
To:All Hands
From: CAPT Tohanna, Reggie
Subj: Burnt popcorn in the mess hall lounge

All Hands,
While I can appreciate the smell and taste of freshly popped pop corn just like anyone born and raised on Earth, et al, I, just like many, detest the smell of burnt popcorn. It’s like an olfactory angel of death. It is a smell that permeates a small ship like this so thoroughly that even with our air scrubbers on max output, it can linger for many shifts following.
When I requisitioned the popcorn maker, I never imagined that someone would set it for max power, 10 minutes, and then get distracted counting green tiles on the wall, or a social media post, or a quick visit to retrieve your seasoning salt then getting sidelined when someone asks you about your ski trip to Andoria, or whatever is happening to make you forget your precious snack. Well, it better stop.
If you cannot operate the Mk 29 Popcorn Popper Deluxe with optional buttering tray properly, with your full attention, then perhaps you should use the replicator instead.
The next person who does this will not only lose their popcorn popper privileges until they can demonstrate a successful knowledge check on operation of said device, but they will also have to serve two shifts in the Skippy the Skipjack mascot suit next family day.
Sincerely,
//SIGNED//
Captain Reggie Tohanna
Commanding Officer,
USS Skipjack, NCC-99585
—