"Skorinth Rezak! There's something you must know."
"What is it?"
"You know how we have been contacting an alien race, right?"
"No, I don't."
"Well, this alien spe- wait, you don't? How could you not know?"
"I haven't gotten any reports."
"We've been sending reports though."
"Must've gotten sent to the spam folder."
"You're saying that reports about the first contact with an alien species in a thousand years was sent to your spam folder."
"Must've looked like clickbait."
"Must've looked like clickbait!? This is one of the most important things to happen to us and you're saying you don't know about it because it sounds like some clickbait news article!?"
"Exactly. Now, what did you wish to tell me about these aliens."
"Well, we've got a visual on them, and..."
"And what?"
"Uh, well, you see, they don't have wings."
"That's understandable, several creatures on Aurking don't have wings, why can't aliens not have wings?"
"They also only have two legs."
"There are a couple biped here, I fail to see the problem."
"The problem is that they have two limbs dangling out of their torso."
"Are these used for movement?"
"No, they just are. They dangle there doing nothing."
"Why would they just have dangling limbs?"
"Some scientists are suggesting they use them to hold things."
"Like tentacles?"
"Exactly like tentacles."
"Then what do they do with their tentacles?"
"They speak with them."
"Like, with sign language?"
"No, they have one short tentacle in their mouth that they use to make sounds."
"Then what do they use their [unintelligible] for?"
"They don't have one of those."
"So you're telling me we're communicating with a blind bipedal alien that uses only two impractical dangling limbs to do stuff, and speaks using a single tentacle that makes noise."
"Yes, but they're not blind."
"How can they see without sonar?"
"They have eyes."
"Eyes?"
"Eyes."
"Like an Aljack?"
"Like an Aljack."
"Why are we even dealing with these creatures? How did anyone even realize their sentient?"
"We're still working on that Skorinth. I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
"Good, good. I'll...try to process this information."
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"Skorinth Rezak! I've got more information for you on the aliens!"
"Very well, go ahead."
"You asked me how anyone realized they were sentient."
"Yes, I did, you don't need to remind me of that. I'm not senile yet."
"Yes, of course, well, turns out they found us to be sentient first."
"How'd they find us?"
"They kind of just stumbled upon us."
"Stumbled?"
"Yes, stumbled, they just happened to be walking around our planet and saw one of us."
"Look, I know they might've said they stumbled upon us, but that stuff just doesn't happen. I mean think about it, what are the chances that they would visit a random planet, go to a random place on the planet, and just happen to find us?"
"Well, if we first assume that the range of star systems they can explore is equivalent to-"
"The question was rhetorical."
"What if I want to answer it?"
"No."
"But-"
"No, I don't want to hear your long explanation for a pointless answer."
"But the answer's not pointless, it reveals that they must've searched for Aurking, and not randomly gone to this planet."
"Exactly! Now, tell me, how did they know about us?"
"They didn't."
"But you just said they did."
"No, I said Aurking."
"Tell me, what planet are we on?"
"Aurking."
"Do we live on any other planets?"
"No."
"So when we talk about Aurking, we can talk about us, correct?"
"No, they searched for Aurking because it had the possibility of life."
"If they were just searching for life why did they come to our planet?"
"Just because it had life, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Look, this isn't what I was coming to talk to you about. I was going to tell you how they found us."
"Alright then, go ahead."
"They found us by spotting us in the jungle."
"And that's when we engaged a dialogue."
"Not...exactly. The one to engaging them was shot and killed."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, so his hunting partner went to attack them."
"Naturally, is that when the contact was established?"
"No, they shot him as well."
"What!?"
"Yeah, so, they sent another team to the Southern Pole."
"Alright, and that's when they established contact."
"No."
"Let me guess. They shot a hunter."
"They shot a hunter."
"Out of self defense?"
"He was clearly killing an Aljack to prepare as an offering of peace."
"Did he live?"
"Yes, they just stunned him."
"So, when did they establish contact?"
"They sent a team to the planet that happened to find the funeral for the two hunters."
"And that's when they made contact."
"Well, no. They only met one Korlackress and then they fled."
"But that's when they found out we were sentient, right?"
"Yes."
"And after that we took our ship out of hiding and launched into space because we no longer had to keep it hidden from other sentients."
"Yes."
"Alright, good. Now, I want you to report back to me about why their policy is to shoot first, ask questions later."
"Yes sir."
"Very well, go ahead."
"You asked me how anyone realized they were sentient."
"Yes, I did, you don't need to remind me of that. I'm not senile yet."
"Yes, of course, well, turns out they found us to be sentient first."
"How'd they find us?"
"They kind of just stumbled upon us."
"Stumbled?"
"Yes, stumbled, they just happened to be walking around our planet and saw one of us."
"Look, I know they might've said they stumbled upon us, but that stuff just doesn't happen. I mean think about it, what are the chances that they would visit a random planet, go to a random place on the planet, and just happen to find us?"
"Well, if we first assume that the range of star systems they can explore is equivalent to-"
"The question was rhetorical."
"What if I want to answer it?"
"No."
"But-"
"No, I don't want to hear your long explanation for a pointless answer."
"But the answer's not pointless, it reveals that they must've searched for Aurking, and not randomly gone to this planet."
"Exactly! Now, tell me, how did they know about us?"
"They didn't."
"But you just said they did."
"No, I said Aurking."
"Tell me, what planet are we on?"
"Aurking."
"Do we live on any other planets?"
"No."
"So when we talk about Aurking, we can talk about us, correct?"
"No, they searched for Aurking because it had the possibility of life."
"If they were just searching for life why did they come to our planet?"
"Just because it had life, I guess."
"You guess?"
"Look, this isn't what I was coming to talk to you about. I was going to tell you how they found us."
"Alright then, go ahead."
"They found us by spotting us in the jungle."
"And that's when we engaged a dialogue."
"Not...exactly. The one to engaging them was shot and killed."
"Ouch."
"Yeah, so his hunting partner went to attack them."
"Naturally, is that when the contact was established?"
"No, they shot him as well."
"What!?"
"Yeah, so, they sent another team to the Southern Pole."
"Alright, and that's when they established contact."
"No."
"Let me guess. They shot a hunter."
"They shot a hunter."
"Out of self defense?"
"He was clearly killing an Aljack to prepare as an offering of peace."
"Did he live?"
"Yes, they just stunned him."
"So, when did they establish contact?"
"They sent a team to the planet that happened to find the funeral for the two hunters."
"And that's when they made contact."
"Well, no. They only met one Korlackress and then they fled."
"But that's when they found out we were sentient, right?"
"Yes."
"And after that we took our ship out of hiding and launched into space because we no longer had to keep it hidden from other sentients."
"Yes."
"Alright, good. Now, I want you to report back to me about why their policy is to shoot first, ask questions later."
"Yes sir."
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"Skorinth, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"We have no other option, it must be done."
"Surely we can adapt. We can reclaim what we lost, the Korlackress Empire could rise again, stronger than before."
"No, we can't. Our numbers are already on the decline. Maybe the Researcher's Guild can figure out a solution to stabilize us, but that must be our sole focus."
"Fine. We'll send the message to the Federation at once. How do you want to word it?"
"Tell them that it is the consensus of the Korlackress government that we shall withdraw from space travel."
"Isn't that rather blunt?"
"What do you mean 'is it blunt'?"
"Well, it's a bit short for a message."
"Fine, fine. Tell them that after a great deal of deliberation-"
"But you came up with this decision in less than an hour."
"They won't know that, come on, let's at least try to make it sound formal."
"Alright, what else."
"After a great deal of deliberation, the Korlackress Empire has found no reason for us to return to being a space-faring empire. Our past thousand years keeping to ourselves has been prosperous, whereas, in the short amount of time we've returned to space, we have had six of our people killed due to the dangers we hoped to avoid, including one of our most important religious heads."
"Skorinth, we can't be sure that Ghadruil is dead."
"He's dead, there's no way around that."
"I see. Well, his insights and experiences with the younger races shall be remembered for millennia."
"That they shall."
"You said there was another message you also wanted to send?"
"Yes, send this one to the navy. Our ships shall all be decommissioned. There will no longer be any vessels capable of flight on Aurking. Instead, they shall be converted into orbital defense platforms."
"Orbital defense platforms?"
"We can't let anyone disturb our peace."
"As you wish. Shall we let the Federation know?"
"We shall. Tell them that they are to spread the word. No vessels are to enter our system, or they shall risk being shot down. We do not wish war, only to be left alone. Tell them that if they so wish, warning buoys may be set up around the system to warn other vessels."
"Very well. Message delivered."
"Good. Now ends our second, and final, space age."
"May the gods reward us kindly for this."
((Alright, that's me wrapping up everything with the Korlackress aka the Spine Snakes. Kepler-42d, or Aurking as they call it, is now to be their only world, cut off from the rest of the galaxy. They tried spaceflight once a thousand years ago, and after making a sizable empire, they suffered great losses in a war and abandoned space. Now after being explored by Starfleet they tried it again, though, after the loss of the Gainsborough with one of their high priests on board, they have decided that they should stick to isolation. That's the brief story of it. If I ever return, maybe I'll pick them up again.))
"We have no other option, it must be done."
"Surely we can adapt. We can reclaim what we lost, the Korlackress Empire could rise again, stronger than before."
"No, we can't. Our numbers are already on the decline. Maybe the Researcher's Guild can figure out a solution to stabilize us, but that must be our sole focus."
"Fine. We'll send the message to the Federation at once. How do you want to word it?"
"Tell them that it is the consensus of the Korlackress government that we shall withdraw from space travel."
"Isn't that rather blunt?"
"What do you mean 'is it blunt'?"
"Well, it's a bit short for a message."
"Fine, fine. Tell them that after a great deal of deliberation-"
"But you came up with this decision in less than an hour."
"They won't know that, come on, let's at least try to make it sound formal."
"Alright, what else."
"After a great deal of deliberation, the Korlackress Empire has found no reason for us to return to being a space-faring empire. Our past thousand years keeping to ourselves has been prosperous, whereas, in the short amount of time we've returned to space, we have had six of our people killed due to the dangers we hoped to avoid, including one of our most important religious heads."
"Skorinth, we can't be sure that Ghadruil is dead."
"He's dead, there's no way around that."
"I see. Well, his insights and experiences with the younger races shall be remembered for millennia."
"That they shall."
"You said there was another message you also wanted to send?"
"Yes, send this one to the navy. Our ships shall all be decommissioned. There will no longer be any vessels capable of flight on Aurking. Instead, they shall be converted into orbital defense platforms."
"Orbital defense platforms?"
"We can't let anyone disturb our peace."
"As you wish. Shall we let the Federation know?"
"We shall. Tell them that they are to spread the word. No vessels are to enter our system, or they shall risk being shot down. We do not wish war, only to be left alone. Tell them that if they so wish, warning buoys may be set up around the system to warn other vessels."
"Very well. Message delivered."
"Good. Now ends our second, and final, space age."
"May the gods reward us kindly for this."
((Alright, that's me wrapping up everything with the Korlackress aka the Spine Snakes. Kepler-42d, or Aurking as they call it, is now to be their only world, cut off from the rest of the galaxy. They tried spaceflight once a thousand years ago, and after making a sizable empire, they suffered great losses in a war and abandoned space. Now after being explored by Starfleet they tried it again, though, after the loss of the Gainsborough with one of their high priests on board, they have decided that they should stick to isolation. That's the brief story of it. If I ever return, maybe I'll pick them up again.))
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