Captain Quint personal logs

Quint is sitting on the couch in his station quarters. Instrumental music playing in the background as he looks out the window with an odd smile on his face.

Computer, Personal log. *The computer beeps and advises its ready* Well, just got in from playing cards and...well. That was a while ago. *Quint looks at the ceiling and smiles wide* I...I guess its recap time for the most recent events. Well since being arrested and held in the brig I've been swapped to being confined to my quarters on station and the public access areas. Could be worse. Could still be siting in the brig. So I'm set to appear before a JAG hearing next week now so things have...slowed down but the tension level is way up. Perim and Parsons have gotten on to serve as defense so I at least feel covered there. The serious charges are easy...its all the light stuff that bothers me. Most of what we did apparently didn't fall under the approved category. Wonderful news that. I guess, Perim seems pretty set we will be alright. Here's hoping.

Sleeps been an issue again. All the stress and everything else, brought the dreams on again. Not near as bad as before thankfully. I guess to a degree I feel better knowing they are the right nightmares. That in turn has stirred up others. I see the faces of the people whose homes we went into, the looks as we took a family member away. I was used to that, I mean on SWAT we served warrants all the time. I guess finding out we weren't really supposed to be....eats. Even if it was the right thing. Leaves a terrible taste in my mouth. Oh well....Done is done. Now all that's left is the grief, and that's a killer.

Quint stands letting out a groan as he stretches a bit. Moving to the window to watch the ships come and go as the stations rotation brings the lane into view.

There's other issues. At some point maybe I'll actually voice them but for now....Lets just say my personal life is complicated. I need to find some new books, programs, and or hobbies. Need to pass these next few days quickly. So much rides on this hearing. Hell. Even if I am cleared I happened to notice my physical and psychological evals are due. All because Perim found out it was my birthday Monday. Had Swifty make me a cupcake. Who knew he could bake. *Quiet laugh* I guess.

Quint walks to the door to the other section of the quarters grabbing a towel form his desk.

Computer, end log.
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Quint is in his quarters on the USS Paladin, several PADDs line his desk, a single candle is left burning slightly with a pair of incense sticks going as well. Quint sits on the corner of the table in his room. Watching the candle more than the PADD in his hand.

Computer, personal log.*The computer lets out its pair of beeps "Recording ready"* Well. What shoudl have been a perfectly good week has been shot to hell. What a mess. Court Martial went great. Only hammered with some minor Reprimands. Beats what it could have been. While waiting for Paladin to return, I spent some time with Perim and some of the ladies she runs around with. Seems Rellir has a *Quint pauses a bit and looks at the candle* Well she says a restless spirit by the sounds of it, I say malicious spirit. In either case. Figured a good thing to do woudl be to provide her a bit of protection against such a thing. Not many believe in the spirit realm, makes helping a bit hard. Let alone asking. Grandma always said. "You have to skills to heal, you use them. Not to is a disservice to the gifts you've been given and those who came before."

Quint sits the PADD down and walks over to the candle and incense. He passes his hand through the wisps of smoke a bit.

What do I do? Take the Tigers eye stone she gave me...Made it something that would reflect one such as Rellir. Naturally one Romulan stigma or another turned it into an ordeal. Of course that aside, there was a serious incident on the station...Kirina, why haven't I shot that woman yet?...Kirina and some help decided to bomb the station. A trap to draw away the defense force, bombings here, people attacked, Tal'Shiar warbirds, and of course the sneaky little pain in the ass gets away. Again.

Quint shakes his head and wanders to his desk.

After that the Admiral required the Romulans to be escorted if they were below the rank of Commander. That made things nice and tense. It seemed they'd made about the best they could. Aurelia got drunk, *shakes his head* Scary I know. Not that I blame her...Her brother is mixed in, helping Kirina, knowingly or not, she's gonna hold on to that one. Rellir seemed to be..Political about it. A credit to the station she holds. Which brings me back to earlier. I really wish they'd learn the line "I accept this in the meaning in which it was given" Going to be meeting other races and not going to war? Kinda gotta learn that one. Oh well, I'm sure someone will pay me a visit for that. Aside from Grandma that is. Gonna be pretty ticked I used that stone and have nothing come of it.

Other good note was the evening I spent out with Perim as we celebrated getting clear of the Court Martial. A movie in the holodeck and a few snacks. Made for a good time. Should have been the cap off of a good week. Maybe next week right?

Till then I'm going to see what they want Paladin doing. Hunting those warbirds or hanging around to provide security since we aren't tore up. At least the Admiral lifted the escort clause on the Romulans, need to be all on the same side here. Not watching one another while trying to move ahead.

Quint settles down on the floor near the candle and breaths quietly for a few moments. "Computer, end log" Maybe a trick of the lighting occurs as the system closes the file, but there almost seems to be a face in the wisps of smoke
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Quint is standing in the Ready Room of the Paladin stacking few PADDs away on a shelf. Once doen he steps over to the view port and looks out at the gathered ships and the station in the background.

Computer, Personal log. *The beeps quickly followed by the synthetic voice inform him he may begin* I suppose its the sign of the times. Fleet Command has ordered all ships to be on station by the end of the week. Something is brewing, I know it, and no one who knows what is saying anything. I got a cryptic explanation from Neema, and she had to limit what she said. Consolidation like this means either we have a storm coming, or are going to start one. Maybe both. In either case, Paladin is ready. All combat systems are on line and working at fully efficiency. I just filed the report saying so. Now I wait.

Quint steps away form the window and goes to his desk.

There is an upside here, I get to spend time with Neema and....that kinda got a kick. Turns out in a transporter accident she got made eighteen. Along with a few other officers. Made things kinda comical around the station to be sure. Aurelia is...Fourteen physically, Tilly is like sixteen or so, so is Zala I hear and maybe one or two others. All the drama of teenagers. Oh well it keeps things light. Maybe before what ever goes on Neema and I will get a bit of time but hard to say. Till then I'll just do what I can with the time I've got.

Maybe its a sign of the times...Tilly asked me to lie to her...Tell her her home world would be okay. That everything would be fine so she could relax. I don't know why I actually did. Maybe because she does look so young and feels unable to help. So much, hanging by so little, guarded by so few now. The only thing I'll say on it now...Is that if it comes my time in this war that I make them regret crossing the Paladins path.

I need to cheer up some. I'm going to head back over and see who is around. End recording.
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Quint is sitting in his quarters on base, reading a book. Finally tossing it to the coffee table near his couch, he lays down with his hands behind his head and stares up for a bit before speaking.

Personal log, *The Computer beeps and opens the file, "Recording"* well. Dam. Its been a long rough road. We have peace finally, the galaxy is mending. The people are mending. Life goes on and is improving. I've spoken with the families of the crew I've lost in this war. We held a quiet gathering here for them so they wouldn't be overwhelmed by the larger memorial services. Got to see Emily, she's saying she will enlist, serve Starfleet like her mother did. *Quint smiles a bit at that* She's got her mothers spirit I can already tell, that kid will do well.

I also got word from Starfleet Command, about Paladin and her repairs. They feel its better suited to Starfleet to scrap her, spread the experienced crew around to help with those who were quickly trained and put in the field. I'm arguing against this as best I can. I know she's tore up, hell Commander Bortl'a gave a two month repair time just off a guess with out looking at her. I guess I'm not ready to consign her to the scrap yard I pulled her out of. I've put in messages with some friends around the fleet, seeing if I can get enough backing to keep her in service.

Quint sits up, spinning so he can stand and walks over to the replicator and gets a drink of water.

I'm not sure what the future holds now. If they decommission Paladin, what will they do with me? Will I be assigned to a program? Given another command? So much to not know. Drives me crazy someday s how bureaucracy works. I guess, I will have to see what comes of it all. Till then all I can do is move along, spend time with friends and stay as sane as possible.
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Quint is at his desk fiddling with an electronic device with a few tools near by. He leans back after a few moments and sits up and stretches.

Computer, open personal logs and record new entry. *The computer beeps ready* I got a new Command, at least for now, I've been told its mine for as long as I choose but have to see. The USS White Hawk. Not a half bad little bird, plenty of fire power. Agile and fast too. Crew of forty-five so definitely not as crowded as the Paladin. I do miss the activity though.

Aside form that, things have been good. The galaxy has gotten to take a collective breath and things are going back to....What used to be normal. Piracy is on the rise with all the relief convoys moving around so there is still plenty of work to be done. Its not the fate of the galaxy anymore though, and that is a relief.

Quint eyes the item he is working on and takes up a tool and adjusts a few details on the surface.

Holidays are coming up again. Another year is almost gone, been so busy I've hardly noticed. So I've started in on things for the folks back home. The Fleet will be doing its gift exchange again this year so, have to get my name in on that and see who I'm to come up with a gift for. Does add a bit of fun to it all for sure. That keeps the holidays worth it in my opinion.

Anyway, things are going well and I actually find myself looking forward to the day to day things again. So on that happy note I'll have to cut this short. Computer end log.
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Quint enters his station quarters and looks around. The lights are set to dim due to the hour and nothing stirs. He walks in and taps the keys on his desk computer, opening the personal log files playing back the last entry. After hearing it out he taps another key

Computer, new log entry. *The obligatory beep sounds* Been back a few hours and already wishing I'd have stayed on the ship. *Quints stands there a long time then finally speaks* To say its complicated and simple all at once I don't think does it justice. The results, well I suppose are going to be pretty simple, either I'll see her this trip or I wont. Has nothing to do with duty assignment or anything like that, just the kinda troubles normal relationships have. Of course since we're Starfleet, normal just isn't in the vocabulary. Before I get more aggravated that's enough on that.

Before all of that there was a discussion about the raids I've been coming across on patrol. Seems the approach is going to be to try and give Starfleet a personable face in the area s of those relief convoys. Maybe give whom ever is conducting them another option besides piracy. Hopefully before anyone gets killed. So far its been an active attempt to avoid an actual fire fight. They just seem to want to discourage supply shipments to boarder worlds and to the Klingon Empire.

If we can get this under control before people get hurt we should be able to avoid some issues like that of the Maquis in the Alpha Quadrant. That situation got so out of hand that there was no going back easily. It had to become a fight, I'd rather not be using my weapons on a ship full of Federation civilians who survived the Heralds attacks just to feel like the people who have been trying to protect them suddenly see them as the enemy. One shot gets fired at the wrong time and this whole mess could blow up.

Honestly I've had enough of misunderstandings and blow ups for the day. *Quint walks over and pulls out his sketch paper and a few pencils.* Welcome home I suppose. Computer, end log.

The computer beeps and stops the recording as Quint sits on his couch in the dim lighting starting to work on something.
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Quint is laying on his couch staring up at the ceiling with a pondering look on his face.

"Computer, personal log. New entry. *The computer beeps and its synthetic voice tells him its recording* Well been a fun couple weeks. Neema and I have broken up. She avoids me like the plague, that's been its own special hell. The raiders I was investigating turned out to be a very well organized bunch of teenagers and younger kids. Getting help from various outposts who feel the Federation has given up on them. Made a bunch of people REALLY happy when I told them I'd fire on those shuttles next time they hit a civilian freighter. Had to be put out there though, if they realize the risks of what they are doing maybe it'll stop. Seems to have worked for the most part. I don't want to follow through with that, but putting the fear of death into that group we did catch up to was the only way to not have to fire.

Tilly had requested to help out and has since gotten a temporary posting as the Operations Officer on the White Hawk. She's done very well and I think she'll go far if she sticks to it. Although the loss of Captain Eli recently seems to have tempered that a bit. She's not given up that there was a mistake and that he is just MIA however. I've counseled her on not becoming obsessed and thus far...I think she's done alright at it. This will be the test for her, if she can accept it then I'd say she has a future on a Starship. Speaking of obsession, ran across Aurelia earlier today, and she had her nose stuck in maps, chasing her old friend and foe. Apparently I'm not the only one to compare her to Captain Ahab. This is getting seriously outta hand.

Quint lets out a long breath and rubs his face clearly frustrated.

Nothing for it, all I can do is hope she comes up for air before she goes to deep down the rabbit hole. On a brighter note, I delivered Commander Helstone's Gift Exchange surprise. She took it all a lot better than I hopped. Smiled and cried all at once. After showing her all the decorations Mollie and I did for her quarters we had some eggnog and chatted. Nice to get to know whose hiding under that 'Dragon Lady' persona everyone's afraid of. Strong woman, that's for sure and honestly pretty nice. I gave Tilly her gift and she's in love with it. Poor Thea, now she's got a roaming reminder of her girlfriends obsession with old movies.

Then there is the chat I had with Shan. He had given me a very fun coffee mug for the exchange. Apparently he and Eli were friends, and he got him a similar one as well. Since he never gave it too him he asked me to take it. What did Shan say? "I think that.....it is best not to be alone if one can avoid it. You should share your mugs with others that you enjoy spending time with." I don't think that poor little guy has really had to deal with a loss like this. I promised him I'd tell anyone I shared a drink with out of those mugs the reason I had them and who they were for. I cant imagine anyone laughing at it. Not if they are smart anyway.

He sits up and looks around room. A suitcase sits by his desk packed and ready to go.

I'll be heading home in a couple days. Traveling with Tilly and Thea since we are all going to Earth for the holiday. I invited them both and Thea's father to the ranch for Christmas Eve, so they can see the fun. Have to see if they turn up. I hope so, it'll save me from explaining to mom why I showed up with out the woman I was explicitly told to bring along. End log.
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Quint stands in the holodeck on Deep Space 13, running a program from home. The interior of a barn, several stalls with horses in each dominates the scene. He is standing in the middle by a fence with a saddle and riding gear sitting on it. A large brown bay horse is standing there as he brushes it down.

Computer, open my Personal Log. *The computer's voice replies the log is open and asks if he wants to make a new recording* I was hoping you'd ask, yes new entry. *The customary double beep follows* Well, I'm a bit behind on these but what the hell. There has been a lot happening. Topping the list, they recommissioned the Paladin. A new Hestia class. Multi vector, most up to date sensor systems, best targeting systems in the fleet. She is something to behold. Currently putting together a Command staff is proving difficult, but I am making ground. I've an XO and a Chief of Operations. There is an applicant for head of Security, and I have an idea to try and get Sin on as a Tac Officer. She's still a Cadet technically but she's been testing out, so might be able to get her on for her field courses and hours. So, waiting on a possible applicant for Science Officer. The new systems on the Paladin will allow us to actually catalog phenomena pretty well so we can do some constructive work while on patrol.

Quint walks around to the other side of the horse, continuing to brush as he talks.

On the other side of things, life just keeps on with its endless march. I've been speaking with Katriel as both friend and Counselor about things with Neema. *He lets out a long breath and rests his forehead on the back of the horse for a moment. Silence fills the air a few moments, until the horse turns its head back towards him and nickers.* I know. Its life. At some point it happens. I suppose the best image of that was Aurelia and Buchana's wedding. Suicide bomber tries to end it, gets killed, wedding happens anyway like nothing happened. I keep a part of me hoping things will go back to how they were. For now though, I suppose I just follow the course.

*He stands up and finishes brushing the horse down*

Had an offer for coffee, nothing more than the idea of maybe a second, or a bite to eat. So, I'm going to take it and see. To quote the offering lady, baby steps. I do admit there is a bit of trepidation if only because of how close I am to her situation. Worried about keeping the peace still I suppose. Katriel would be trying her best not to laugh at me at this point I'm sure. On the note of her, *Quint laughs some* we had a chat about how I usually am with people. She admitted she wasn't fully sure I considered her a friend simply by how social I was with most anyone she'd seen me with. I told her I have been honest about that, she made me shake on it that if I ever disagreed with her I was to voice it. *He laughs again and leads the horse to its stall.* Computer, end program and log.
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((More just a recording of Quint's trip to the Holodeck to run a program.))

The familiar spacious interior of Quint's family horse barn flashes to life as he enters the holodeck. As he walks past the stalls he scratches the nose of a large Palomino who sticks her head out nickering quietly. "Hey Argo. No, no one to play with today." he says as he moves past. Passing three more stalls and coming to a stop at the last one. Leaning on the door he looks in at the dual colored paint that has her nose against the back corner of the stall. He frowns some as he looks in, "You've got a long way to go don't you Shadow?" The horse turns and looks back at him then half turns towards the stall door stretching her nose out sniffing at him, but coming no closer.

Quint reaches his hand in, holding a small alfalfa cube between his fingers. "I know. Its a long way back to getting better. We both have to walk it though, so might as well do it together."

Shadow deftly plucks the cube from his fingers and munches it down. Stepping just a little bit closer sniffing for a second, the black and white coloring becomes more apparent in the lighting. Her hazel eyes, typical of the breed, twinkle just a small bit, as if the horse is touched by the attention. Quint retracts his hand a bit, forcing her to step a bit closer until her head is at the stall door. She is promptly rewarded with another cube, and a careful scratch on the side of the neck.

"See its OK. I wont hurt ya." Quint says, speaking quietly. Shadow's ears twitch some as he talks, and the horse looks out of the stall door for the first time leaning over to nicker at the other horses. Several of them responding back earning a whinny from Shadow and a quiet laugh from Quint.

"Alright girl, lets see how you move." Quint reaches up with a thin rope and carefully drapes it over Shadows neck. The horse tenses and lifts her head, ears pinning back. Quint takes a careful step back but leaves the rope on the horses neck. "Easy, I'm just gonna take you to the round pen. Get you some room." He carefully opens the latch on the stall door, and steps back as Shadow quickly steps through. Pulling against the rope, as Quint digs his heels in some. "No you don't." he grunts.

Shadow's ears are pinned back as she leans back against Quint's hold on the rope, the horse easily pulling him some. Quint's experience serves him well in this case as he stays low, knowing as long as he keeps pressure against her head she cant do a lot to him, just yet. The stand off holds a few tense moments longer as Quint eventually lets some of the pressure off, Shadow immediately pulls back, and Quint puts the pressure back on. The tug of war continues like this till finally Shadow doesn't pull when Quint lets up some. Quint lets up a bit more and the two eventually just stand looking at each other. "Alright girl, lets make friends huh?"

Quint takes a chance and lets one hand off the rope and pulls another cube from his pocket. Shadow's ears move a slight bit and her nose twitches, slowly she steps towards Quint. As she does he pulls a slightly on the rope. Guiding her strait towards him as he stands very still. When she reaches the cube he pulls it back till she stands next to him. He lets her eat that one and then carfully steps away form her, pulling slightly on the rope, holding another cube. Making his way to the large round pen, once inside he gives her the treat and then closes the gate.

"Alright, step one, get here. Now time for some exercise." Quint says as he pulls the rope off of Shadow. He pats her on the rump and as she steps away he moves forward and snaps his fingers. Almost as if he is pushing the horse to move with out touching her. This continues as they walk the circumference of the round pen two times. Quint has to pat her rump less and less to keep her going, only snap his fingers and make a clicking sound with his tongue. Quint then steps so he is ahead of Shadow but not in front of her, holding his hand out, quietly "Whoa...Whoa" as he stops her.

After another cube Quint starts to snap his fingers behind the horse again. "Alright, time for a better go." he has to walk less, making a smaller circle for himself as Shadow stays close to the fence, moving at a fast walk as Quint clicks at her. "Good girl...That's its, nice and calm. Just going for a walk." He says quietly, knowing the horse can hear him. Eventually he is barely moving, standing in the middle of the pen as Shadow walks.

Shadow continues to move along the fence, her head down some as she sniffs the ground. After several laps, Quint steps ahead of her and again says 'Whoa....Whoa" Coming to a stop she turns to the center and looks at him. A treat in his hand he motions towards himself "Come here. Its OK" and Shadow steps closer, eager for the treat and to be scratched on the neck.

Quint scratches her as she eats the treat, a quiet smile on his face. "There, see. Its not so bad to trust." He carefully puts the rope on Shadow's neck again, this time with out the tug of war. He nods and leads her carefully back to the stall. Closing the stall door and letting the rope drop, he pets Shadow again and then slips out of the stall. Going over to a closet in the midst of the stalls he comes back with a bucket of corn mix. Hanging it on the stall door, he watches Shadow hungrily dig into the buckets contents.

"We'll get there." Quint says as he watches. After a long bit he makes his way out of the barn, glancing back before ending the program.
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((Another Holodeck trip more than an entry))

The medium built paint horse stands at the hitching post outside of the round pen of the large horse barn. Quint carefully exits the tack room with a saddle and bridle moving towards Shadow. They had worked for a couple of weeks now building trust in the round pen. Shadow was indeed as jittery as any horse Quint had tried to break in his life. Any movement drew her attention, and any loud sound caused her to jolt. She took ground commands perfectly well, so he felt comfortable with moving ahead. He just wondered why she was so skittish. True it was just a hologram but, the personality was based off a real horse.

As he placed the saddle on the hitch post he saw Shadow's head come up, her ears perked and a loud snort came from her nostrils. She was not backing away but, she clearly did not approve of the saddles presence so near to her. "Its alright girl. This wont hurt a bit. Well it might me before this is over." Quint breathed quietly.

After carefully placing the blanket on her back he watched her look at it and snort at it. Eventually she stopped fretting over it and put her nose back down, sniffing at the rail of the hitch post or the ground alternately. Quint nodded and then slowly and deliberately picked up the saddle. This immediately drew a reaction from Shadow, and she started to pull against the rope. Quint stands there waiting, knowing eventually she will either get curious or tired, and after a few minutes the tension on the rope slacked and she nudge at the saddle, sniffing it over.

Quint then smoothly steps up closer and with a single motion places the saddle on her back. Again her head comes up, ears twitching, eyes large, and her nostrils open wide. "Whoa" Quint repeats softly, calmly, while staying against the horse's side. After a few tense moments of prancing Shadow calmed, eventually just standing, her head was still up but, she was no longer prancing. Quint quickly took advantage of the calm and hooked the cinch and carefully tightened it. He stepped back and patted her neck for a bit, then took the rope in hand to lead her inside the round pen.

Once inside the pen, with the gate closed behind him he put the rope over her neck and tied the loose end to her halter. "Alright girl, on the rail" Quint said in a calm clear voice. He smiled as Shadow obeyed and with a click of his tongue she started out walking. Time passed and Quint had sent SHadow around both directions at a walk, trot and even a short lope. It was time though, the next test, sitting in the saddle. This he reminded himself is usually where things would go sideways. Literally and figuratively.

After calling her to into the middle of the pen, Quint carefully steps to her side and puts his hand on the saddle horn. Once his left foot is in the stirrup he lifts himself up and swings his right leg over her back. Putting himself square in the saddle, he is able to feel how keyed up Shadow is. Shadow immediately starts to walk, as if trying to get away from him, which Quint expected. "Whoa Shadow....Whoa, you're ok...Whoa" he quietly intones.

It did not help, as Shadow bolted to the side, then the other, her speed and agility showing in what would be a graceful, fast dance. If it were not for the rider, clearly not thrilled with any of it. Quint held on with his legs and seat, moving his body with her's as he grew up learning. Shadow pranced the area of the round pen, Quint holding his place all the while, "Easy girl, just relax."

Eventually, the work seemed to catch up to her and Shadow eventually starts to walk and then stop and stand. Quint lets out a calm breath and a sigh of relief, "Ok then....Here we go this isn't so" he never finished the sentence as Shadow instantly ran towards the fence and at the last moment seemed to duck and turn away, sending Quint into the railing with a thud. Quint bounced off the fence and then hit the ground landing in a cloud of the dust and dirt. Shadow trotted away, her tail and head up, snorting all the while.

Quint rolls to a sitting position, looking where Shadow went. "Alright smart ass." he muttered while slowly standing up, that one hurt a bit. After a stretch he walked after her, eventually getting his hand on her rope, stopping her and getting control again. He decided to put her on the rail from the ground again, lunging her in both directions for a fairly decent amount of time. Again calling her to the middle, and mounting up. This time, she does not prance about, or argue. She snorts at him but little else, earning a sigh of relief from Quint, as he starts the process of teaching her first commands from saddleback.
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Quint enters his quarters tossing his towel into the back of the chair nearest the door. He proceeds to pull off his workout gloves , tossing them to the same place. Standing there a few moments after the door closes he just stares off out the main window. When he speaks his voice is quiet.

Computer, new personal log entry. *Two Beeps and the Computers bland voice calls out "Recording ready"* Well, can't say it's been easy. I've followed what Katriel asked and I've stuck to what I promised Ne...Fleet Captain Perim. Even, according to some, making progress putting it all behind. I still feel twisted inside when I run across her. I've managed though. Not saying anything not getting mixed up in things and then..Coby.

He came by as I was doing one of my work outs. Started off asking about the hunting trip Matt has been trying to get the three of us on. Only a ruse. He was there to ask about her. Not that I hadn't figured that part out. He's actually kinda easy to read. He's in the spot I was some months back. Having to sort out what she meant, and what she did to you. Asked me what I thought of her when I first met her, he said she seemed kinda dull. Hardly the truth, and I called him on it. Again he went around it, eventually asking me which version of her I fell for. *Quint lets out a long breath staring at the ceiling.*

Not a helpful question. It's alright though....It doesn't matter. As I told him, it's long since none of my affair who is chasing after her. I don't want to care either. I can't care.

Paladin is due for a long tour here soon so that should be just what I need. The patrol is set to take us along a majority of the border and past a few only partially cataloged planets and phenomena. I think we will make use of the equipment on board and take a peek. On a positive note, my brother happened to be in the area, and so he stopped by. Finally got tired of teaching in Daystorm, now he's out here as part of an Exploration program. Testing a bunch of new gizmos.

Its great to see him, and I kinda hope they decide to operate in the area. Less strain trying to stay connected to home when family is around. In other news, talking about stress, seems it got to Sin. She took off while we were out on patrol. I guess, she's out hunting what she wants. Good for her. So apparently is Thea. Sometime back she resigned and went back to Earth, making music again. I think I'll send her a message and ask for a signed copy of her next work. Anyway, I need to get cleaned up. Not that I've got plans but, I spent a couple hours running that program, I stink. Computer, End log.
4 Likes
Quint is sitting on the couch in his quarters, feet propped on the coffee table and a sketch pad balanced against his knee. In the background is playing 'Shadows' an old favorite of his on violin.

Open personal logs, new entry. *The computer beeps and calls out that it's recording* So, woke up sore Sunday evening, not overly sure why, probably just over did my work out. That's been known to happen lately. Anyway, woke up with this odd symbol in my head. After a couple hours sketching it I finally got it out of there. Talked to Captain Lauren at the cantina when I was scribbling at it. She said it kind of looked familiar to her but she couldn't place it. It's long since been tossed to the recycler, so good riddance. Chatted the rest of the evening about art and horses, with Captain Lauren and Commander Keth. After they left Coby stepped over and tried to start up a conversation about drawing, it was a short chat.

Quint sets his pencil down and grabs his nearby drink to take a sip. He then stares at the page for a few moments, before putting the drink down and taking up the pencil again.

Towards evening on Monday I got a message from Earth, from the Vulcan ambassador's office. Turns out Ambassador T'Nullse wished for me to attend the memorial services this year. Certainly not the kind of invitation you say no to. So, had to call in a favor and catch one of the ships going back to ESD via Transwarp. Not the worst ride I've had, not the best either. Anyway, this would be the first time in thirteen years I'd gone. I can say it was good to see the old team again, and I have to admit, the service is very nice. The public accounting still tells a very different story of what happened. I'm still not sure how I feel about that, and apparently it was noticeable to the Ambassador.

He and his wife stepped aside from the others to speak with me about it. Word had gotten back to him that the alteration in my memory had been removed, we spoke at length about that. He had meant it as a form of compassion, not wanting me to carry the weight he knew I would. Maybe it did spare me, I know how much it tears at me now, maybe in combination with the loss of Mark and Hollie, it would have been the end of me as well. I didn't get that choice though. I explained that position to him as well.

We talked about it a great deal, the others were decent enough to give us the space to do so. They are all still under the official impression as well. His wife wanted to understand how I truly felt about it, evidently under the impression humans can't properly explain our emotions because we let them rule us. If it were under any different circumstances I'd have taken offense. However, I agreed to let her see the truth as it were.

I have to say that was a different experience, having a Vulcan mind meld done. I had gotten used to how it felt when Sri would enter my mind while she was helping sort things. This was different though, and I was aware of the trip through my memories. I experienced that day again in full detail, not the recollections that Sri had brought up. The full detail of it all washed over both of us, and in the end she saw how truly devastating it all had been for me. The event, the false memories, the degradation of them, and having the truth told more than a decade later. It took her a good half an hour to speak after it was done. Event then she had to force her voice steady, it wasn't very hard to see. Not that I was about to point it out.

The Ambassador apologised for what had occurred, and we were speaking about possibly leaking the truth eventually. His wife came up and put an end to that however. Her point of view was that to do so would cause larger discredit and shame to good people. In her point of view the three of us were the only ones who needed the truth. I'm not sure I agree, but I also am not the only one suffering in this. They have to put on a smile and say thank you to people who tried to save their son, who believe a lie. I don't know how they deal with it, but I'm not a Vulcan. Just as they didn't know what I've been through, I have no idea what they suffer.

All in all though, it was a good trip. I haven't spoken to most of the team since I left, and it was good to catch up.

Quint tosses the sketch pad on the table and stands walking over to his window. The log is closed with an attachment, the sketch he had been working on. A picture of a memorial plaque, reflected inside are two humans standing with a vulcan boy, a classic family photo pose. Facing it, are two Vulcans dressed in mourning robes, and a Police officer in Class A's, with heads bowed.
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Quint is running a workout program of some kind. Doing speed drills on a wing chun dummy. After a few moments he stops and looks up.

Computer, new log entry if you would. *The anticipated double beep comes on and Quint resumes his drill as he speaks* Seems life just got interesting around here again. Terix is being blockaded by the Fleet, so to keep the Civil war that just opened up there, isolated. Paladin was the third ship on the list for deployment.

Quint's strikes against the dummy come faster then he holds for a moment

The real pain is the recall. Paladin is on Alert status for the week so that not a major issue but, I'm getting crew back from leave rotation and setting up a relay for those who took a long trip off station for their week leave. We will be ready to go in a few hours so I figured I'd get some work outs in.

Quint assaults the dummy again with a series of strikes, kicks, and blocks, moving up and down the presented 'arms'

Came in for a ride yesterday and ran across Aurelia and Rellir doing some Vulcan OVerlord program with swords. They invited me to join and I have to admit, swords are defiantely not my skill set. Yet. *He laughs and then stops again as if thinking about something* That reminds me, Rellir's comment about me being at a disadvantage due to Vulcan's heat and gravity. Computer, adjust room settings to mirror Vulcan gravity on the mat here and room temperature, but raise it slowly.

The computer beeps and responds to the request, Quint shifts his weight a bit and bounces to the balls of his feet.

Okay then, lets see what this does. *Quint sets to work on his drill as he continues* Anyway, it was certainly a fun game, if a bit gruesome. Aurelia certainly got 'kill of the day', one swing and took the head off a huge foe. Poor thing. Anyway I pointed out the sword wasn't my go to weapon and she recommended I speak to S'Tokkr, I think. Said there was no one better for it. So I think after this mess with Terix is over I'll go have a chat.

Quint has to stop after a few more minutes and has worked up a heavy sweat now.

Dang, I may do this more often, I've probably done twice the workout in half the time. Feels good though. Week of this would probably match one month of heavy work. Alright, think I'll shower and go have a drink before going back to the Paladin to oversee final prep. Once more into the breach it seems.
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Quint is sitting in his quarters on the Paladin. Looking out the view port at Deep Space thirteen in the distance, he sips from his coffee mug. He turns and walks over towards a couch and coffee table.

Computer, personal log, new entry *The double beep and familiar synthetic voice respond.* Well, back home from Risa. It's been a long time since I've even felt motivated to make an entry, despite all that's gone on. I suppose I've just not been all that charged to remember what has been going on. Risa was a good refresher though, clean and relaxing, but as usual, I've come back with mixed feelings. I made a few new friends, and...Well a few strides back towards normal. Filed several pages of my sketchbook, so about time to get a new one. There is a certain amount of zen allowed in putting pencil to paper, something I suppose that's been lost over the years.

Quint drops to the couch and puts his feet on the coffee table. Leaning back he looks up at the ceiling for a bit.

I've also came back with Neema still echoing in my head. There was an incident one of the nights, she'd had a particularly stout drink. Katriel went to intercede and I went over to help. Katrield really didn't need it but, I figured it'd best to be on hand. She talked Neema down and took her aside to sober her up, after that she explained what went on. After she was ok I needed a walk, she only said one thing to me, but it was enough. "Why am I mad at you?" Evidently, a happy drunk can't process why they aren't happy when they look at someone who just ticks them off. Amazing what a drunk person will say that they normally keep hid.

Anyway, a good note is that over the course of the RIsa trip, TIlly and Neema seemed to be on the mend as friends. She also asked if she could go with Mortin to visit Kir, see something new so I extended her leave a bit. Tilly came back from Risa with a boyfriend, and they are pretty cute together. Tilly also came back with a job offer apparently, Operations Officer on the USS Oakham. It'll do her career a lot of good and I'm happy for her. Now I just get to sort through applicants for a new Operations Officer. Always a chore.

Katriel and I spent a good part of the other night catching up. Talked about a fair spread of things and in the end, I asked if she thought there wasn't certain parts of my persona that might be best let go of. After we talked a bit, she recommended I keep a record of what came out as I spoke to different people. So, I get to evaluate my conversations for awhile. I'm sure it'll be an interesting read for her.

She also asked if I wasn't being a bit unfair with Captain Mortin. Fair question I suppose but, honestly I don't feel all that motivated to deal with him. That's a certain amount of why I asked her about my personality traits. It's so hard for people to fathom me not being civil to someone.

Quints stands and sets his mug next to the sink. He walks back over to the window and looks out at the station again.

Computer....End log entry.
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Quint is setting at the desk in his station quarters. He is working to put a few things together, seems his shelf of oddies had been overturned. Several of the items seems to have been busted up, and he's effectively gluing them back together.

Computer, open personal logs. *The double beep and synthetic voice announces its ready* So. Home. I've been...a 'quest' of the Terran Empire for a few days or so. Made it home and...I see my counterpart didn't like my decorating choice, or..he's just an ass. I'll go with the latter honestly. He, tossed my place. Looking for information most likely. Things about me he may not have gotten from his....Telepath. *Quint visibly shudders as he seems to recall a part of what happened.* Anyway. He went through my logs, found my various collection of sketches. Even the ones I tucked away. There was also a few messages he sent out. I've got some bridges to mend apparently.

Quint leans back at he lets one item start to dry.

It's...been a challenge. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up back in that cell. With one of them leering over me. I held out as long as I could but, I am no match for a team of telepaths. Between the vulcan and the betazoid I was in trouble. Add to that the physical poundings I got and I was overwhelmed. Seeing....the faces of those here that I saw there....Scares the hell out of me each time. As much as I know it's not them...but it is...and I just. *He lets out a long breath.* Katriel has me doing an exercise to help with the transition. Recalling the things I know about the people here and focussing on that.

Quint stands up and walks over to the shelf putting on item on it and pulling down another, looking it over. A photograph.

The telepath took things from me. I've figured that much out. Some of my memories are...gone. Case in point is this photo. I'm here with two people I'm obviously close too. I checked the computer and its given names for both. I don't recognise them though. So far these are the only people I know I don't recall. So far everyone I've seen on station I've known. I'm not sure what is missing and that scares me. Probably her whole point. I recall her doing it though. Attacking me with images and feelings, memories and fears over and over. While she would take away something she'd watch other memories. Then transfer them to him. Way it seems he's had quite the time here. No one's really been pissed off at me so...I guess he didn't make too much of a stir.

Quint puts the photo back on the shelf and then comes and sits at the desk again.

Happy birthday right? Get beat shot and mentally attacked. Although, I did get something very nice from Katriel. A pair of bookends, carved out of wood to resemble a pair of horses chasing each other. I'm going to have to pick out a few of my more favorite books to display with them. Beylara came by and dropped a gift off as well....That was...awkward. Since it was her mirror who did most of the mental attacks I was sure I was going to wake up...I think I upset her pretty good. She made tracks out of here when I flinched at one point. I think I'm going for a walk. Maybe that will clear my head....as long as I don't see anyone. End log.
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Quint is working at his computer on his desk in the station quarters. There is a cup of steaming tea on the counter that he occasionally takes a sip out of.

Computer, open personal logs, new entry. *The Computer emits its beeps 'Recording'* So life around here is moving on bit by small bit. Beylara has been spending a lot of time here, we've gone for a few rides and she's spent time carefully working with my mind, trying to help me not respond so...negatively to her mental presence. She's taken the fact that her counterpart from the mirror universe did most of this kinda personally. Katriel has also offered an idea of me doing some sort of...focused anger therapy...with Beylara, that she'd mediate of course. Apparently it would be good to be able to let out how I feel at my attacker, I can't really think of anything I'd want to say, do yes, say not so much. A good phaser to that nut's face would be about the only response I feel appropriate. Although, Sedai has yet to steer me wrong so I'll give it a shot.

He leans back in his chair and takes a sip of his tea.

Saw Aurelia, picked on her for a little while the other day. Rellir overheard our chat and asked how I was doing, like most do. She offered us to join her in that holo game she enjoys. Hardly something you say no to. While she and I waited on Aurelia, she reprogrammed the simulation some at Aurelia's request. To have Terran Empire troops in the mix. I should have guessed she was up to something, she even admitted it. Rellir had programed the Terran troops as images of me, well my Mirror self. Still though. On top of that she started it, laughed and left Aurelia and I in there to solve it.

Quint laughs and shakes his head. Setting his drink down he props his feet on the desk and looks out the window.

My medical scans came back as well. Definitely signs of neural trauma, normally associated with telepathic attacks. Hardly a surprise but at least now Katriel will know where we need to go from here. Sooner the better, I need back on duty. This station feels smaller every day. Although, it does give me time to get even with Aurelia. She dumped and ice cube down my back in the lounge, granted I flicked the first one at her, but I didn't score a hit. Have to make up for that.

Computer, end log.
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Quint is sitting at the desk in his quarters, rolling a PADD over in his hands as the record starts.

Well, where to start? Been awhile since I've made an entry, and there is a lot to go over..Or not go over. Depends on the subject matter I guess. First off is things with Beylara. They are good and in a great place but, there are a few complications. Nothing I'll get into but honestly it's forming a shadow despite the light that's there. One step at a time I suppose, only way things sort out, good or ill. She's done a lot to help me and we've come far as a couple. She's seen some pretty terrible aspects of my life and personality, and despite that has stuck it out. So, there is always positive movement right?

Also another high note, got the horses on station for the school. About a week and a half of exploratory learning, and interactions with large animals. So far it's been a success. Kids that came in today had quite the time, and absolutely loved every minute it seemed. Older students will be coming in and we will be discussing evolutionary divergences and adaptations, part of why I asked for the breeds I did. A Friesian, Clydesdale, and an Arabian make up a pretty decent spread of differences between breeds of horses.

Tilly wants to be able to go by and see them, and I figured she would. I told the attendants she'd come by off and on so to go ahead and help her experience the horses. Katriel has also expressed an interest in doing so, and I told her I'd be happy to help. Betazoids and horses have a troubled history, working with Beylara has shown me a few things about it and I think someone with her mental control and want to be a certain way will win out. At least on a calm horse, I'll let her ride Aphrodite, the Friesian we brought. She is rather mellow if a bit haughty, so there shouldn't be an issue. Watching Wings, the Arabian, around Beylara pretty well sold me on NOT letting either of them on that one's back.

Katriel had kind of requested and offered to have a get together, centering on music. Since on her recommendation I learned how to play, she had asked if I'd show her how it's gone. She also offered to share her dabblings in music since I was willing to actually let her hear me play. Sounded fun and I figure why not. There is supposed to be a third party in this but things just haven't lined up....and the two of them have been playing a card game and eating up their hours. Long as it's fun who cares? Things will line up or they won't, such is the way of the galaxy.

Quint looks at the PADD he is rolling over and over again. Letting out a long breath before continuing.

Then there is this, a request from Starfleet Command. To transfer my commission and assume Command of the USS Victory. A recently redesigned Acheron class Starship. The Command crew has recently completed its shakedown tour and is either standing down or transferring to other Commands. A few voices in the ears of the right people from someone has put my name on the short list of prospective Captains. Apparently a favored if the flow of messages is any indication.

I've been in Command of the Paladin since I became a Captain. I enjoy my small close knit crew. The interactions, the comradery, the fact so many know who one another is. She's nimble, fast, strong, and honestly a fine top of the line ship. Who wouldn't want to be in Command of that? It's just really hard not to picture that being the case. On the same token though, I wouldn't be the first Captain to change ships, most typically do in fact.

This new modified class is a Sovereign design, and that comes with a preset collection of issues. Large crew, around eight hundred people, Enlisted and Commissioned Officers. It's a whale, so not exactly a maneuverable ship, more like its name sake, a 'Ship of the Line'. The trade off is it's an advancement. Movement forward and on to bigger things eventually.

I don't know. Truth be told I better get this settled before they go around me and start in on my Superiors here about it. That'll be just peachy. Computer end log.
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Quint is leaning against the frame of the large view port in his ready room on Paladin. The odd assortment of items in this space all neat and tidy in their places. After a long drawn out breath the entry begins.

So, what a week. Station has been in a state of...Grievance? I suppose thats a good word for it, since the death of Captain Freeman. Many people are having a lot of issues with it and taking it very hard, a good testament to how well the man was liked. Personally, I had only interacted with him a few times, and honestly after the first I'm surprised there were others. *Quint laughs a bit and shakes his head.* I didn't know the man on anything approaching a personal level but given the people who held him in high regard, I feel comfortable saying he was the good sort.

I feel a bit bad, at times, around the others who still grieve, who have difficulties with what happened. I suppose I seem a bit callous in my demeanor, as I often do as always, joke, and move on. Make no mistake, I don't take the man's death lightly, in fact I'm infuriated, just not for the reasons the others are sad. To me, this was about the fact that this happened 'HERE' that they came to our home to take life and did! They took one of our own, and the terrible part was it wasn't even their target.

I had mentioned this to Katriel at one point, when she told me the station itself seemed to be full of sorrow. I had said that it would pass, to be replaced with anger. To her an even more useless emotion but, one I think will be billowing soon. I had heard of a meeting to plan a response, that's the first signs of it. When that sorrow and anger finds an outlet, it will be terrible and swift.

He rubs his face and steps away from the view port and looks around his ready room.

There are other things in life right now, a sign it doesn't stop for anything. The Victory will be here by the middle of the week. This will probably be one of my last entries as Captain of the Paladin. I've spoken to a few friends and asked what they thought, and despite asking as a friend I got a bit of 'professional' from each. In the end, I decided to take the offer and will be assuming command of the Victory.

There is a long silence in the room, eventually the computer breaks it "Do you wish to continue?"

Yes, damn but you're needy.

Its strange to say it out loud. I've served here, four years? As Lauren said that's longer than she's been in a command. Maybe that's part of it, all those missions, battles, discoveries....and here I am. Stepping away.

Not that there won't be more of that on the Victory, she's built for longer deployments than Paladin, and honestly I'll probably see less convoy missions. I'm not sure who Starfleet Command will turn the ship over to but, I'm sure they'll take good care of her.

As for life, well Katriel and I went down to the Embassy and finally managed a bit of time with our instruments. She's really been shaken by all of this, and she keeps deflecting. So when she asked to go do it, on a whim..I wasn't about to say no. We went back and forth, tossed some songs each of us knew at one another. Neema turned up as well. We talked a bit about my recent assignment....That was pretty much it.

What happened is bothering her as well, almost more so than I've seen in others. Which only fed to the awkwardness of the silence that would occur. Even as irritated as I am with her, I still feel a sorrow in seeing her that way.

Quint shakes his head and goes to sit at his desk.

Speaking of wounds from the past I ran into a Terix representative at the lounge last night. She seemed pleasant enough and we had a good conversation, learned some about Terix even. Even for Romulans they are bull headed. I can say I have no desire to ever deal with that lot again. That world con implode.
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Quint is sitting at his desk, looking out the station's window watching the ships come and go. He paces a bit, a cloth in one hand and the old colt peacemaker Tilly had gotten him in the other. He carefully polishes the engraved sections of the firearm. Slowly rolling the cylinder the clicks making a tangible, metallic sound, in the otherwise quiet quarters.

Computer, new log entry. *The double beep, so familiar, and yet so alien against the clicking of the gun. 'Recording'* So, back to the station. Be out the better part of a month and change. Missed the Risa trip, missed Beylara, missed the galaxy going crazy.

*Click*

The Federation seems to be having a bit of a crisis developing out here. Governments leaving the Federation, in itself not unheard of or really terrible. However, two in as many days? Other independent worlds spinning their own view of events, and people buying it? That's getting a bit unheard of. There are some whispers in the intel wings that there is a possibility of larger events going on. I suppose we will have to see what happens. The station, everyone seems really tense.

*Click*

Add to that, is the issue of the Irreo refugees. Apparently, they are being sent back to their world. A world and a culture that doesn't want them, going so far as to sell eggs of these young as food. Not a pleasant incident by the way. I've heard the distaste for the idea etched in Katriels voice, and that is actually saying a lot. Command shut down the counseling program and as of a few days ago completely restricted access to the children.

*The next click causes a moment of long silence*

I have this sudden suspicion Neema has no intention of doing this exactly as the Echomet are asking. Tau has been sent off station, he's been a very big figure in protecting these kids...*Click*

Thats enough of that. Onto other unpleasantness. Tilly got a hard check yesterday as well. Her homeworld left the Federation as well. Has Republic Scientists being questioned about the recent death of their leader. More political machines turning. This whole sector is losing its collective mind.

I'm making arrangements to have Victory on station more often. With everything going on I want to be around to help. Not coming back to find friends in Med bay again.

*The cylinder clicks again, Quint tosses the cloth aside and spins the cylinder quickly, the clicks making one long buzzing sound till the double click of the hammer stops it.*

I'm done sitting things out.
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Quint is sitting in his chair, feet propped up on the back of the nearby couch, sketch book on his lap, and pencil working.

Well, I survived my first couple days as Acting XO for Neema. Station hasn't exploded yet, so I'll say it's a win so far. Most of the folks I've talked to have been quite pleased with me covering the vacancy till Command sorts everything out. Myself I'm still not sure this was a smart move, but it's what she needed, and she asked so..here I am.

Mostly I've been running interference for her, taking on meetings that are more protocol than substance. As well as sitting through a few that don't technically need an Admiral there. Anything that I think she might need to weigh in on I can postpone for the couple minutes I need to get her there. We meet twice a day to brief one another so it's actually not hard to get her opinions for meetings that are coming up later.

He turns the book some and changes the angle he is shading, reaching down to grab a shader he begins adding some depth to what he is working on.

We grab some breakfast in the mornings and go over the day's list and some idle talk. It's a bit like what we used to do together. So, it can get a bit akward for a moment or two.

He gets quiet for a moment, even the shader and pencil stop their work. Eventually he shakes his head and starts again.


Anyway...Speaking of that, Katriel and I got into it pretty well the other night over...Well, a misunderstanding of one another's positions. In the end we sorted it out, and I got told if I don't want to voice something she's pushing on because of who may hear maybe I should think louder.

He laughs a bit to himself.

She's a hell of a friend. Anyway, I thinks it's time to get going. I'm sure the Yeoman will be exiting the turbo lift about now with a new stack of things to get to.
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