The Ansha Tales: Little Green Women In Bikinis
Stardate: 101577.9, July 30th, 2424, 1200 Hrs, USS Ecstasea, Captain’s Ready Room
Ansha looked at the two junior officers standing at attention before the ready desk that she was sitting at. Her mouth was skewed as she practically burned a hole through them with her gaze.
The human, Ensign Harper Tannetti, had a black eye, and his right forearm was in a sling with a fluid cast, pulsing with light, covering his wounded appendage. The Andorian, Ensign Shar Golatt, sported a busted lip and was apparently wearing some kind of protective chest gear across his torso under his uniform.
“Really?” she asked rhetorically. Her anger made her thickly Punjabi-accented speech even more so. “Disrespecting a senior officer, sexual harassment, creating a disturbance, and assaulting a senior officer to boot? Alright, what do you two have to say for yourselves?”
The two stood in silence for a long while, not sure what to say, until Tannetti finally spoke.
“Uhm, Captain, in our defense we… didn’t realize that the Orion chick… lady…. uhm… the woman was a Starfleet officer. I mean, they are kinda rare, ma’am.”
“Yes, Captain, we totally thought she was a… you know,” Golatt added.
“No, Ensign, I do not know,” Ansha replied. “A what?”
“A… prostitute?” Tannetti answered sheepishly, which prompted Ansha to roll her eyes. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair. Her gaze intensified to a visibly seething rating.
“Oh, I see. And what made you think she was a prostitute?” Ansha inquired.
“Well, she was an Orion, and…,” Golatt began only to have the sentence completed by Tannetti.
“… and she was a beautiful green woman at a bar alone and…”
“I am green and I am woman shaped,” Ansha said. “Some people have even said I am beautiful. Does that mean I am a prostitute?”
The two looked at each other in shock.
“NO, Captain,” Golatt exclaimed.
“Absolutely not, Captain.” Tannetti added.
“She was wearing a very skimpy bikini, Captain,” Golatt further explained.
“It is Risa,” Ansha declared. “It is warm, and there are beaches, two suns, and aquatic activities. Practically everyone is wearing skimpy swimwear. I was wearing a bikini at the resort on Risa just two days ago before having to come back aboard to deal with you two. Does that mean I looked like a prostitute? Apparently according to your checklist of sluttiness, being green, woman shaped, and in a bikini is all that is necessary, OR am I missing another key component here?”
“You’re not Orion, Captain,” Tannetti said, as Golatt nodded emphatically.
Ansha closed her eyes in exasperation, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. She didn’t need to breathe this way so it was more for effect than anything. She uttered something in Punjabi under breath that basically translated to the notion that she had two idiots standing in front of her.
“And,” Ansha said very pointedly, “to address the most serious charge of assaulting a superior officer, you two are very fortunate. Commander Reese, with whom I am good friends, has suggested letting this one go as he feels the two of you ended up on the worst end of that encounter. I hope the pain you suffered from the beat down he delivered upon both of you was a good lesson, because the Commander, who was once Starfleet Intelligence, could have easily killed both of you with one hand. He graciously showed you restraint, wouldn’t you say?.”
The two nodded sheepishly.
“That leaves us with the main catalyst for all of this, the charges of disrespecting a senior officer, with an addendum concerning sexual harassment. Ugh, I had to read the things you said to Lieutenant Commander Valusia. Absolutely disgusting. Appaling! Completely out of line!”
Ansha paused for a moment to both stew in anger and let what she said sink in.
“Perhaps we should talk to the highly decorated Starfleet doctor and war hero that you two thought looked like a whore,” Ansha said, tapping an icon on her desk display. A holographic image of Lieutenant Commander Jeiliscia Valusia, MD, from her office on board the USS Hornet, standing before the defendants in her medical uniform and labcoat appeared which caused the pair of miscreants to display signs of obvious mental discomfort.
“Captain,” Dr Valusia said, greeting Ansha pleasantly.
“Doctor, so nice of you to join us,” Ansha said in reply to the holographic image, “though I wish it were under more pleasant circumstances.”
“Well, it is what it is, Captain,” Dr Valusia replied with her almost poetic lilt.”I am for the most part accustomed to it.”
“You should not have to be accustomed to any of this, Doctor. I’ve read the statements so I will not have you recite what happened again, if that is fine?”
“That is fine, Captain,” Dr Valusia replied.
“So, Doctor, what do you think an appropriate punishment would be for these two?”
“Hmm, let’s see,” Dr Valusia replied thoughtfully. “As much as I would love to make an example of these two, and I am sure my fiancé would like to see them raked over the coals, I think this could be better served as a learning moment.”
“Of course, Captain,” Dr Valusia continued, “how you choose to mete out discipline is your discretion, but I would advocate for leniency given their clean records up to this point. Perhaps gaining understanding about my culture would help. Maybe learning that though we are regarded as being.. libertine by some, we have a deep history and a rich culture that even goes back further than both Earthling and Andorian modern histories.”
“I would be agreeable to that, Doctor,” Ansha responded, “but one more thing needs to be addressed here.” Ansha changed her gaze back to Tannetti and Golatt. “No matter who they are, what they are, what they are wearing, who they are affiliated with, where they are sitting, you must show respect.”
“Wherever we go,” Ansha continued, “whatever we do, no matter what rank we are, no matter whether we are in uniform or not, we are ambassadors of the Federation. How we behave dictates how people perceive us. No matter who it is, you should never, ever assume that they are there for your amusement. Never say anything to anyone you would not say to me or your mother. Am I making myself clear?”
“Yes, Captain,” the defendants both said.
“Restricted duty for three months, and the Doctor has recommended both of you read a few books on Orion culture and history. Though Starfleet has had run-ins and differences with Orions in the past, I think after you read these fascinating writings, you will agree that there is more to that species than slaves and piracy. To add to that, so you have an understanding of how slave trafficking is most often associated with prostitution, you will read several books on the subject of slavery that have been also recommended by the doctor. I found them to be thought provoking.”
“Moreso, Ensigns, I want you both to think about how demeaning your behavior was to Dr Valusia, and not just from the aspect of her being a fellow and senior Starfleet officer, but as a person. A person, who no matter what their station in life, deserves respect. Again, am I making myself absolutely clear”
The two ensigns looked down and said “Yes, Captain” in a very subdued manner.
“So do you have anything else to say Ensign Tarretti and Ensign Golatt?” Ansha asked.
“Doctor Valusia,” Golatt said, “I’m very sorry. What we did was wrong. We were caught up in that party atmosphere I guess. It was very unprofessional, and I hope you can forgive me for that.”
“Yes, Doctor,” Tannetti said, “I’m also extremely sorry. We just… we just left our brains on the ship I guess. It was stupid and inconsiderate. Sorry.”
“Acceptable, Doctor?” Ansha asked, turning to face the hologram.
“I think a lesson has been learned here. I am satisfied, Captain.” Dr Valusia said facing Ansha. She pivoted and faced the two ensigns. “My people have a ritual, it is a beautiful ritual called ‘Sa’Shaal Fasea’, or the Ritual of Apology in Federation Common. Though I will not have you reciting poetry in High Kolari while prostrating at my feet, as much as I would like to see that, I will accept your apologies that you have now said, as I think they are heartfelt. That is the point behind that ritual. To demonstrate a heartfelt apology and to demonstrate an acceptance of that apology.”
Dr Valusia began to recite in Federation Common, her acceptance, but in a meter and flow that was reminiscent of its more formal Vaj Kolari version:
“Cherished fellow officers: I accept your apology with all of my heart and soul.
Mother Goddess: she sees you standing before me seeking absolution as do I.
Mother Goddess: she accepts us all and gives us grace.
As myself: I give you both this grace now, you are forgiven for your sins against me.”
“There, now,” Dr Valusia said with a smile while turning back to Ansha, “I am putting this most unfortunate situation behind me. Unless there’s anything else, I consider my end of this finished.”
“I think we are good, Doctor,” Ansha said. “Thank you so much.” With that, the holographic image disappeared.
Present Day - Dirba, Sikhistan District, Earth
Ansha sat in a small courtyard garden. She was dressed in a floral patterned salwar kameez, or tunic and loose trousers, with sandals on her feet.
She sat on a stone bench with her communicator laying on top of an old book that she had picked up from her father’s library, with a collection of poems by an Earthling poet named Robert Frost. She wasn’t sure why it, a book entirely written in twentieth century English, caught her eye but it did.
The sun was out and the temperature was just right for her. The garden was a colorful display of life and everything was in bloom. She was however fixated on one single flower, where one single bee danced around seeking a way to get its nourishment. The bee was clumsily missing and dodging until finally it found its line and was able to land inside the open petals for a reward worth the struggle.
“The only other sound’s the sweep, of easy wind and downy flake,” she said quietly in an older twentieth century English dialect.
Her thoughts were disturbed by the sound of her communicator’s incoming call beep. She picked it up and looked at the caller’s name. It was Ensign Shar Golatt, a former member of her crew from the USS Ecstasea.
She flipped open the cover and said “Lieutenant Commander Ansha Wind-People speaking.”
“Hi, Captain,” Shar Golatt said. “I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”
“No, Ensign. I am not occupied with anything but, please… I am no longer an acting Captain. Lieutenant Commander is sufficient.”
“Oh, sorry Lieutenant Commander. Force of habit.”
“Understandable,” she said. “I hope you are doing well, Ensign. So, what did you need?”
“Oh, I just wanted to call and thank you.”
“For what, Ensign?”
“For the message you sent me. The letter of condolence for Harper, even though we obviously weren’t related. That was a thoughtful thing to do.”
“Look, Shar, I know you two were close. I was told often how the two of you were roommates at the academy and you have been best friends since. I know that his death is probably weighing heavily upon you. Blood relations or not, you probably feel the same loss that his listed family feels.”
“Yeah, I’m… uh… well, I just didn’t expect you to do that. I would have figured after what happened on Risa you would have been more than happy to forget the both of us.”
“Shar, one of the things about my species is that I can never forget. Furthermore, what you did then was then. We are dealing with the here and now. Both of you were my crew, and under my command. So… there.”
“Thank you,” Shar said. “I will leave you to whatever you are doing now. Just know that I know you’ve done everything you could for us, and I for one appreciate that.”
“Thank you, Shar. You stay safe, alright?”
The call terminated. Ansha sat for a while staring at her phone.
“The darkest evening of the year,” to herself quietly. She grabbed the book, stood up and went back into her family’s house.