Ramblings of a V'tosh Ka'tur

Crystyl_ · July 23, 2016, 12:00am

"Personal log stardate 92557.7; Commander Keelah Se'lai recording..."

Keelah's Song:

"Personal log stardate 92557.7; Commander Keelah Se'lai recording..." Keelah began as she paced back and forth across the freshly laid carpet of her new quarters,

"Our months of hard work have today paid dividends as we finally prepare the Dawnstar for her first trip out of drydock. It's hard to believe that when I first arrived at Utopia Planetia they were estimated a 6 month delay to completion. I see now why Command insisted I begin my commission as Executive Officer early - honestly I sometimes wonder how human engineers ever accomplish anything. They should certainly not require a field officer's aid to bring a warp core online. Still, I can not deny the logic in my assignment. My experience serving aboard front line ships has allowed the Dawnstar a unique opportunity in being primed beyond specifications for optimal performance on deep space assignments." she pauses for a moments contemplation and lets out a faint sigh before continuing whilst pacing back and forth across the room,

"I must confess, I can not deny a strong feeling of pride at our accomplishments with the Dawnstar - it feels... good to be back serving on board a starship after my... extended leave. But I must maintain my vigilance - now more than ever - it's hard enough to masquerade as a 'normal' Vulcan at the best of times, let alone when surrounded by all new faces - not least of which being my new Captain. I certainly do not want to give him any reason to doubt his newly promoted first officer purely from any misconception about how Vulcan's 'should' be."

Keelah turned towards her bedroom and eyed her meditation lamp sat on a table by the door, it had been presented to Keelah by her mother... the Admiral, the day she first left to join Starfleet Academy and had not been lit once since that day. Keelah approached the lamp and gently ran a slender fingertip across it's cold surface as she continue her log entry,

"What do think mother, is it really too soon for my return to duty? For the first time since that fateful day I find myself doubting my own strength and wondering if you were right; what if it was too traumatic for one such as me to deal with - losing one's betrothed in a core breach... One that I could have prevented had I only been on duty!"

She takes a moment to regain her composure as she feels her eyes begin to well up, "It has been considerable time since those events. But did I make a mistake pursuing a career in Starfleet after all that?" She wipes a stray tear from her cheek and lowers her head into the palm of her hand whilst the other rests gently atop the lamp,

"No, I will not be defined by the events of my past. It worked out alright for you after father passed away after all, so what if I wear my heart on my sleeve and don't suppress my emotions like you? Besides, a lot has changed since you were a young officer - even human's possess a stronger measure of morality now - who's to say they wouldn't accept a V'tosh ka'tur?!" She sighs out loud, "I know, it's not the humans I need to worry about; for all we as a race preach to the rest of the Federation, it is in fact my fellow Vulcan's I must be weary of. Why after all this time do our people still insist on living in fear of their emotions? Have we really lost our way that much...?"

"No!"

She shouts, allowing her strong emotions to surface, "I can NOT believe that... I WON'T!" She takes a calming breath before continuing, "Mark my words Admiral Se'lai, I WILL prove you wrong; you will see that there IS a place in society for the V'tosh ka'tur - in Starfleet AND on Vulcan!"

Intercom Chimes overhead

"Attention all hands, this is Captain Forresster; prepare for imminent departure. Senior staff to the bridge."

Keelah stares directly ahead at her reflection in the mirror - deep into her reflected eyes - before tugging her tunic straight and making her way to the bridge to greet her new CO.

As Keelah makes her way down the long corridor towards the turbolift, she observes her fellow shipmates all rushing about as they prepare for their maiden voyage. The tension in the air was tinged only by an overwhelming air of excitement and anticipation, which Keelah deeply shared. Above the murmur of the crowd, the warp core could be heard humming to life as it sent a gentle vibration throughout the ships bulkheads. The Dawnstar's nacelles began to glow with a gentle pulse in sync with the thrum of the warp core as her exterior lights flickered on.

Keelah stepped out of the turbolift and on to the bridge that was to become her new home. As she stepped forward the echo of docking clamps beings released echoed around the Dawnstar's bulkheads and a very light jolt could be felt underfoot as the inertial dampeners kicked in. Keelah took her seat at Captain Forrester's side as the helmsman called back, "All moorings report clear, Captain. Awaiting your orders." The entire bridge crew fell silent as the pent up trepidation climaxed with Captain Forresster standing up and raising his right hand to point ahead, "Helm: take us out" An unwarranted wave of cheering and applause washed across the bridge as the Dawnstar's impulse engines hummed into life. The vessel slowly crept forward clear of the drydock before accelerating into a sharp bank ready to warp out of the system. Keelah allowed herself a proud smile as the entire bridge crew reveled in their landmark moment. Their voyage... had begun.

Crystyl_ · August 6, 2016, 12:00am

'The road ahead clear, thanks to the view behind'

"Personal log stardate 92594.9; Commander Keelah Se'lai recording..." Keelah began as she leaned back into the sofa in her quarters. She holds a very relaxed posture with her legs crossed, gently swirling a drink in a stemmed glass with one hand as she stares out at the stars. As she speaks she is tapping her fingernail against the rim of the glass and swinging her raised foot still adorning a high heel to a pacy rhythm in her head.

"Where do I begin?" she mused, "Since my previous entry it seems like so little has happened, yet so much as well" She smiles thoughtfully, "I suppose that is why this is a personal log and not an official report. I have been overwhelmed recently by a feeling of acceptance from the personnel I have met since the Dawnstar arrived at DS13; so many of the people I have met here have welcomed me with open arms and some even beginning to feel like friendships"

She raises the drink to her lips and savors a small sip before proceeding

"It all began a few days ago when talk of holonovels began to pick up around the base. I observed some unexpectedly strong and positive reactions from my colleagues to their experiences and my curiosity grew as a result. Having never succumbed to the enticement of my shipmates aboard the Legacy to join in their 'antics', I found myself revisiting this possibility based on recent observations. My research led me to something labelled a 'spy thriller' where I would be required to take on the persona of one Tess McDonaghan; a human in mid-20th century America, to solve a mystery. What I found once I started this experiment came... as a surprise."

"Setting aside a moment my interesting discoveries about how human females of this era used their sexuality as a tool to achieve their goals, the thing that weighs heavily on me now is what I experienced upon completion of this novel. Tess' investigation had led her to a large social gathering where she had to confront the antagonist. As I entered the building and descended a grand marble staircase towards the gathering the sounds of cheering could be heard ahead - but then came the music. I halted mid stride as I had never before heard such a cacophony of sound."

" 'What was this intoxicating sound?' My attention was immediately drawn and all thought of the novel's story disappeared from my mind. I continued towards the source and entered the room to be overwhelmed by a sea of lively movement. I scanned across the room with fascination at the sight befalling my eyes; the dancing... I had never seen anything like it! I slowly moved around the room, observing the band on a stage at the far side of the room whilst never really taking my eyes off the activity on the central floor."

"And then it happened; one of the characterrs approached me with an extended hand and an inviting smile - I tried to politely refuse at first, but already knew I wanted to be a part of the excitement. I tentatively offered my hand and before I knew it I was twirling my way into the middle of the action!"

Keelah in action:

"Whilst unfamiliar with the style of dance being performed, my background in ballet afforded my a good start in mastery of the form. I could not help but smile and laugh and we swayed back and forth, at first I felt dizzy from being spun around so many times but it soon seemed to fade as the crowd slowly parted around us - apparently now I was the center of attention - and I didn't care! I found myself switching mid dance from one partner to the next, growing more confident and flamboyant with every step. I can not recall a time when I moved in such a lively manner, every bone in my body was dancing, my feet jumped back and forth excitedly whilst my hips swayed and sashayed rhythmically and my arms flayed in excitement. The crowd watched and cheered as they clapped to the tempo of the music, my euphoria rising with each passing moment - this was like nothing I had ever experienced - ballet was so... calculated, but this 'swing' felt entirely unrehearsed, just... natural and fluid yet still, it seemed to retain an air of elegance about it!"

She smiles as she reminisces, sipping again at her drink

"I do not know how long this continued; I was in a state of euphoria I had not experienced in years and hours could have passed as effortlessly as moments. But of course eventually the celebration ended and my attention drew back to finishing the novel. Upon exiting the holodeck I could not shake the music from my head, I was still euphoric and I think I may have actually danced across the promenade towards Swifty's where I wasted no time in enjoying the indulgence to be discovered during this time; Gin and tonic"

Keelah swirled the glass in her hand thoughtfully

"Still high on adrenaline, I soon found myself once again in T'Rara's company, I have quickly come to enjoy our interactions. I do not know how it came to pass exactly, but through the proceeding conversation I came to realize my experience today, and moreso it's effect on me, can mean only one thing; I am finally starting to come to terms with John's death. T'Rara was so supportive and she really inspired me to take the positive result from this revelation. There is still a long road ahead, but now... with a clearer view of the road I have already traveled; that journey seems less daunting and more inviting."

She takes a final sip of her G&T before setting the glass down

"Computer; end log"

Crystyl_ · August 9, 2016, 12:00am

"Stardate 92603.5: It's that time of year again..."

Keelah is in the holodeck, the setting is a typical dance studio with a light laminate floor, brightly lit ceiling and a wall of mirrors. She wearing her gym attire and has her hair tied back in a pony tail as she performs her early morning dance recital - which has recently replaced her ritual mok'bara workout - whilst she is flanked by two holographic dancers who mirror her workout.

// Chirp //

Keelah throws an unwelcoming glance behind her towards the source of the sound - her combadge laid upon a gym back by the mirror - and continues dancing.

// Chirp //

Keelah lets out a weary sigh as she breaks the routine and turns towards the mirrored wall, "Computer; freeze program" she calls as she bends down to pick up the combadge.

The music halts and the performers freeze on the spot.

The combadge sits loosely in the palm of her hand as she taps it with her thumb; still breathing slightly heavily from her workout as she pats her face down with a towel, "Se'Lai." she greets unforgivingly. "Forgive the intrusion Commander." Greets a male human voice - it is that of the Dawnstar's communications officer - he continues, "We have an incoming subspace hail for you." Keelah sighs almost as though she knows what is to come, "Very well, patch it through down here. Se'lai out." She commands as she taps the combadge once more and calls out, "Computer; arch"

The holo-image fades away next to her as the doorway arch appears to her side. Keelah drops her combadge back on to her gym back and approaches the arch, towel in hand.

Answering the waiting call as she arrives, "Hello mother" she states almost wearily staring at the image of Admiral Se'lai on the screen in front of her.

"Hello daughter." She responds plainly

Keelah forces a smile, bracing her towel between her knees as she pulls her hair back and tidies her pony tail, "To what do I owe this rare pleasure?"

"keelah your query is highly illogical, you know full well it is that time of year for our customary discussion." The Admrial's sense of the conversation comes across as somewhat forced.

Keelah sighs, "Of course, mother." She again forces a smile, "I trust you are keeping well?"

"I am, though I grow concerned-... Keelah what are you doing? You appear... flustered"

Keelah finishes pulling her hair back and pats her face down some more with her towel, breathing almost returned to a normal rate, "Just my morning exercises" she replies nonchalantly.

The Admiral furrows her brow "I recognise those surroundings. That is your old dance practice holoprogram. Keelah, have you taken up ballet once more?"

The Admiral's gaze drifts momentarily from the screen to image kept on her desk of a 6 year old Keelah wearing a pink tutu at a ballet recital.

"Not exactly mother. I have taken up dancing again, but not ballet. I am presently learning a new form which I find most agreeable."

The Admiral raises an eyebrow but does not probe further, having no greater desire than Keelah does to extend their conversation beyond requirements, "Very well. Keelah; I must confess a degree of concern for you - I have received some... troubling reports pertaining to your recent activities."

Keelah rolls her eyes, "And what would those reports say? That I am happy, socializing with colleagues and finally starting to settle back into a normal life? ... Or would they perhaps talk of an 'evil' V'tosh ka'tur spreading seeds of dissent among the DS13 populous?"

Admiral Se'lai frowns, "Do not take that sassy tone with me young lady, it is an undesirable human trait you know better than to absorb." The Admiral takes a breath, "And whilst I have received some... intriguing reports as to your recent activities since arriving there, you know perfectly well to what I am referring. Now tell me my daughter; what is all this about the Legacy?"

Keelah drapes her towel across her shoulder and braces herself against the wall - hands flat either side of the screen, "It is true mother; I have learned new information which warrants further investigation. I am taking the Dawnstar out to learn what happened to the Legacy once and for all."

The Admiral shakes her head almost pleadingly, "Keelah, why? The Legacy was lost - you know this. It is illogical to pursue the matter further."

Keelah frowns, "Since when is Starfleet in the habit of abandoning hope? All we know is that the Legacy was destroyed. We do not how, or why. Until the matter is completely investigated we can not even rule out the possibility of survivors - there are many accounts where marooned officers have survived for longer duratio-"

The Admiral cuts her off, "Is /that/ what this is about?" she sighs, "Keelah you know better than to believe /he/ may still be alive."

Keelah folds her arms in a huff and turns to face away from the screen, turning back after a moment, "If Starfleet was willing to send a mission out for that purpose I would quite happily concede - and that is /not/ what this is about. It is about learning the truth nothing more. And the truth as it stands is that there are no facts to contradict the possibility of survivors."

The Admiral lets out a defeated sigh, shaking her head, "You have always been a headstrong girl, as much as I wish you would not pursue this course I have no leave to stop you. Just promise me you will not allow your uncontrolled emotional state to impair your judgement."

Keelah tenses at her mother's derogatory comment - the Admiral knows full well that Keelah is perfectly adept in the control of her emotions. She forces a very fake smile, "If it will set your mind at ease mother; I promise. Now, was there anything else or can I get back to my practicing? I have limited time before going on duty after all."

The Admiral shakes her head, "Nothing further my daughter. Live long and prosper." The Admiral displays the Vulcan salute, which Keelah promptly returns.

"Go in peace mother"

"Oh and Keelah... happy birthday my daughter" With that the Admiral terminates the call.

Keelah takes a steadying breath, shaking off the tension of the conversation before dropping her towel back on the gym back, "Computer: reset program... Once more from the top" She sings out as she returns to her position in the center of the room.

Crystyl_ · August 11, 2016, 12:00am

"Combat Log Stardate 92610.8, Captain Keelah Se'lai; ISS Legacy recording..."

"...Quint's plan failed, cursed Terran's always getting too cocky for their own good - I risked my neck for this idiotic scheme of his - and for what? For all his promises of glorious victory what have I have been left with? Shame and an illusion of weakness I must now work to overcome, lest any Terran minions around here get any ideas!" her upper lip curls in bitterness as she eyes the sealed doorway with a sense of mistrust and resentment to those roaming the hallway beyond.

Keelah lay sprawled out on a sofa in her private chambers on board the ISS Legacy - once the executive home of the Terran 'Forrester', until Keelah wormed her way into his bed before slitting his throat in his sleep - She was still sore with battle wounds, and even more so with resentment at being made to look weak by Quint's failure. She caressed the fabric of the sofa, fond with the memories of the day she took command on this very spot before gently pulling her dagger from her hip and toying with it in her fingertips as she spoke.

"I will credit him this much; it started out well enough. I was summoned alongside a Terran named Varley and a Betazoid, Beylara was it? Quint was quick establish his fellow Terran with command over us 'Xeno's'" Her face twists distaste for the derogatory term, "I had no doubt right from that first encounter that Beylara and I were little more than cannon fodder to these two - quite ironic really since we were the only ones bringing necessary skills to the table"

"His plan sounded simple enough; transport to the /other/ universe and retrieve his mirror for interrogation. The prospect was enticing - it is all too rare a day that a Terran is allowed to be interrogated by any other than their own - and we executed it perfectly!"

She smirks with the fond memory of close quarters combat, even if the soft Fed Quint did get the drop on her thanks to the emotional bumblings of the Betazoid telling us he was not resisting. She still relished the tension of the air in that runabout, as she held her body tight against his cruelly tormenting him as she flipped from feigning biting his ear to teasingly licking at his neck whilst holding her beloved dagger across his throat - she licks her lips, "If there is one constant across all universes; it is the taste of fear'

"Upon our return I was finally allowed to enjoy myself with him, as it transpired this was Varley & Quint's first attempt at throwing me to the wolves - with our prisoner secured I was invited to retrieve his security codes via mind meld whilst the Betazed hid in the corner and observed his mind - for all the good it did us previously! What they did not reveal to me however that was not the first the /other/ Quint had been used in this manner and having already had his mind attacked in the past, this would not prove such an easy task." she growls lightly at the memory of being used in such a manner. Terran's were cruel beyond belief!

"As I began my mental assault he of course resisted, however despite his best efforts he could not hold out for long. I pressed hard against his mental defenses and felt..." she trembles almost with a sense of arousal licking her lips, "...his pain! Memories were forming, he could not hide them from me forever! But then it happened; as I pushed harder still against his mind and retraced my touch across his soft face the b****** bit me!" She launches her dagger in a fit of rage, embedding it in a painting opposite - this is not the only dagger hole in the painting, "He may have regretted his small victory however, as I returned to a dominating stance in front of him I showed my distaste when I spat down on him. Of course he turned his face down at this not knowing that was my desire all along making it that much more pleasurable to connect my left boot with his jaw before leaving for the medical station" she grins, "I knew I'd connect with him one way or the other!"

"Over the coming days we slowly broke his spirit... and his body.... and his mind" she grins briefly before her face twists in resentment, "But then they arrive - a strike team from /their/ universe. I told Quint we should have conducted the interrogations on board the Legacy, but noooo - he just had to keep all the cards close to his chest! The Feds made short work of his weak Terran forces and before we knew it they had us surrounded."

The Terran - Varley - used our broken toy as a human shield... a typical Terran tactic, however they played us for fools baiting Varley with negotiations whilst they flanked our position." She punches the sofa, jumping up and pacing the room as she continues, "The soft Trill at my side - Nirali, was it? - got duped into lowering her weapon and was quickly thrown to wolves hiding like cowards in the hallway by Varley. As she approached they opened fire. The excitement and chaos quickly ensued with weapons fire exchanged, but we were too entrenched. I managed to drop the stumpy MACO before they flanked our position with a wide beam stun." She shakes her head in shame, "That's the last time I allow a Terran to co-ordinate my movements in combat"

She retrieves her dagger from the wall and leans back as continues to fondle it's blade, "I awoke a short time later to find that the Fed's had gone - why had they not killed us as we lay there - I have heard that Terran's in /that/ universe are soft surely even they could not be so forgiving - They are still Terran's after all are they not?" she shakes the brief thought from her mind, "I did not waste time. The others were still unconscious thanks to their weak bodies and so I took my leave hailing the Legacy for immediate pickup - I did not want to be around when the angry Terran - Varley - came around, it would be all too easy for her to blame her own failings on us 'xenos' and I was in no mood for games by that point."

"So what now, where does this leave me? This was my first encounter with the Terran's from /that/ universe that I've heard so much about, I honestly believed that we would better them - that our own prowess and determination would be far too great a nemesis for them to withstand. Leeta was right... they should not be underestimated... A mistake I will not be making again"

(Full highlights of the PU/MU showdown available in this Dropbox folder - There's around 50 images including highlights of all characters in attendance so please feel free to pull any you want)

Crystyl_ · August 14, 2016, 12:00am

"Once bitten, but not twice shy..."

Keelah sits motionless at the office desk in her quarters, her watery eyes staring into nothingness. Her cat - Kuci - jumps up in front of Keelah and looks at her mewing and purring lightly... Keelah's gaze does not shift.

She takes a steadying breath and calls out, "Computer; begin new entry. Personal log Stardate 92617, Commander Keelah Se'lai recording..."

"The Dawnstar has returned from it's mission to retrace the final moments of the Legacy, to say this mission was difficult for me would be an understatement. I knew going into it that I would be emotionally challenged, but never had I anticipated such an a scenario as we found."

She taps a few times on the desk console, "Official report attached" She states flatly.

Spoiler: Show

AAR - USS Legacy SAR

Keelah sighs and looks at Kuci, petting her briefly before continuing, "I suppose at this point I should elaborate on the final moments of the Legacy as I witnessed them. I have never before spoken openly of what happened in detail but now seems a suitable time to record it whilst so fresh in my mind..."

Her voice waivers slightly as she sniffs, "We were on a deep space survey mission of uncharted territory - a welcome change of pace following recent events with the Iconians - John was on duty that night so I had our quarters to myself, I never slept quite so well when he was not at my side." she pauses to wipe her eyes, "At approximately 4 AM ship time I was awoken by a powerful explosion rocking the ship. Inertial dampeners failed almost immediately and the ship shook turbulently - so much so I almost fell out of my bed. This was quickly followed by a power failure, everything went dark a moment before the red emergency lighting kicked in and the announcement came over the comms 'all hands abandon ship, repeat all hands abandon ship - this is not a drill!" she pauses to take a steadying breath,

"The words still haunt me to this day, all I could think about was finding John - I had to get to him - as I stumbled out of my quarters whilst the ship continued shake violently, smoke filled the corridors as conduits blew all around showering me in sparks - the Legacy was listing badly and it was getting harder to keep a steady footing. As I raced through the corridor stumbling and diving around collapsing bulkheads the escape pod hatches dropped open around me - this can't be happening, I kept telling myself! As I progressed I shoved one officer after the other into empty pods, refusing to break my pace. But then another sharp explosion threw my from my feet as an EPS conduit blew, before I could regain my footing a bulkhead collapsed and pinned my arm - I was panic stricken. In desperation I yanked my arm free, dislocating my shoulder in the process. My vision blurred as the pain coursed through my body, I knew I was badly burned from the explosion, then I lost consciousness."

wipes a stray tear from her eye, "Some time later - I do not know how long - I awoke in an escape pod, drifting through space with a young Ensign at my side attempting to tend my wounds. We drifted for what felt like days before being recovered by a passing freighter, one of but a few pods recovered... and John was not among them."

She stares ahead solemnly, an unnaturally long silence ensues before she continues, "And so we returned with the Dawnstar to find out what happened to the Legacy that day and almost suffered the same fate. To think we were moments aware from suffering a core breach as well - all my dear friends who volunteered to join me for this mission - I almost lost them all..."

A tear streaks down her reddened cheek, she doesn't even bother to wipe it away anymore, "At least, we did not share the Legacy's fate. I was injured during my attempts to avert the core breach but managed to make my way back to bridge. What I saw when I arrived..." her bottom lip quivers slightly as she recalls the memory and fights back the tears, "Is too fresh to coherently recount"

Again she taps at the desk console, "Second attachment; communication recording between the Dawnstar and enemy vessel which took place as I returned to the bridge"

Spoiler: Show

Keelah stumbles out of the turbolift door, black and plasma burns across her face and hands, all relatively minor. She coughs and weezes as she re-enters the bridge

Nicole sighs with relief

Nicole: "Commander, you had me worried."

Keelah: "Sorry I'm *cough* late... Glad to see we're still *cough* in one piece"

T'Rara smiles when Keelah reappears.

Voice on Viewscreen | "We've managed to stop the core breach, but our hull has been compromised by nucle-.."

Voice on Viewscreen | The man stops and stares through the viewscreen.

Keelah: freezes on the spot at the sound of the voice

Nicole: "..."

Nicole: "I take it you met Keelah."

Keelah braces herself against Nicole's shoulder as she slowly turns to face the viewscreen

Keelah: her eyes widen, "...John?!" she exclaims

Nicole: "T'Rara, have a Engineering team ready to transport to the Miranda to repair it."

Keelah: staggering forward slightly in disbelief, "John... Is it really you?"

T'Rara: "Understood."

Keelah coughs

John | "Keelah," he says before flinching as a console sparks nearby, "We thought you were dead."

Nicole: "Miss Zehn do we have a name for the Miranda?"

Keelah: slowly shakes her head in bemusement, "John what... what happened to you?"

Nirali Zehn: "Analyzing."

Nicole moves some of her hair out of her eyes and dusts her uniform off

Keelah's face slowly turns to anger, "You... fired on us! You fired on another Federation vessel!"

Keelah: her eyes watery, a tear rolling down her cheek, "John you... fired on me?!" her hands clench into tight fists

John | The man's face changes correspondingly, "Starfleet abandoned us! You were.. you were dead! You weren't there when our escape pods were picked up!"

Nicole: "Keelah, Stand down."

Nirali Zehn: "I have a match. It's the U.S.S. T'Pau. Decommissioned around 60 years ago.

Keelah: stumbles slightly and drops to her knees

Keelah: "John..."

Nicole would place a hand on Keelah's shoulder

T'Rara: "Captain. The Miranda's structural integrity is failing."

Nicole: "Keelah, take a moment."

Keelah: "What has happened to you?"

Nicole: "T'Rara, send a security team with the Engineering team also, beam them aboard."

Keelah shrugs Nicole's hand off defiantly

Nicole: "And make it fast."

T'Rara: "Very well. .. They have shields blocking our transports."

Keelah: "We... our pods were picked up days after the breach, no other sign was found..."

Keelah: "John... what happened to the Legacy?"

Nicole: "Keelah, I'm going to have to have to relieve you off your Command."

John | They never came for us! We drifted in the field for /weeks/ before we were picked up. Starfleet just left us out there to die!"

Keelah: coughs and stumbles again slightly, again bracing against Nicole's arm

T'Rara: "We nee to make repairs on that ship soon, Captain. Otherwise it will be loss. Lower shields and we can send repairs teams or retrieve your survivors."

John "Legacy? It was destroyed by the others. They needed to make their point, so people would listen!"

Nicole: "Regulation six one nine, any commanding officer who lets their emotions compromise the mission must resign command."

Keelah: stares defiantly at Nicole, through watery eyes, "You must be kidding me!"

T'Rara stands up.

Nicole: "Keelah, I'm sorry."

Lunya glances between the view screen and Keelah

Keelah: "What others? dammit /who John/ ? who stole you from me?!"

T'Rara: "Please! Continue this conversation when neither of our ships are at risk!"

Nicole: "But I have to focus on our survival and theirs."

Ulkesh makes a several harsh clicks. "Foolish humanoids."

Nicole: "Stand down Commander, that's an order."

John | "You want someone to blame?!" he shouts over an exploding console nearby, "Look around you!"

Andrew Kumar: Watches the scene rather bemused. He looks to T'Rara and nods in agreement.

Nicole: "And T'Rara's got the right point."

T'Rara: "Sensors inform a hull breach has formed on the Miranda."

Nirali Zehn: I can try to beam them off.

Keelah: tears stream down her cheeks as she turns to Nicole, "...Captain Washington I... *sniff*... I cannot in good conscious make command decisions. The bridge... The Dawnstar, is yours"

Nicole: "Make it fast Zehn. T'Rara, have security to the Transporer room."

Keelah: dips her head and walks away still coughing some

Keelah's voice waivers heavily as tears streak down her cheeks, "I... do not know how to process this information yet; John - the man I loved and devoted my entire life to... and spent the last year grieving the loss of... not only was he alive, but when I found him he *sniff* he almost killed me... and now he is truly gone, not counted amongst those beamed off his ship before it breached."

She lets out a defeated sigh, "And if that wasn't hard enough to deal with, I must now face my friends - the people who I almost got killed, I do not know how they will regard me after this... I placed Nicole in an extremely unfair position forcing her to relieve me of duty, I... hope they can find it in their hearts to forgive me. I have come to rely on their support in recent times and... I don't know how I am going to get through this without them now."

She dips her head in silence and moves to finish the log entry before pausing, "Supplementary; now that the truth of the Legacy's demise is known I have requested that Starfleet updated all outstanding personnel records from MIA to KIA... there are no survivors now. This brings me to one final challenge I must face before I can start to put these events behind me; I must inform Kayleigh - John's younger sister of what has transpired. I believe she is an cadet at Starfleet Academy now - if she has not already passed out to become an Ensign." she sighs, "That is a conversation I am not looking forward to, we have not spoken since the memorial and when she needed someone to blame for the loss of her brother she only found me... but she needs to know the truth, it is only right and it is my responsibility to inform her."

"Computer... end log"

Crystyl_ · August 21, 2016, 12:00am

"A night to remember..."

"Personal log Stardate 92638.3, Keelah Se'lai recording: Everything happened very fast, one minute I was having a nice quiet chat with Eunha and the next Jarus was in the bar suggesting we conduct the previously discussed dance challenge before I depart for shore leave. Then before I knew it, we were in the holosuite loading up the first program to put on a show for all our friends:"

"I really enjoyed that dance, it felt good to move alongside a real partner instead of a holo. I enjoyed it so much, I decided to rope him in to joining my performance piece I've been working on:"

"The girls were all quite suprised to see me return with blond hair, but I was quick to assure them that it was only temporary. Blond's might have more fun, but I've got a week of shore leave ahead of me for that now!"

"But enough of that, I've got a shuttle to catch...Computer: End log entry"

Crystyl_ · August 27, 2016, 12:00am

"What happens on shore leave, doesn't stay on shore leave..."

^The first picture T'Mona took of Keelah in Hawaii^

Keelah stood at the replicator in her quarters, licking her lips as a glass of clear liquid materialized. She takes the glass to her couch where she promptly lays back very casually and stretches her legs out. She flicks the side of the glass and marvels as the clear liquid swirls in a rainbow of colours before settling into a much more tropical looking liquid.

"Computer: Begin entry, personal log 92654.1; Keelah Se'lai recording..."

"So we - T'Rara, T'Mona, Vyzoh and myself - have returned from shore leave on Earth. I am uncertain if I have the words to do justice to my feelings about this trip, but I will try. I knew before our shuttle was even halfway to Earth that this vacation would prove... interesting. The time alone and free of distraction afforded T'Rara and I considerable opportunity to talk, and share, and grow unexpectedly close."

She sips the Samarian Sunset and smiles fondly with the memory of when she first realized T'Rara's feeling for her, and that she herself shared those feelings.

"Our first port of call was the Academy since I was eager to conclude my business there and allow my travelling companions to start enjoying their vacation. With a little encouragement from T'Rara as we sat reminiscing about our time here as we watched the cadets scurry about the place - and some help from old Boothby, it did not take long for me to track down Kayleigh - if only that had been the hard part"

"To say she was not impressed to see me again after all this time would be an understatement. Nonetheless, she agreed to hear my words and I proceeded to explain to her the circumstances of my recent mission to track the fate of the Legacy. She is clearly still very angry with me, I just hope that in time she will come to terms with what has transpired and understand that I only told her everything as I did for her own benefit; had I not, she would have surely heard rumors sooner or later and likely drawn an inaccurate conclusion. Now that would have been a challenging scenario to face!"

"I shall continue to follow her progress through the Academy... distantly, all that's said and done I still cherish her like the little sister I never had and hold hopes for that relationship to one day be restored."

She sips some more of her Samarian Sunset with an expression on her face that is one of pure contentment.

"Upon our departure from the Academy, our vacation truly began..."

Spoiler: Show

"Over the course of the coming days T'Rara and I would become nigh inseparable as we explored the beaches in Hawaii..."

Spoiler: Show

"...Dined in Parisian restaurants..."

Spoiler: Show

"...And explored exotic ruins..."

Spoiler: Show

"...And the more time we spent together, the more my feelings for her grew. Never had I expected to care so fondly for someone ever again, let alone another woman - but I could not deny what my heart was telling me, I was falling for her."

"Oh, note to self: next time do not let T'Mona loose with the holocamera - It seems like every image we captured featured T'Rara and I in the same hand holding pose... let alone that unfortunate close shot of me in my bikini on that beach in Hawaii!"

She empties her glass of the Samarian Sunset.

"I do not yet know where this newfound companionship will lead, T'Rara and I have spoken some on the subject but I honestly think neither of us truly knows what she expects of our future together. However she appears as content as I to simply enjoy the bond we now share for what it is. I've no doubt this will lead to a few raised eyebrows from our friends and colleagues, my only wish is that they will be happy for us. Computer: End log"

Crystyl_ · October 20, 2016, 12:00am

"A NEW DAWN... A NEW STAR"

Spoiler: ThemeShow

Keelah stood attentively at the front of the room. Was he going to shake hands or salute? She could feel her palms grow sweaty with anxiety. Why am I nervous? It's not like I've never conversed with the Admiral before. This is not logical dammit, get a grip on yourself!. She could feel her heart racing at warp speed, beating so hard it felt like it was trying to escape her chest as she watched the Admiral with a sideways glance as he gave his preparatory speech, "The Captain's ranks gain some great officers today...The Commander rank, looses the same. So, Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders, be ready to step up... Publish the orders."

She continued to watch the Admiral move with a sideways glance, too rigid in her attentive stance to even turn her head to watch as he approached, Oh, heavens he's coming to me first!

"Keelah Se'lai is hereby promoted from the rank of Commander to Captain." He spoke reaching in and gently attaching the fourth pip to her collar. Keelah could not help but show a proud smile briefly as he stepped back and faced her. No hand shake, please no hand shake... damn, my palms are so sweaty still! He's not going for it... right, salute it is!

"Congratulations Captain." The Admiral said with that ever authoritative tone as he returned the salute. What should I say, do I give a speech. Must come out with something deep and meaningful, dammit woman this is your big moment!

"Thank you, Admiral" Was the best she could manage. Well... not exactly one for the history books, but at least I didn't shame myself!

In the hours that followed Keelah received confirmation of her new assignment; the U.S.S. Valley Forge. Captain Forrester and the Dawnstar were set to depart for the alpha Quadrant, seemingly being reassigned to DS9's sector - at least until he appointed a new XO. But Keelah's mind was on one thing, and one thing only; the Valley Forge. Her debrief told her that it was an older Sentinel class cruiser that had just undergone a significant refit at Utopia Planetia, the ship was already out of drydock and en route to DS13 to rendezvous with it's new commanding officer.

The following morning, Keelah awoke early. Though it may be more accurate to say that she did not really sleep, her mind racing too quickly to afford her the luxury of rest. She knew that the Valley Forge had been scheduled to dock overnight and was sitting in it's berth all but empty, save for a skeleton crew from the fleetyards which delivered her. This trip had not been an official maiden voyage, but rather more of a final test run. It was still early, had she been planetside at this hour it would still be dark; but that mattered not, for she could wait no longer. Where's the logic in laying here staring at the ceiling? If I'm not sleeping I may as well be making fruitful use of the time!

Having made up her mind, she jumped out of bed and promptly slipped on her crisp new uniform before collecting an armful of PADD's on the way out of the door to her and T'Rara's quarters. Perhaps if Rara wasn't away now, I would have been more settled. She made her way out to the docks and chartered a shuttle to fly her out to the Valley Forge, "Why not simply beam over there, it would be must more efficient?" asked the Officer of the Watch, to which Keelah simply smiled in response, "But then I wouldn't get to see her now, would I!"

If she was smiling before, she was positively beaming as the Valley Forge came into view. Whilst not having the sheer presence of the Odyssey class Dawnstar, the Valley Forge was no shrinking violet either; at around 2/3 the overall size of the Dawnstar, and with it's newly upgraded hull plating gleaming in the distant sunlight she looked suitable proud. That's one beautiful lady!

Keelah walked the long, dim and barren corridors leading from the starboard shuttlebay to the bridge. She was in no rush now so avoided the turbolifts as far as possible, though having in mind that she would complete a full tour once her senior staff were on board for now - she just wanted to enjoy the ship.

As the lift doors hissed open she stepped onto the bridge... her bridge... for the first time, and her eyes momentarily widened with marvel. She slowly encircled the room, gliding a stray hand over the curve of the consoles and the horseshoe which seperated her from her officers. A single command seat, how retro, I guess I was spoiled as the Dawnstar's XO Her introductory tour of the bridge spiraled inwards until she was stood face to face with her new station; the Captain's chair. She felt a familiar sensation in the pit of her stomach, not dissimilar to that felt the night before when the Admiral pinned that new pip on her collar. She idly ran a fingertip across her four pips as she stared at the chair. She was no stranger to command having lead multiple missions both on board the Dawnstar and the various starbase defense vessels. But this was different, she was not covering someone else's command now or leading a single missions. this was her chair... her bridge... her command. Drawing a deep breath Keelah lowered herself into the chair she would come to know as home... and frowned, shifting uncomfortably. I miss my old chair! Gradually she twisted and fidgeted around until settling into a more comfortable posture, resting her palms on the armrests she looked around the bridge from her command station... and a contented smile slowly formed across her lips as she tapped on the armrest.

"Captain's Log, Stardate 92792.2;.... 'Captain's' Log, the words still sound foreign to me, this is a pivotal moment in the history of the Valley Forge. Over the centuries the name has been proudly carried by a multitude of vessel's ranging from the 20th Century Earth Naval aircraft carrier, to the Excelsior class vessel who bore this ship's registry up until her demise during the Dominion War. This Valley Forge has already seen many years of service, and served the Federation as proudly as it has it's own heritage. If nothing else during my tenure of command; I aim to ensure that we do not let either of these slip. This Valley Forge is like a new ship now following the refit, we have a lot of work ahead to fully test the integration of new systems though I have no doubt in my mind that the ship and crew will live up to this task and achieve it to the highest of standards. She is a tall ship, now all she need's a star to steer her by."

Following some hours of familiarizing herself with the ship and it's systems, the crew arrived on board and set about their duties. One by one they drip fed onto the bridge to be greeted warmly by their new Captain. Everyone busied themselves making preparations for her official launch, and as the awaited time grew closer the bridge slowly transformed into a hive of efficiently organised activity - a far cry from the empty room Keelah had entered only a few hours earlier. The department heads began calling in readiness checks, departure clearance would confirmed with station Ops. This was it; their course was laid in, all crew and systems reported ready for departure then... the order came from Ops, "Valley Forge you are cleared for departure. Godspeed and smooth sailing". Her moment had arrived, the entire bridge crew turned to face her as she she pushed up out of her seat, tugging her overly crisp tunic straight as she did. Keelah stepped forward looking around her officer's with a proud smile before turning to the front, "Helm, take us out; let's give them the show they've been waiting for!"

Keelah closed her eyes a moment as she felt the subtle shunt of the Valley Forge's engine's firing up and the intertial dampener's taking their grip. The ship gracefully eased forward from it's dock before entering a slow bank into it's departure vector. As the ship began it's turn, the sendoff party all waved emphatically from the viewing ports on the berth and marvelled at their handiwork as the sunlight sparkled back at them off the ship's glistening new hull plating. Then the Valley Forge launched a spread of fireworks into it's immediate flight path and swing into a celebratory barrel roll through the midst the celebration before settling into her find flight path and accelerating to warp. And so our voyage begins!

Crystyl_ · November 6, 2016, 12:00am

"THAT FIRST STAIN"

Spoiler: ThemeShow

Keelah paced restlessly back and forth across her quarters aboard the Valley Forge as she progressed her log entry, "I have decided - after great deliberation - to record my feelings on recent events solely in my personal log.; having concluded that filing official reports will serve no purpose beyond extending the suffering of those who already feel the burden of their actions weigh down on them."

She takes a deep breath before continuing, "This is in reference to our recent mission which saw us join the USS Fletcher for the return of one hundred stasis pods to the Dominion. All had been arranged and our orders were clear, having escorted the task force from DS13 to DS9 I opted to join the many command staff continuing on the second leg of the mission through the wormhole - after all it's a rare opportunity these days to meet a representative of the Dominion and I was eager for the experience."

"All had gone well enough until the impromptu arrival of third - unidentified - vessel who's commander was quick to establish contact with us and plea for mercy in not seeing through our business with the Dominion. His ship was small and under powered; scarcely a threat to a Runabout, let alone the Fletcher or the Dominion battle cruiser sat off our bow. If the condition of his ship - coupled with it's defiant presence - wasn't enough to spell out their desperation, his hail was. My heart instantly went out to him and his people - clearly having suffered greatly at the hands of the Dominion. But this was not my ship, not my mission and not my command. I was simply there as an observer and had no place to intervene in the events that followed... right?"

Keelah continues to pace as she pauses her dialogue for thought, "After making his initial plea to us the alien was held back for a discussion among the bridge staff - unwise in my view since we had not even extended him the courtesy of an introduction, let alone a detailed explanation of his troubles. As the other Captain's present debated with a fierce prejudice towards self preservation and mission completion, I highlighted to the mission commander - Captain Konieczko - that we should at least listen to what the alien had to say, and learn why he felt justified in the obvious and desperate risk to himself at approaching our two vessels. But alas... this fell on deaf ears; I do not know why, but our immediate response to the alien was to warn him away under the threat of vioence - and of course, having seen us to be no better than his Dominion oppressors he quickly turned tail to flee... not that the Dominion would allow him such luxury as they fired and disintigrated the relatively defenseless ship."

She sighs heavily, rubbing her eyes, "I understand the Dmitri was in an impossible position and acted as he thought best. As an observer to the mission - and a friend and colleague to him - it was not my place to openly dispute his orders on the bridge... and that is the burden I must now bear. For one to act with the best intentions and fail is one thing, but for one to fail to act... that is something everyone on that bridge was guilty of."

"Maybe things would not have turned out any differently, but then... maybe they would. Why did I not try harder to make him see reason - to remind him of our duty as Starfleet officers? Perhaps I am still too accustomed to /not/ counting among the ranking officers in such situations... or perhaps I am simply reaching to justify my own level of inaction. Whatever the case; what's done is done and can not be undone; something we must all do now is find a way to consolidate our feelings on these events."

Keelah finally kneels in front of her meditation lamp, speaking in a softer voice, "The solemn mood hung across the entire crew during our return trip. I found many of my colleagues afterwards seeking solace at Quark's whilst awaiting our task force's return to DS13 - whilst I joined them there, I was in no mood for socializing. I could feel the anger and the guilt burning through my insides; anger at the Dominion for killing the innocent; anger at Dmitri for turning them away so abruptly... and anger at myself for letting it all happen. Fortunately for me; Woadie still had my old 'meditation' holoprogram as he used to fondly call it during my previous time at DS9, and this seemed a desirable outlet for my emotions of the day so I excused myself from present company and locked myself in a holosuite"

She smiles softly, "The looks on people's face when I returned from what they assumed was a serene meditation wearing head to toe combat armour and covered with scrapes and bruises was entertaining. Having released my emotional buildup I shared a glass or two of vodka with Dmitri, to whom I quicly explained the the meditation program was just a fun name that Woadie gave it. When I had previously been stationed on DS9 I was still in a period of great mourning and emotional strife, and so found the most fruitful - and generally safest - release for my pent up emotion was a combat simulator; pure unadultered front line chaos. Given my past tendency to walk into that program with emotions breaking the surface, then return in a more serene and controlled form, Woadie fondly dubbed it my 'meditation' program."

Laughing softly, "Addendum; I must remember to transfer the credit's to Hadron for the damage caused to his holosuite!"

"Following this; I opted to keep the Valley Forge docked for a little longer after our task force left. As we had watched the unknown alien vessel blow up, I found myself saying a prayer for the souls on board - an uncharacteristically spiritual move for me - one which I can only attribute to my time spent earlier in the day revisiting the Vedek's on board the station who once patiently guided me through my troubles. During these extended hours in the region, I again revisited the Bajoran spiritual leaders and meditated - properly - on these events. Whilst I do not share their religious beliefs, I do find their spiritual clarity to be... calming. Throughout the night we sat and prayed again for the souls lost in the Gamma Quadrant that day."

"I am of course still troubled, but just as everyone else who bore witness to the gross lapse in Starfleet conduct I will learn and grow from this. After all, the blood of the innocent is one of the hardest stains to cleanse and it now adorns my new white shoulders. Computer; end log"

Crystyl_ · August 20, 2017, 12:00am

"REFLECTIONS"

Spoiler: ThemeShow

"Personal Log; Stardate 93029.4. Captain Se'Lai recording..." Keelah began as she sat relaxed at the desk in her quarters on board the Valley Forge; a steaming hot mug of raktajino in front of her, "I do not know what I expected to feel when this came around - our first return to port following an extended patrol - I don't know why, but I always imagined it would feel more... triumphant. Was it just me picturing things so differently? I am no stranger to the circumstances true, having served long enough on the Dawnstar before this command. I guess... I guess I just imagined a grander feeling as the CO..."

She pauses briefly and the sound of a gentle slurp of the drink can be heard before she proceeds.

"Of course, it does not help that this return was overshadowed by news of my Silverblood clone..." she sighs, "It would seem that they were not as stable as we first thought when they were... errm... created? Yeah, let's go with that - created!"

"The doctor's clone was already gone by the time we arrived - having not taken too well to the stasis it would seem. In the wake of that incident, my clone was awakened and held under live conditions for further study - a situation that proved far too tempting for me to resist, and an all too surreal one at that"

Another long pause follows as she gathers her thoughts.

"Whilst the station staff were doing everything they could to maintain her atomic cohesion, it appeared that there is a fundamental flaw in the way these 'silverbloods' generate. While the process is a marvel to behold; the silverblood itself is a very basic lifeform acting on pure instinct. For it to retain such a complex physical form was destined to failure; it was only a matter of time."

Keelah stands and paces the room, carrying her mug of raktajino with both hands wrapped around it as she continues, "And so despite having nothing in common with this entity beyond physical appearance, I could not resist the temptation to see myself through the eyes of another, and so visited the lab where they were studying her."

"By the time I arrived, she had been out of stasis for considerable time and already showing signs of degradation. I won't deny that it brought a tear to my eye; seeing such a painful strain on my face, even if said face was being worn by another. But I was quickly overwhelmed by the surprise of the clone recognizing me. I don't know why, but I had not expected her to do so"

She pauses to slurp more of her drink

"Approaching the holding cell - which she had to be kept inside in order to maintain her as long as they had already - I... I could not describe the surreal sensation of looking ahead to see my own eyes staring back like that. Drawing nearer, I could see the extent of her physical degradation as her flesh was slowly giving way to the silverblood in her veins as they became increasingly prominent. She was visibly weak and suffering, but seemed to welcome my arrival. As I stood before the force field - surveying her like giving a warp core inspection - she mirrored my movements, with a curious tilt of her head... she even spoke!"

Another pause ensues as Keelah shakes her head, still in disbelief

"I can not fathom why that caught me by surprise as it did - I had already seen from the reports that she had achieved basic communication with the team - but now here I was ... quite literally talking to myself, oh mother would have a field day if I told her of this!"

Keelah chuckles softly at the thought, "But I digress... knowing that she was not long for this world... and knowing that she knew this also; I remained with her, talking idly about myself and my life as it was a subject of great curiosity to her; knowing the person she had become and giving context to the thoughts and feelings running through her mind. However, it was not long before the degradation began to overwhelm her..."

A reluctant pause follows

"The words we shared are of no consequence now. Suffice to say that I believe it helped - in some small way at least - her to find some peace in her final moments. I offered her a short nod of confirmation that it was ok to let go and return to her natural state. Though my eyes watered the whole time, I could not fight back the streak of tears that traced down my cheeks as she smiled back at me before raising her hand to place it flat against the force field. I of course responded in kind and placed my hand against hers and we shared a grateful smile before she was overcome by a pained expression as the silver veins adorning her flesh grew bolder and bolder until... she was no more. The physical process of what I witnessed is not easy to eloquently describe but I would best liken it to witnessing a changeling return to a liquid state."

Keelah set her now empty mug down on the desk and gave a soft sniff as fought to control her emotions, "It is unfortunate that we did not get to learn more of the silverbloods, but we know they are out there - somewhere - and so one day maybe... one day. But enough of that... I must focus my mind as I just received news that Captain Somek's proposed mind meld is to go ahead. I must now prepare to take a fellow Vulcan on an emotional journey..."