<<<<< BEGIN TRANSMISSION >>>>>
The transmission opens with a young blonde in leisurewear sitting Indian style on her bed with a guitar in her lap.
“Hey Sis!” She smiles brightly at the screen.
“That sounded pretty damned good! Who do you have playing mandolin for you now? I thought Jack dropped the group? Anyway, as you can imagine they’re keeping me pretty busy here. When I’m not on duty I’ve spent most of the time exploring the station or popping in on operations to see if they need some help. There’s still so much I have to learn about standard station procedures, but I’ve found a little downtime to play. My Bajoran roommate doesn’t seem to complain so I must not be too rusty. Here’s something I scribbled down the other day; let’s see if you recognize the tune.”
She begins to sing.
//Tempo-145 bmp / Jaunty//
Well it was on this Monday morning and the day’d been comin’ fine.
To the lounge for drinks’ excursion with the boys to have a time.
When just before this sailor, a distance gangway to a pier,
Approached a Lieutenant Commander with her pretty pointy ears.
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey. Hey!
//E major - 4 bars (fuzzy major power-chords from here on out)//
E
With twenty thousand souls aboard, oh what a splendid sight:
B A E
Her lithely face and figure to make my spirits bright.
E A E
She only cocked an eyebrow to the funny things I’d say.
A E B E
My jokes had found no purchase though did not turn her away.
E
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
B A E
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
E A E
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
A E B E
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey. Hey!
//E - 4 bars//
My cajolery got no better. She turned to sip her dr’een.
I mustered up me courage sluggin’ on me kerosene.
The more I tried to foment, no more puerile was her face.
I’d improve that disposition if she’d indulge me one embrace!
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey. Hey!
//E - 4 bars//
She conveyed no adulation. My Valore darling dear.
Inscrutable, stoic, stolid. From ear to caval-ear.
I tried every embellished line I could, tried every store and shop,
To garner her affection and make that spirit hop.
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey. Hey!
//Bridge - 16 bars//
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey. Hey!
//E - 4 bars//
She cast off from the table as my wind was comin’ back.
She’d deflected all of my coquetry into the heavens black.
So still I am a single lass in search of her pretty face.
If the woman would say she loves me I would outrank her Admiral’s place.
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey. Hey!
“Oh me! Oh my!” I heard my own heart cry.
Oh me! Oh my! I think I’m gonna die!
Oh me! Oh my! I’ll never forget the day
When I was introduced to the lovely Vulcan Valor-ey!
A woman’s voice erupts in uproarious laughter from off-screen. “You’re pathetic!”
<<<<< END TRANSMISSION >>>>>