BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS
“Tuesday there was a massive leak of information that tells of massive and intentional acts of genocide committed by the oligarchic Janessen-Yashal Mining Company, which operates within Romulan and Klingon space. This information was published on many information feeds by an enigmatic source who goes by the name ‘From The Grove’”
“Public affairs officers within the company released the following statement:”
We categorically deny these audacious accusations against our
esteemed company. These are absolute lies, most likely made
by our competitors, and if we find out who is making these false
claims, we will bring defamation charges in every jurisdiction in
which we hold charters.
Our company operates at the highest levels of integrity and
has always treated each planet we visit with love, respect, and
dignity. Our business dealings are always honest. We believe
firmly in our founders', Evan Janessen, Sr, and Gar Yashal,
guiding philosophy of principles above profits and integrity
above self interests.
For 55 years our company has worked within the
boundaries of our operating charters, and in some cases
going above and beyond to ensure we do not spoil the
natural habitats we find. In fact, our survey teams work
closely with xeno-scientists across the Beta Quadrant to
catalog all species of flora and fauna that we come across.
Our commitment is to the inhabitants of the galaxy, and to
the life we discover. Life is important to us as is the quality
living we bring to all of you.
Evan Janessen, Jr
“Meanwhile, there is no real word on the apparent sudden deaths of 5 of the companies top executives. So far these deaths have been listed as accidents in 3 cases and natural causes in the remaining 2. Sources we have been in touch with are unwilling to speculate if the leak and these deaths are related.”
YOUR FEEL GOOD MOMENT OF THE DAY
“In other news, we have a feel good story. A species that was at first thought lost, The Wind People, or Euscamycetal Sympophaticus as UFP xeno-biologists labeled them when finding one of their species, Ansha Wind-People, now a decorated Starfleet officer, floating frozen in a rescue capsule near Federation space, about 13 years ago.”
“We reached out to Doctor Vakmar Singh, a retired Starfleet Captain now practicing medicine in Dirba, Punjab, Earth, and Ansha’s guardian since her discovery had this to say:”
'Pramātamā nē sānū isa dina dī barakata ditī hai! I am
so happy for her. Though my wife and I will always give
her a home and she will always be part of our family,
it makes me happy that she has located her others of
her own species... her people... the Wind People.'
“Though government officials on Risa, the up until now hidden location of the ‘Wind People Collective’, the group of fungal colonies that live communally, did not approve our request to visit the Island known as the ‘Sweet Wood Island’ where the collective resides, we were able to briefly interview Lieutenant Wind People and her ‘brother’ Charvas Aukle-Wiish.”
“Charvas Aukle Wiish had this to say:”
"This is greatest day ever. So sublime. I finally shared
with the collective. I mean, I got to ride on space ships...
A train too... A got on a powerboard... Ansha won't let me
use a floater anymore cuz I hit a tree and knock it over
on to a fruity drink stand. It was an accident. I got this
cool shirt! It's got women dancing that look like my mom.
I drank an IPA, without alcohol... and I was in a space
battle last week, and then I got to share all that with the
Collective. I just wish Evoch was here." waves at camera
"Hey, Evoch, if you're listening, we miss you, brother."
“Lieutenant Wind-People, in her dress whites uniform and escorted by a UFP public affairs officer, while quite happy about her experiences that day, was more pragmatic when asked what it was like to be a rare species:”
"Oh, I am very happy today. I do want to point out
there were many people who made this day possible
and without them it would not have happened. I am
forever in debt to them. Regardless, I am not by any
means special. No more than you, and any else here.
I am Starfleet Officer, first and foremost, and not
distinguished by my species. That is the most
important thing to me. I have no more comments
on this. Thank you."
“She has apparently rejected request to leave her current command onboard the USS Dragon, to become a spokesperson for The Wind People Collective with Starfleet, citing there is much to do in her current job. As she further stated, ‘My place is there and I like to get my hands dirty.’”
“And though Lieutenant Wind-People is a Starfleet officer, it should noted that the collective has, through their Vulcan intermediary, Jarkael, stated that they are for the time being remaining neutral but are willing to meet with representatives of all parties and alliances throughout the galaxy.”