Katriel hummed a little. "I'll concede that Commander Dae's behavior is certainly unexpected at times. And... silly, too, perhaps. But why should that be attributed to being 'crazy'?"
"It's a turn of phrase, Counselor. Probably something considered very human."
Katriel shrugged a little, subsiding.
"Well, nevermind then. Back to you, then, shall we? What were you doing prior to your assignation to Argo? Was the transfer your idea or did Command require it?"
"Well, nevermind then. Back to you, then, shall we? What were you doing prior to your assignation to Argo? Was the transfer your idea or did Command require it?"
"I was fighting Klingons. When we ended up here, the transfer was my idea and Captain Cross went along with it." Sant grins a fond little grin thinking back on her conversation with Cross.
"And who is Captain Cross, exactly?"
Katriel's eyes turned to her PADD, like Cross's dossier might magically appear on it for her, conveniently.
Katriel's eyes turned to her PADD, like Cross's dossier might magically appear on it for her, conveniently.
"Captain Benedict Cross of the USS Formidable. He's also recently transferred to Task Force Argo -- at the same time I did, in fact. He's the human I'm romantically involved with."
"Ah. And how is that going? What's he like, if I may ask?"
"It's been going for a few years now, and we're both still smiling. He's a good man, a decent leader, and extremely loyal to his ship, his crew and those he cares for. He's got a wicked sense of humor when he decides to let it show, but it hasn't been showing much lately. I'm hoping our time here at Argo will help him relax a little."
Katriel's voice turned maybe a smidge dubious. "And this is the reason you chose to transfer to Argo? Because it'd be 'quieter'? I suppose with your ship in retrofitting, that might be the case for now, but do you imagine it always will be?"
"And what is the Formidable's present assignment?"
"And what is the Formidable's present assignment?"
Sant sat up straight, no longer smiling.
"Counselor, in the place where we're from, the Federation had lost the war against the Klingons. What was left of Starfleet was on the run, trying to find a place that the races of the remnant of the Federation could live peacefully in away from the Klingon Empire. After we got here and I got out of sickbay and had a moment to myself, I did the research on possibly getting back. I studied the current state of the Federation here, in this universe and found out that our universe no longer exists. You can find the file under the logs of the Starship Enterprise 1701-D.* Yes, here, with Task Force Argo, life is much quieter in spite of the fact that Starfleet is fighting a multi-front war. I'm one of the lucky ones, Counselor -- I remember a time when the Federation was at peace, and when it's primary goal was to seek out new life and new civilizations. I'm not having issues adjusting to the quiet and dealing with my personal bout of PTSD. The handful of my crew that survived the arrival here though are mostly human, one Vulcan -- they don't have prior lifetimes to fall back on. I am here, sitting in this room talking to you as an example to them so they'll get the help they need."
The trill stood up and took the few steps needed to get from one end of the small office to the other.
She doesn't understand. Betazoids only live once.
Hush. You're distracting her. She can feel what we feel from a distance, and that helps.
She hasn't experienced it. Feeling what we feel and hearing our thoughts is not the same as experiencing it first hand. She can gather information, and learn how to help but she cannot truly understand.
Sant paused and added, "Yes, Counselor. This place is much quieter than where we were. I rather like it here."
She returned to her seat on the couch, and said, "As for the Formidable's Assignment -- Captain Cross spoke to the Commander of the Star Base at the same time I did. We're both here for as long as Starfleet allows us to be."
* OOC Note: See Star Trek the Next Generation: Yesterday's Enterprise.
"Counselor, in the place where we're from, the Federation had lost the war against the Klingons. What was left of Starfleet was on the run, trying to find a place that the races of the remnant of the Federation could live peacefully in away from the Klingon Empire. After we got here and I got out of sickbay and had a moment to myself, I did the research on possibly getting back. I studied the current state of the Federation here, in this universe and found out that our universe no longer exists. You can find the file under the logs of the Starship Enterprise 1701-D.* Yes, here, with Task Force Argo, life is much quieter in spite of the fact that Starfleet is fighting a multi-front war. I'm one of the lucky ones, Counselor -- I remember a time when the Federation was at peace, and when it's primary goal was to seek out new life and new civilizations. I'm not having issues adjusting to the quiet and dealing with my personal bout of PTSD. The handful of my crew that survived the arrival here though are mostly human, one Vulcan -- they don't have prior lifetimes to fall back on. I am here, sitting in this room talking to you as an example to them so they'll get the help they need."
The trill stood up and took the few steps needed to get from one end of the small office to the other.
She doesn't understand. Betazoids only live once.
Hush. You're distracting her. She can feel what we feel from a distance, and that helps.
She hasn't experienced it. Feeling what we feel and hearing our thoughts is not the same as experiencing it first hand. She can gather information, and learn how to help but she cannot truly understand.
Sant paused and added, "Yes, Counselor. This place is much quieter than where we were. I rather like it here."
She returned to her seat on the couch, and said, "As for the Formidable's Assignment -- Captain Cross spoke to the Commander of the Star Base at the same time I did. We're both here for as long as Starfleet allows us to be."
* OOC Note: See Star Trek the Next Generation: Yesterday's Enterprise.
Wouldn't it be nice if I received five credits every time I heard, 'you don't understand'...? Katriel mused privately to herself.
"I ... see," Katriel took a moment or two to parse the information.
"Well, I suppose now it's pretty obvious why higher security clearance is required to access the particulars of your file. I'm sorry, I had no idea. Perhaps this question is just as naive, but... is there literally nothing from that other... existence that you will miss?"
"I ... see," Katriel took a moment or two to parse the information.
"Well, I suppose now it's pretty obvious why higher security clearance is required to access the particulars of your file. I'm sorry, I had no idea. Perhaps this question is just as naive, but... is there literally nothing from that other... existence that you will miss?"
"Not really, no. Everything I care for is here now. People I knew then that have duplicates here are interesting new puzzles to solve -- I wonder if they knew the other me, what differences in their personalities there are, what they've done differently -- but those puzzles can wait. As I'm sure you're aware, when one is ready to move on, one does simply that -- moves on. If we hesitate in our resolve, or look back over our shoulders at "what might- have- beens or what could be" then we'll stumble and loose sight of the here and now. There's a very good reason that the Symbiosis Commission has rules about new hosts of symbionts looking forward and not looking back. We remember our prior lives with fondness, we fall back on past known skills and experiences to help us resolve issues we encounter in the present, but we don't dwell on the past lives or try to connect with former loved ones. To do so opens the door to wallow in self-pity and hinders the growth of both the symbiont and the new host. I'm surprised that races that live only one life do not have rules of that nature, it would be very helpful to them. "
Katriel's watchful gaze remained on Sant's face.
"I can certainly understand the sentiment you're expressing, Captain. Naturally a great deal of the work I do is entailed in helping people to look forward and see what possibilities lie ahead of them, rather than dwelling on potential mistakes that have come before.
"But likewise, I have a great deal of respect for the past experiences that are... formative to who a person is and becomes. And the bolstering effect that positive memories can apply to a person's spirit. And how difficult it can be to leave something that you hold dear behind." The counselor lifted her shoulders in a slight shrug.
"Can you honestly say that you've never been despondent for an extended period of time, unable to look towards the future, or even the now? That you've never wanted to ... give up against all the expectations placed on you, hang the rules that you think you're supposed to abide by?"
"I can certainly understand the sentiment you're expressing, Captain. Naturally a great deal of the work I do is entailed in helping people to look forward and see what possibilities lie ahead of them, rather than dwelling on potential mistakes that have come before.
"But likewise, I have a great deal of respect for the past experiences that are... formative to who a person is and becomes. And the bolstering effect that positive memories can apply to a person's spirit. And how difficult it can be to leave something that you hold dear behind." The counselor lifted her shoulders in a slight shrug.
"Can you honestly say that you've never been despondent for an extended period of time, unable to look towards the future, or even the now? That you've never wanted to ... give up against all the expectations placed on you, hang the rules that you think you're supposed to abide by?"
"I personally, have always looked towards the future. It's a survival thing. Have I wanted to hang the rules? Oh absolutely. But I've lived enough lifetimes to understand that most rules are in place to protect either us, or someone from us. Really, the only rules you can ignore is some of the engineering safety specs because they're vastly over-stated and written for no-brainer morons. But -- to be honest, Ada did come to a point where she was completely despondent and wanted to die. She was caught in the crossfire on Betazed when the Klingons overran the planet. The Sant Symbiont was lucky to survive that one."
"Fair enough."
For a moment or two longer, Katriel maintained that thoughtful look on her face, before she turned her eyes to her PADD to make a notation or two.
"So. Do you think you could tell me what ... you consider to be your greatest accomplishment as a Starfleet officer? In this lifetime, of course."
For a moment or two longer, Katriel maintained that thoughtful look on her face, before she turned her eyes to her PADD to make a notation or two.
"So. Do you think you could tell me what ... you consider to be your greatest accomplishment as a Starfleet officer? In this lifetime, of course."
Sant chuckled.
'Understood -- I'll keep it to *this* lifetime."
Is that fair? I don't think that's fair.
Shut up.
"I could list the battles I've won this time around, but that's really all part and parcel with what comes with being a Starship Captain. Actually getting that billet-- becoming a Captain of a starship -- is a very big thing. It's a first for the Sant Symbiont. What I personally think I've done that deserves kudos is getting my crew here, to this time and this place, and have as many alive as are still alive. Here we can grow and achieve and live the ideals of the Federation. We can explore and discover and live our lives in the relative safety and confidence that what we fight for and what we try to achieve are things that are right and good. And my personal favorite -- I talked Starfleet into giving the Indomitable a refit rather than scuttle her."
'Understood -- I'll keep it to *this* lifetime."
Is that fair? I don't think that's fair.
Shut up.
"I could list the battles I've won this time around, but that's really all part and parcel with what comes with being a Starship Captain. Actually getting that billet-- becoming a Captain of a starship -- is a very big thing. It's a first for the Sant Symbiont. What I personally think I've done that deserves kudos is getting my crew here, to this time and this place, and have as many alive as are still alive. Here we can grow and achieve and live the ideals of the Federation. We can explore and discover and live our lives in the relative safety and confidence that what we fight for and what we try to achieve are things that are right and good. And my personal favorite -- I talked Starfleet into giving the Indomitable a refit rather than scuttle her."
"What did that entail, exactly, getting your ship and crew into this time? If you're at liberty to say?"
"Honestly, I'm an Engineer, not a Scientist. What I do know is that a combination of getting rammed by a Klingon ship, combined with us trying to follow the Formidable into a Warp Conduit is what got us here. What process the Formidable used to open that Warp Conduit, I don't know. I do know they got here first."
Sant shrugs.
"I'm sure it's in the logs that Starfleet took custody of, not long after our arrival."
Sant shrugs.
"I'm sure it's in the logs that Starfleet took custody of, not long after our arrival."
"Was your ship so damaged that scuttling would've been the more practical option? Why did you request refitting instead?"
"There wasn't much left of her, to be honest. Why did I request it? Have you ever heard the term "Married to my ship"?" Sant sighed a little, tugged on her left earlobe and then leaned back on the couch.
"I couldn't leave her in the condition she was in. She's gotten me and my crew through more than I could ever hope for. She's a well built little ship, and I don't care what new-fangled designs Starfleet comes up with, there's no replacing the dear, beloved Sovereign Class."
"I couldn't leave her in the condition she was in. She's gotten me and my crew through more than I could ever hope for. She's a well built little ship, and I don't care what new-fangled designs Starfleet comes up with, there's no replacing the dear, beloved Sovereign Class."