The Ansha Tales: Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Stardate: 101072.4, January, 27th, 2425 - Dirba, Sikhistan District, Earth
Warning: Topics include Suicide
SMACK The photonic khanda hit Ansha with a zap. She didn’t flinch though except to acknowledge the hit. Not being human during sparring certainly has advantages in that the normal shock is not painful to a Wind People fungus.
“Point for Doopar Talli Singh. The score is now Doopar Talli Singh, twenty, Ansha Waa de Lok Singh, three.”
Her younger sister, Doopar, paused to look at Ansha and a concerned look on her face then called out “Computer, end simulation.”
Doopar then took her jet black hair out of the bun it was in and let it cascade around her shoulders. Ansha, who had not even bothered with getting her hair out of her face, looked disappointed.
“I am sorry, Doo,” Ansha said sadly. “I am not into this right now.”
Doopar looked at her compassionately and then placed a hand on her shoulder. “That is quite obvious, Ahnnie. We can stop.”
“I am really very sorry that I am not good sport for you,” Ansha said, moving her own hair out of her face. “Maybe you can spar with someone else? Nawa, Bhadhal? Mumhad? He is a challenge with a blade."
“No, no,” Doopar replied, as she grabbed a towel and a water container on a nearby stone bench in the ancient stone fencing room. “Nawa whines too much about me being to hard on him and Mumhad is still trying to ask me out.”
“What is wrong with that?” Ansha asked.
“He is very old fashioned. He says I should leave Starfleet. That it is no place for a ‘proper’ wife. Can you believe that?”
“Well, he is a bit of a dumbass,” Ansha said. “I mean he is the one that said I was wrong for wearing a wig, and dating Rashi that time, and having a skeleton… eh… on second thought, nevermind.”
“Oh yes, and he became even more critical of you after you whipped his ass three consecutive times during Holla Mohalla.” Doopar replied with a subtle tap on Ansha’s arm. Ansha smiled and nodded.
“Ha! Ansha, that made you smile!” Doopar said.
“I guess it did. Happier times, happier experiences.” Ansha grabbed her own drink bottle and sat on the stone bench. Her smile faded away as she stared forward and sighed.
Doopar’s face melted into concern as she sat on the bench next to Ansha. She draped her towel around her neck and then put a hand on Ansha’s thigh.
“Ansha,” Doopar said, “Please tell me what you are thinking. Tell me what is going on in your mind? I have seen you, at night, just sitting on the balcony of our room outside alone. I… have not wanted to bother you because I know you have a lot on your mind, but I am worried. Now please, talk to me. I will not tell mama and papa or anyone what you say. You should talk to someone, and you can talk to me. Now please, what are you thinking?”
Ansha looked down and closed her eyes. She then looked up at Doopar and said “Alright, Doo,” in quiet resignation.
“Do you remember studying the classic poem ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’ by Robert Frost when you were in school?” Ansha asked.
“Yes,” Doopar answered, confused but curious. “What about it?”
“I know what it means.”
“Huh?” Doopar said, head tilted and now very confused.”What do you mean, Ansha? What about it? It has been a while, I do not know if I remember it all.”
“I will recite it… uhm… in twentieth century English, as I think it sounds better that way.”
”Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.”
“My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.”
“He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.”
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”
“Yes, it is a beautiful poem about snow and woods,” Doopar commented “Nothing we have around here. Not quite an epic, but what do you mean when you say you know what it means, though? Am I missing something here? It is just describing a scene, isn’t it?”
“I know neither one of us can claim that language or its linguistic offspring, Federation Common, as our first or even second language, but bear with me, and I will explain.”
Ansha settled herself and thought for a moment. “The verses in the last quatrain, the narrator is staring into the dark woods, and for some reason, without knowing all of the narrator’s thoughts, we are told he thinks to himself ‘BUT I have promises to keep… and miles, or a rather a long distance, to go before I sleep.”
Ansha pauses to let that sink in, then continues, “Doo, he is talking about ending his life there. He is talking about suicide.”
Doopar begins to slowly shake her head which speeds up until she speaks.
“Ansha, no…no… it is about… you really think…? Wait, are you saying that you are going to… kill yourself?”
“No, Doo,” Ansha replied. “I have thought so hard about it, though. As you know my species can just decide to take the final sublime experience, or die rather, by will alone. That is, after all, how we produce offspring. It would be so easy, and my spores would be able to make a new generation. My species would have a larger population.” She chuckled. “You would have so many nieces and nephews.”
“No, Ansha! Stop this talk! I would rather have my sister!”
“Just let me finish, Doo,” Ansha said, taking Doopar’s hands into her own and then smiling. ”I thought about it. I seriously thought about it. The temptation was so strong. It was truly a sublime experience to want to end it all for reasons… that seemed really selfish. I would be free of this shame and pain… this figurative heartbreak… this guilt I feel…”
“That guilt and shame are not justified, Ansha! I read the reports! You did nothing wrong. Your actions as captain saved crew members if anything.”
“I know, I know, that is what the reports say, and that is what the inquiry found, but telling myself that and believing it are two different things. Oh, Doopar, I hope and pray that you never have to go through this. But do you not see? The point I am trying to make is that I have promises to keep, and a long way to go before I sleep, just like the person in the poem.” Ansha smiled. “I have much more to live for.”
“Doo,” Ansha said, “I have you, and Nawahir, and Bhani, and mama and papa, and all my crewmates, all my friends, everyone I know, and Starfleet, and… well you get the point. I have so many more things to do. Many more things to experience. Even though I can not resolve these feelings I feel right now, I know I must stay here. I must remain, whatever happens. It is just what I must do regardless. And I guess I have to have faith that God has something planned. That there is a reason for all this. Maybe as they say, it was the fire that tempers the steel. Maybe it has something to do with that tardigrade that saved me. I do not know. I just have to trust.”
Ansha continued, “I have many promises to keep, my dear sister, and many lightyears to go before I sleep. I will keep those promises and I will travel all those lightyears. I promise you. ”
Doopar raised her arms and pulled Ansha into a hug.
“Don’t you dare ever leave me, Ahnnie. Never. You fight that feeling, because no matter what, you are special. Alright?”
“I do not know about ‘special’,” Ansha replied, as she pulled back from the hug to look her sister in the face. “Unusual maybe. Weird, even.”
“Special to me, weirdo,” Doopar said. “I mean, seriously, Ansha, who else am I going to talk to about dating, and that sort of stuff without getting lectures from mama on being a proper lady?”
“Well, for that reason alone, Doo, I am not going anywhere for a very long time.”
“Good,” Doopar replied. “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat.”
“Let’s go then,” Doopar said, stowing her things hastily into a Starfleet Academy gym bag. “I hear Ahkmah’s has got a new batch of dhal and some of those sweet bread rolls. You know they’ll put it on banyan chips for you.”
“I am there.” Ansha said, stowing her stuff in an old USS Dragon bag. Both walked out arm in arm.
Stardate: 101985 - Drozana Station, Donatu Sector
The older Ferengi shuffled things around on a messy desk as he searched for something. He turned around angrily and yelled out to a back room inside the little shop he ran on Drozana Station.
“Lokka!” he screamed “Are you still playing with that thing? Get in here and clean up this desk!”
The reply was some mumbled barely audible noise made by his nephew, Lokka. This prompted the older Ferengi to walk back into the backroom to see what was going on.
“Lokka!” he yelled. “I told you to get out there and straighten up that mess.”
As he entered his nephew’s makeshift workshop he saw the young Ferengi excitedly hunched over a holographic data feed playing out the dramatic events of a ship being destroyed.
“UNCLE Golli! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!” Lokka yelled out. “This thing we found on the scavenging run the other day? It’s a datacore from a starship!”
The older Ferengi’s mouth dropped wide open. He began to shake his head.
“This… this is a datacore,” Golli said. “Lokka, stop messing with it.”
“What? But why, uncle? This is an incredible find! We could make a lot of money with this.”
“Lokka, listen to me,” Golli said. ”We won’t make money in a Federation prison or worse… dead.”
“What?” Lokka asked, confused. “Why would we end up in prison or dead?”
“That is a Federation starship being destroyed, Lokka.” Golli pointed to another stream of data. “That is telemetry from the same. That means, my ignorant nephew, this is Federation property. Not just that, this is probably the datacore from that Federation starship that blew up a while back. That thing, it’s trouble.”
“Oh,” Golli replied. “Well we could still sell it. I mean this is worth something to someone, and there is more data in there that I haven’t unencrypted yet. This could be a gold mine!”
“No, Lokka. I have contracts with people in Federation space and I aim to keep them. They are guaranteed money. If the Feds find out we have this, and that you have cracked into it, AND we are trying to sell to the highest bidder, we are screwed. I lose my sure bet contracts. I potentially lose my freedom.”
“It gets worse,” Golli continued. “Ya know who else would be interested in this sort of thing and would go to great lengths to get it? The Romulan Star Empire, The Klingons, and who knows who else.”
“Then that means it has a market, uncle.”
“No, that means one or more of those groups would probably kill us and take it. We are witnesses… loose ends. The Romulan Star Empire in particular doesn’t like loose ends. We know what’s on it now and we would know who bought it. Even if they didn’t kill us, once again, I will remind you, there’s the Federation, who always will find out, and will be on us like a sharflies on dakka.”
“No telling how many people you’ve been blathering to about it,” Golli continued.“ Just like my sister, never could keep your mouth shut. Furthermore, now that you’ve cracked into it you’ve probably committed some kinda Federation crime. We gotta destroy this thing. Get rid of it. Do you hear me bonehead? Get… rid… of… it. Oh.. and please tell me you didn’t hook it up to any subspace networks or anything? This thing probably has tracking routines and everything.”
“Well I… But… but…” Lokka stammered, mired in disappointment. “Can’t we… Fine.”
Just then a beep went off to indicate a customer had entered the shop out front. “Oh great… Disconnect that damn thing and hide it right now, Lokka, then get your butt out there and help me. We got customers. We’ll have to deal with this later.” Golli turned and headed back to the front of the shop leaving Lokka to stew in dejection.
“Jolan tru, my friends,” Golli said to the new customers in his usual fake-friendly demeanor. “How can I help you, today? We have a special on only slightly used radionic converters. I know your warbirds could use some of those, couldn’t they?”
“It’s not fair,” Lokka said. He began to disconnect everything and stood up to grab a shielded shipping container to hide the contraband in. As the datacore powered down a small blip on the side scan mentioned an event, which happened before the containment breach but after the initial attack, of a Romulan Star Empire vessel uncloaking, then all went blank.