“Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.” Alexandria mused while looking over the slow moving repair yard below, as new hull plating began to be applied to the Dallas.
“If what is worth it?” came a reply from Juulla S’Vesta, the Dallas’ XO.
After some careful consideration, Alexandria offered a mournful response “Ah, being out here, doing what we do, sometimes…” her voice trailed off.
Juulla offered a small sympathetic smile “Sometimes, it feels like we face unintelligible threats, that exist only to cause senseless pain.”.
“Yes, exactly,” Alexandria pointed affirmatively to Juulla with her PADD. “How can peaceful explorers fit in with that?”
Juulla shuffled against the wall, folding her arms with a small shrug, “We have to believe it’s the inalienable journey of discovery, to learn from that pain and become stronger from it.” she paused briefly, tilting her head to the side “Is that your condolences?” she nodded towards the PADD.
“Aye, my last one, Ensign Bugh. He’s the one person on this list I didn’t personally knew, and I’m struggling for it, everything I say feels insincere.”
Juulla rubbed the bridge of her nose and stood up straight, moving towards the PADD “May I?”
Alexandria nodded and turned her PADD for Juulla to see.
DRAFT MESSAGE
To: CMDR Bugh, Vaughan; CMDR Bugh, Liam
From: CAPT Holmes, Alexandria
Subj: Condolences; Ensign Eugein Bugh
Dear Bugh Family,
It is with deepest regret I send this message, informing you of the passing of your son.
Eugein was killed in the line of duty aboard the USS Dallas during a hostile boarding action. I remember your son fondly as a person who would always go the extra mile. I will greatly miss his extraordinary spirit on Gamma shift.
May you find the courage and strength to move forward in peace and confidence and in knowing that his was a life well-lived.
Know you are not alone.
//SIGNED//
Captain Alexandria Holmes
Commanding Officer,
USS Dallas
“Oh.”
“I know that sound, Commander. I didn’t think it was that bad.”
“Oh, no, it’s not bad… but I see what you are saying. Hmmm. It does lack a personal quality. Possibly not helped by both his parents being in Starfleet. They know what we do.” Juulla tapped at her teeth as she went over the Dallas’ crew roster in her head. “Eugein joined our crew just over a year ago, one of the rotation officers before we departed for Cestus.”
“At the start of the Klingon Civil War… that feels so long ago.” Alexandria mentioned as she began to pull up her logs from the time.
Juulla intervened “Follow me, Captain.” with a polite smile.
As the two officers stepped down from the transporter pad, Juulla led Alexandria to a small section of the eastern Promenade “This was something of a tradition some of us carried over from Deep Space Nine, though the one on DS9 is a bit larger,” Juulla explained as the corridor opened up to an area with a darker carpet “Not that it’s a competition, of course.” she remarked as the long corridor could be seen now by Captain Holmes. Both sides of the corridor were filled with messages and photos, some on paper, but the majority on large panels set into the walls. “These panels were originally installed a few months prior to the Azedi attack. They were designed as a community area to reduce occurrences of graffiti in the habitation ring. When we started to permanently reinhabit the station, this corridor survived nearly untouched and they were used as memorials for those lost in the attack, and then later used to display messages of gratitude as well.”
“Oh Juulla, I had no idea this was here.”
“Well, that’s understandable, you don’t come to the station all that regularly. Even I’ve not returned as often as I’d have liked to.” Juulla states as she leans near one of the panels, starting a query. “One of the Ops team here took over this project once I transferred to the Dallas. Ah here!” she exclaimed as the display flicked over to display the Cestus colony emblem.
“Every station and colony that uses DS13 as a comm hub has one of these boards?”
“Yes, some ships too. I wanted to have one for the Dallas, but it never felt quite right to suggest one. We’re always moving forward and doing so much good. It just doesn’t feel right to dwell on the past there, it’s always so happy and full of life.” Juulla added with a remorseful smile “Usually.” after a brief pause, she continued her search for Ensign Bugh.
Captain Holmes remained silent as she looked across the boards and at the various photos along the walls, offering only a mournful smile in kind to her XO.
“Here we go, one of the gratitude messages from a colonist on Cestus” Juulla brought the message on screen for Captain Holmes to read.
Thank you so much for helping us set up a Racquetball court in the town square, this will help our community immensely. Watch out for some new members in the New Fargo Green Hawks! With another week of training, I’m sure we’ll be unstoppable!
Juulla reached for her combadge immediately. “S’Vesta to Crewman Pearce, do you have a moment?” she moved off to allow Captain Holmes to continue reading alone, with Alexandria mouthing a “Thank you” as she walked off.
DRAFT MESSAGE
To: CMDR Bugh, Vaughan; CMDR Bugh, Liam
From: CAPT Holmes, Alexandria
Subj: Condolences; Ensign Eugein Bugh
Dear Bugh Family,
It is with deepest regret I send this message, informing you of the passing of your son.
Eugein was killed in the line of duty aboard the USS Dallas during a hostile boarding action. Your son was a valued member of the Dallas crew, participating in many shipboard events, and fostering a wide range of events within the ship.
Of particular note, the Dallas has a Raquetball league, which Eugein was instrumental in setting up and running. Indeed, during a relief and supply mission to Cestus, Eugein was able to set up a Raquetball court in his free time. Sport was obviously an important part of his life, and the league aboard the Dallas will be renamed in his honour.
Eugein was primarily assigned to Gamma shift, so I unfortunately was not able to get to know him as well as I would have liked to. However, I remember hearing that your son was seen fondly and as a person who would always go the extra mile. We will greatly miss his extraordinary spirit on Gamma shift.
May you find the courage and strength to move forward in peace and confidence and in knowing that his was a life well-lived.
Know you are not alone.
//SIGNED//
Captain Alexandria Holmes
Commanding Officer,
USS Dallas
“That’s perfect.” Juulla nodded with a smile.
“Thank you Commander, there’s a reason you’re one of the best XOs in the fleet.” Alexandria flashed a smile and slight wink. “I ordered a little something for the Dallas while she’s in for repairs. Life is important, Commander, and it’s important to remember why we keep going, for the ones that can’t.”
“As long as you’re not also expecting me to set up a Dirge choir, Captain.” Juulla joked in return “I do appreciate the panel though. I hope it will serve well for the crew, and remain relatively sparse.”
Alexandria nodded in return while looking over to the Dallas’ scarred hull once more “I just have one more thing to do.” as she walked off towards the transporter pad once more.
The Dallas lights were set to a minimum across much of the ship, with the occasional flash of a gamma welder from further down a brighter lit corridor. Alexandria turned on the memorial panel by the primary mess hall, and inserted an isolinear chip containing the personnel files of the 36 recent Dallas causalities and the 584 Poseidon crew members. With a small smile, Alexandria returned to the transporter room and departed for DS13.