..... I donno, it's 6 am and im making breakfast as I type this opening..
Anyway, welcome to a new thread where I, Nimitz, review the least liked Star Trek episode and see of they are actually terrible or not... First up, is the infamous Voyager episode, Threshold. In this thread I shall be watching bad episodes of Star trek, recapping and summarizing them as I watch, and at the end I'll give it my thoughts... feel free to leave me recommendations on which episodes/movies to watch next... my one rule, Code of Honor will not be reviewed.
We open with Paris attempting shuttle testing on warp speeds in the holodeck only to be blown up... not too bad so far... now we have the main credits..
We return to find Tom, B'Elanna, and Harry gathered at Neelix's, talking about why they can't pass the threshold. Neelix, not wanting to be left out, budges in and attempts to help learn how to break warp speed laws. Tom and Harry explain to Neelix they found new magic space rocks to make their ship maybe go voom faster.. Neelix somehow gives Tom an idea. Tom and Harry techobable and neelix is looking like us all in the audience just as confused.
Janeway and Chakotay review the new holodeck simulation in which Tom breaks the warp barrier.. not too bad so far, more techobable, Tom and Harry get permission to actually do the thing... and now Janeway is inflating Tom's ego the size of Jupiter (Nothing can go wrong here).
We now find Tom lounging in his bathrooms when Janeway walks in, and informs Tom that the Doctor wants poor Ensign Harry to make the test flight since he's wearing Gold, the 24th century redshirt. Now Tom is arguing with Janeway about how he was born to make the test flight.. while Janeway realizes she shouldn't have inflated his ego five minutes ago. Oh well, since Tom really wants to do it, Janeway signs off.
Test flight day has arrived, Tom shoots off his smart cocky oneliners while he speeds off in his new speedboat, err... shuttlecraft. Voyager follows behind. Tom speeds off and hits warp ten, everything works for three seconds and Chakotay even cracks a smile... and then Tom's voice goes weird and vanishes from sensors! *cue dramatic fade to black* Oh, he's back, Janeway has Tom beamed to sick bay and is given a rude awakening by the Doctor, how rude. Tom explains what it feels like to be high. Janeway and B'Elanna continue to inflate Tom's ego while the doctor tries to sharpen a pin.
Harry and B'Elenna review the flight logs and see a new way to get home quickly, but Janeway is going power hungry over their newfound technology. Meanwhile, Tom and Neelix try new coffee, and Tom hates the coffee. Tom and B'Elanna plot their new test flight when Tom suffers a reaction to the coffee! or was it something else...
The Doctor claims it's a miracle Tom is still alive after drinking Neelix's coffee.. poor Neelix, he can't catch a break. Oh, turns out that the coffee didn't poison Tom, it was the water inside the coffee! The Doctor realizes that Tom is transforming into something else.
Time for Starfleet edition of Grey's Anatomy, featuring a Radioactive Mutant Tom Paris.. future medical magic techbabble. Tom reflects on his life and wonders what he's accomplished in his life inside his childhood bedroom and then yells about pepperoni pizza before dying. RIP Paris. Doctor and Kes mourn for a second before prepping for autopsy.
Midnight, in the CMO office, The Doctor is working on paperwork when all of the sudden.... Zombie Tom Paris! that is going bald.. Now Tom is alive again with two hearts, Timelord Paris?
Uh... okay, random greedy Ex-maquis engineering crewmen that is selling out the warp ten technology to a random Kazon..
Doctor explains to Janeway that Tom is a mutant with two hearts now. Janeway goes to talk to Tom, who looks like he's been infected with the Section 31 changeling virus now. Janeway explains they are trying to undo Mutant Tom, but Mutant Tom doesn't wanna leave. Mutant Tom loose his tongue... literally. Kes discovered that Mutant Tom is mutating faster. Now Mutant Tom needs to leave Voyager now that he can see though time and space.
The Doctor wants to tie Mutant Tom up and dip him into the warp core to revert him back to normal Tom.. or something along that lines of techobabble? B'Elanna doesn't wanna turn off the warp core for the third time this week. We see Tom has turned into a Salurian and is tied up in front of the warp core. Mutant Tom breaks out of containment and a firefight breaks out in Engineering while the Doctor and Kes watch in horror. (I choose to believe that Mutant Tom killed the greedy maquis dude)
Janeway gears up to take on Mutant Tom but gets ambushed in front of an elevator. Mutant Tom has kidnaps Janeway and puts her in a shuttle and leaves Voyager. Three days later, Voyager finally catches up to their stolen shuttle. Doctor explains that Mutant Tom is actually million years advance form of Human beings. Tuvok and Chakotay beam down to a jungle and find that Humans will be lizards in several million years. Chakotay shoots on sight. Tuvok and Chakotay watch in horror as Janeway and Tom's children hatch from their effs and slither into the pond for safety.. Chakotay wonders in horror how to explain this while Tuvok watches in amusement.
The Doctor explains that he has successfully turned Janeway back into a Human, meanwhile Tom and Janeway awkwardly discuss their kids and agree to never mention this event ever again.
Nimitz's verdict.... Honestly, most of the episode is, not bad, and actually decent, but the last fifteen minutes are pretty WTF just happened. Robert Duncan McNeill's performance is pretty commendable and there are some pretty good Tom Paris moments if nothing else, so, finial rating, 3/5 stars.
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