Pet Tales

To capture the hilarious/adorable things our critter companions do. Dewey, I expect some of Asshole Cat's best tales here.
And of course, I have my own to share from last night!


My tubby kitty Clom likes to sleep on the bed with us. Usually he sleeps on my side because my SO accidentally (probably) tends to knock him off the bed, while my subconscious is a lot more cat-friendly. In order to preserve our noses (we're both mildly allergic to cats) we enforce 'no higher than the hips' rule.

Last night, Clom came in and woke me up at around 4:40 by walking up to my shoulders. I nudged him down. Repeat, at least five times, before I finally sat up and forced him by my feet with some petting action to encourage him to *stay* there. It didn't work. Repeat. Round two of 'sit still damnit' pettings and I noticed that his tail was about two inches fluffier than it shoulda been.

Clom would not sleep and his tail Would Not Defluff (I even tried to move him to his prize location between SO's feet (which SO rarely tolerates, but he was willing to in this case) until I had cuddled and petted his hyper-affectionate arse for a full half hour.

I'm paying for it now in tiredness. <_< This morning he has sought out my lap every time I've been roughly seated (even at inopportune times, like when I knelt down to pick something up,) so evidently he really appreciated me chasing away the monsters under the bed.


TLDR; My cat had monsters under the bed last night and asked needed me to fix it.
Haha. I think your cat is awesome just from the other stories you've told about him. As soon as I saw this thread, without even knowing what it was (though was easy to guess) I instantly though, "Gee, I wonder what trouble Asshole Cat has caused lately."

He is staying with my mother while I'm deployed, but from what she says he isn't too bad. He apparently likes to sit in the sink and nothing outside of piling it with dishes keeps him out. Sits there for hours and watches her dogs (who are significantly bigger than mine) walk around. There have been a couple times where he managed to turn the faucet on and it remained on while my mother and step father were at work all day.

He is also being accused of flipping her dogs food dish on several instances. Though, he has never been spotted doing it but the issue of flipped dog food all over the kitchen wasn't present until he arrived. But they're dogs, so its not like they care if the food is on the ground any ways.
My cat is dead, and has been for some time, but... at the time of her death of old age (Yes, the cat died of old age. Didn't run away, or was put down. It just got old, then died.) it had assumed the following title:

Her Royal Majesty, Princess Momma'-Kitty Bright-Eyes Fussy-Pants the First.


Mother of two litters, from the barn cat named, Barn Cat. Survivor of a hole to the stomach, via self treatment, which she gained from her last cat fight at the age of 76 (15 Human). Survivor of three moves, despite a horrendous and rational fear of car travel. Expert house canary hunter and cage opener.

Found as an abandoned stray in a bag in a country ditch, a White Longhair Angora with Heterochromia iridum (the trait most likely for her ditching by a breeder). Died 22 years later at the cat age of 104.

"Let it be known that no Man would be master of her fate."
..that. ...is a boss cat.
My SO has this itty bitty wooden stool from when he was a kid-- it was hand made, with his name in pull-out letters on the top, so we've kept it. I use it in the kitchen because I'm short (shuddup) so it has a perpetual spot by the glass porch door. One day I caught Clom sitting on it to stare awkwardly out the door, because the framing part on the door just baaarely blocks his view. So I moved it in front of the door for him.

It has evolved now where it's not uncommon to see him perched on it, directly in front of the door, staring out like a sentinel, or spawled across it, barely fitting his kitty flub.

Sometimes I'll forget to put it back, and sometimes he'll pace that spot until I do.

At any point, I can make him sit on it by setting his two front paws on top of it.

Oh, Clom.
THESE LITTLE CRITTERS ARE M YBABIES

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FYI those little guys will try to steal AN ENTIRE SANDWICH and drag it to a hiding spot. Yes. They do not bite off small pieces. They want the whole thing.
Ooooh my goodness, I am incredibly jealous.

I don't know much about rats- what breed are they?
They are both Supreme Rexes, I can take a few more pictures showing off their curly whiskers and crinkled butts! their hair is curly!
SUPREME. REXES. Oh my lord, I just cracked up. Also 'crinkled butts' caused a snerk.
Hahahah, yes, doesn't that name sound SO INTENSE?!
aaand now im calling them little supreme rexes and covering them in infinite kisses
Cool Fact: Rats are ticklish on their tummies, and they laugh, but we cant hear it because its so high pitched
You mean 'emit noises of extreme distress'. Because that's what I do when tickled. >: |
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_oKQ9Dzitc
Totally noises of distress. And they're only following the hand to, uh. ...keep an eye on it. >_>

<_<

(That's adorable.)
The story is about a week or 3 old, but when I was finishing up some work for college (Read having a massive work session) I thought I'd let my beasties have a wander round, of course the one of the foreground, Alfie seemed more interested in trying to get into places where he shouldn't go.
The one in the backgorund, Kaida, just sat there like a good lizard.

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oh my god cute babies
..want.