“So exactly how did Cadet Branck break her toe?” Commander Sh’ow, Sejea asked as she cradled one of the newborns for feeding with one arm, holding a PADD with the other.
On the other side of the video conference, Ansha, Executive Officer and Acting Captain during CMDR Sh’ow’s maternity leave, paused for a moment, almost embarrassed to tell the tale.
“Well, Commander, this is pretty much how it happened…"
a few days earlier
All was quiet onboard the USS Ecstasea. Another routine surveying mission to remap a quadrant during the universe’s onward expanse.
Ansha had settled into her role as acting captain after her first real test, an attempt by the Romulan Star Empire to use her to restart hostilities with the Klingons. It was uncharacteristically sloppy work on the part of the RSE who was usually more subtle. Was it brazen desperation or a half-assed attempt by some splinter group of second rate actors? It was unclear but nonetheless prompted changes to protocols and served as a warning that Wind People were vulnerable to psychological manipulation via external means.
Today was thankfully peaceful though, as it had been after that and first contact with the Kryvelar. Almost boring in fact but still it was nice to get into a routine finally.
Ansha was reviewing status reports with the message alert on her hand held PADD lit up. She smiled and then opened the message.
“Wow, that is a big deck!” she exclaimed out loud her thick Punjabi accent and without warning.
LT Anakkei Solla, the Andorian Tactical Officer, spit coffee on her console
LTJGs Garr and Zachary Sweazey both turned with mouths agape.
The whole bridge was now staring at Ansha.
She looked around at everyone, and said, “What?
“I… uhm… Captain, what are you looking at?” Lt Solla asked as she wiped coffee off of her console.
“A really nice, big deck,” Ansha innocently replied. “I mean it is so huge.”
“Uh, Cap’n,” LTJG Sweazey began in his typical bucolic brogue, “That’s prolly sumpin’ you wanna keep to yourself.”
Ansha was puzzled by this. “Why?”
“Well…,” LT Solla, “with all due respect, Captain, I’m not sure how libertine your people are but that is not really… uhm… what many consider to be… uhm…professional?”
“What?” Ansha replied with a question, “Since when is checking my messages not professional?”
“No, Captain,” LT Barrap answered, “Not checking messages. It’s what you said.”
“What I said?” Ansha replied. “Since when is talking about decks when nothing is going on not necessarily professional? I mean this is a really nice deck. It is so thick… or rather wide is the better word for it. I mean, whew, seriously.”
“An Orion must have sent it,” LT Solla commented with an eye roll. “I am always getting those from the Orions from one of my sim groups.”
“LT Solla,” Ansha said in rebuke, “you get pictures of decks from Orions”
LTJG T’Mar, the Vulcan communications officer of the watch then interrupted, “Sorry, Captain, I think we may have some… localized miscommunication issues”
LTJG Zachary Sweazey, who has known LCDR Wind-People for quite some time now, stood up from the helm station and walked over to the captain’s chair.
“May I see what you’re lookin’ at, Cap’n?” He asked.
“Sure,” Ansha said, still not sure what the problem was. “I have always wanted a deck that big. I would be sitting on it all day!” She held the PADD up for Zachary to see. He started laughing which further confused Ansha as well as everyone else on the bridge. This prompted LT Solla to leave her station to come see, as well as LTJG T’Mar.
Both looked and responded in their own way, with an “Oh… OH!..Oh wow! That is really nice” from Lt Solla and a “Fascinating” from T’Mar.
“Who sent that?” LT Solla asked.
“My friend from the Dragon, Commander Reese,” Ansha replied smiling.
“Isn’t he married?!” a surprised yell from another officer.
LT Solla looked up smiling and shaking her head.
“I like that chiminea,” Zachary Sweazey said.
“The swing is aesthetically and functionally pleasing as well,” replied T’Mar.
Then LTJG T’Mar said “The captain is looking at a picture of a resort cabin that CMDR Reese sent her. It has a large porch with a very functional and relaxing layout.” With that a collective “OH” was let out by the concerned bridge crew.
“Yes,” Ansha said. “A porch, a deck, whatever. It is where CMDR Reese and his wife Heidi are going to vacation with their kids. What did you think I said?”
LT Solla leaned in and whispered in Ansha’s ear which caused Ansha’s eyes and mouth to open wide. She turned her head and looked at Solla. “Really?”
“Yes, Captain,” LT Solla said as she elbowed Sweazey in the side to get him to stop snickering.
“I will never understand what humans find funny,” T’Mar stated.
Just then, Cadet Branck, a freshfaced addition on her senior rotation, entered the bridge from the turbolift with a tray full of coffee cups and a fresh pot, while some of the bridge crew were still surrounding Ansha and looking at the sent pictures on her PADD.
“You have to admit, that is a really huge deck,” Ansha said, eliciting nods from all.
Cadet Branck dropped the entire tray in shock, with the pot of hot coffee bouncing off the toe of her boot then spilling on the floor.
As Ansha finished her tale, Sejea began to giggle, which prompted an embarrassed smile and a shrug from Ansha.
“She is back to work, fully healed, and from now on… I will say ’porch’ instead of ’deck’ when referring to houses.”