERE
[warbirdaurelia] yes well
[warbirdaurelia] i didn’t exactly think you would ASK FOR A TEMPORARY FIELD COMMISSION
[profahnar] I WAS BEING PATRIOTIC
[warbirdaurelia] OH WERE YOU
[profahnar] if you saw what i saw
[profahnar] it got BAD on Chaltok
[profahnar] i had to do something
[profahnar] … ok and they let me work on the t’kon artifacts for a while
[warbirdaurelia] in my defense, brother, i was kind of busy at the time infiltrating imperial command and i didn’t even know where you were
[profahnar] SHE DRUGGED ME AURELIA
[warbirdaurelia] that was ten years ago
[profahnar] SHE BROKE MY HEART
[warbirdaurelia] so what was that thing with thue again then
[profahnar] …
[profahnar] ok so
[profahnar] sometimes people want different things
[profahnar] we can’t always have perfect husbands and perfect children and perfect careers
[warbirdaurelia] you’re being unfair
[warbirdaurelia] i do my best to serve where i can
[profahnar] serve??
[profahnar] the only thing you serve is your own ambition
[profahnar] you didn’t join Starfleet because of Jack or Vee or any stupid vaunted ideal, you joined up because you thought it was the only way you could get ahead because everyone else knows who you are inside
[profahnar] in your deepest rihannsu heart
[profahnar] you’re still as damaged as any of the imperials and just as thirsty for power
[profahnar] how do you think you did so well infiltrating them
[warbirdaurelia] you’re out of line
[profahnar] or maybe I’m just seeing things clearly for once
[warbirdaurelia] we’re keeping kirina on tebok for her own good
[warbirdaurelia] nathes treats her like a person and we’re seeing real rehabilitative progress
[profahnar] mmhm
[profahnar] i bet you are
[warbirdaurelia] what’s that supposed to mean?
[profahnar] you said something very similar
[profahnar] the night before she DRUGGED ME AND LEFT ME FOR DEAD
[profahnar] …
[warbirdaurelia] you’re wrong
[warbirdaurelia] i feel better working for Starfleet than i ever have
[profahnar] mmhm
[profahnar] when are you going to petition to join the command line
[warbirdaurelia] …
[profahnar] there she is
[profahnar] hru’firh t’Veras
[profahnar] not happy unless she’s got blood on her dathe’nov’sen
[profahnar] I’m tired of these games

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[profahnar] so how is kirina doing
[warbirdaurelia] oh for fvadt sakes.

1 Like