Personal Log: H'Ltol Sh'ow

HLtol · July 17, 2024, 7:30pm

Personal Log

The log begins with H’Ltol sat at the chair behind his desk in his ready room, the Caitian looking around the somewhat damaged remains on the room, as he sipped from a cup he had in his left hand, wincing a little as he did so from injuries that had not quite healed

“Second Mission as Captain… and I get people killed, good officers killed… all because I tried to save lives on other ships… and didn’t focus on my own crew… just what the crew needs… a captain that puts them in harms way”

H’Ltol is seen staring at a photo frame on his desk, with the picture hidden from view of the console camera, but the frame has clearly suffered damage during the last battle

“Even as I wrote the twenty-eight letters, with the help of the appropriate department head, I struggled to put into words how sorry I was for the families that had lost someone… all I could tell them was that the losses where not in vain and the war is over… and lives where saved… but I doubt that is any comfort… I would have held a service for the crew… but other than repairs and an inspection the ship isn’t suitable for much else”

A loud audible sigh is heard then a lengthy pause before H’Ltol carries on

“All I can do is try and remember what dad told me years ago… when I first transferred to Command ‘Just remember son… rule one, people under your command die and rule two… no matter how hard you fight or try… you can’t change rule one’”

“Yeah… he tried to warn me… but I was too stubborn… same as always… I wanted the big chair… now I just need to suck it up… lean on my training… and be the best Captain I can… to that end… me and the XO are currently working out a Rota so we can both get down to Risa… I am hoping to get at least some time to meet the people I have been working with in person rather than faces on a view screen”

H’Ltol looks at the photo frame again as he sighs once more and gives a sound which almost sounds like a soft mew

“The fresh air and sun will do me good right? mixing with people… seeing new faces… just need to remember to take more time brushing the sand out of my fur this time”

H’Ltol stands up from his desk, in a loose fitting white long sleeved T-Shirt and a pair of loose fitting white trousers, almost as if he has only just gotten out of sickbay

“I better go get changed… hopefully I can get down to Risa soon… Computer… end log and set myself a reminder to get a new photo frame whilst I am on leave”

After a few seconds the Computer beeps and closes the log, just as H’Ltol’s ready room door can be heard opening then closing again

HLtol · July 29, 2024, 6:37pm

Recording

The Log begins with, H’Ltol sat in his quarters behind his console at his desk and he sighs contently smiling happily as he did so, leaning back against his chair, before he carefully sips his water from the glass he had in his left hand

“Well… I was almost late back from leave… the look on Jack’s face as I came back almost looking disappointed to be going back to Duty… The look on C’Roren’s face… I am sure C’Roren nearly fainted…”

He stops, adjusting the new frame he had bought on leave, and looked over a second empty one and purrs softly

“Maybe I can…”

Before he can finish his sentence, his console starts to beep repeatedly with an incoming call

“Computer… pause log and open call”

The computer beeps however unknown to H’Ltol the console was still recording the call and himself as part of the log due to a computer error, and after a few moments the call connects, with female grey furred Caitian appearing on the screen who looked alot like H’Ltol

H’Ltol “Hello Rria… I am surprised by your call… nothing is wrong is it?”

Rria “Hey… can’t I call my little brother just to see how he is?” she purrs gently as she looks to him “Plus… you promised to let us know you where safe… with everything that was going on… we heard reports… but… nothing to say you where alright”

H’Ltol Nods slowly and gives a soft sigh “Sorry… after the war wrapped up… there was shore leave… and I was focused on recovering from the last battle…” despite his sigh he had a large smile on his face

Rria she tilts her head and raises what looks like her left eyebrow “Yeah recovering I bet… though I haven’t seen you smile like that since the Gamma… even when you where promoted to Captain you never smiled like that… care to tell me?”

H’Ltol He chuckles nervous and rubs the back of his head “No… idea what your talking about… it was just shore leave… no big deal… met some of the fleet mates… think I made a few new friends…”

Rria She giggles and then a loud two beeps where heard, as if the computer was censoring something “Oh… that was censored… I forgot that doesn’t translate well… Come on… out with it… it is nice to see you so happy… after all that has happened… come on… spit it out… or do I need to come there and start showing people cub pictures of you?.. you know I know where Mam hides the real embarrassing ones of us all” she stuck her tongue out at her brother

H’Ltol He narrows his eyes at her and mews softly “I… met someone… alright?.. I met someone… who… I took a special liking too… we… errr… spent time together… seemed to hit things off…” he smiles even more just saying it made him smile and purr, with him purring loudly as he did so

Rria She makes a slight chirping sound as she claps her hands together “Wow… you finally met someone… do tell… what they are like?.. are they cute?..and of course, most importantly, how annoyed is Mam gonna be?” she sticks her tongue out again

H’Ltol He takes a deep breath and purrs again as he looks at his sister “She… is very smart…alot smarter than me… funny… at least I find her funny… she is great company… amazing… and lots of other words… oh she also puts up with me… so that is a major point… and to that last one… she is Bajorian”

Rria She smiles widely and giggles softly “It was the nose creases wasn’t it?” she joked as she giggles a little more “Anyway… enough beating around it… come on… what is her name?.. is she part of the fleet your with? is she ship staff?”

H’Ltol he chuckles softly and sighs contently and purrs happily “They are very cute on her yes… and her name is Kala Sejea… still getting used to the family name first thing… she is another ship CO… and yes she is a new comer to the 38th… she joined just as Shore leave kicked off… so we met there”

Rria grins widely and looks to her brother “Explains the happy smile… and don’t worry you will get used to it… provided this is serious and not just a one time thing…” she seemed to frown for a moment at the thought but then smiles “She sounds like a fine women… and hey don’t beat yourself up… your not that bad company… in small doses” she giggles again and purrs softly

H’Ltol he purrs softly then hearing what his sister said he looks down for a moment and sighs softly “I… hope it isn’t a one time thing… I… like her… alot… and want to see where things take us…” he looks to his sister on the screen “I… haven’t been this happy in awhile…”

Rria she smiles warmly and purrs gently “As I said… not since the Gamma… but that wasn’t your fault…and neither was that guy on the Vanguard… he was an arse… after all he gave you that scar over your eye…” she folds her arms and grunts “Had I been there… I would have made him regret that… no one hurts my brother… though…” she smiles warmly “I might not be the only one…”

H’Ltol he nods slowly and purrs gently as he sighs and twiddles his thumbs a little as he looks to the console "What… if I mess this up?.. like I did my first command… and everything else before hand… " he sighs softly and looks down doubting himself at the moment

Rria She smiles warmly and purrs gently “I… bet Dad would have liked her… if he had the chance to meet her I mean… she sounds nice… and hey you didn’t mess anything up… you know sometimes… for a Captain you really lack confidence… cheer up… she clearly likes you enough to put up with you… that is something…” Rria has some beeping going off in the background of her side "Look… I need to get going… we are rather busy here at the moment but I want to hear more about her later when I have more time… and I want to meet her at some point… if things go well of course… and just remember what Dad said… you will be fine… you big softie… "

H’Ltol he looks to his sister and sighs softly “Yeah… well can’t be confident all the time… this is uncharted waters for me… but yeah… I will see what happens… and… see how things go… that is really all I can do…” He gives a small smile as he sighs again

Rria She stands up and smiles at her brother, still dressed in her medical uniform “Look… you big fuzz ball… relationships take effort… put it in… and you will get plenty out. You got this… you made Captain… now time for you to think of yourself just that little bit. Oh… before I forget… if she gets to meet Mam… call me… I want to see that… I love seeing her reaction” she giggles and smiles at her brother “But… in all seriousness… take care of yourself… and Sejea… hopefully I can meet her someday… because if she puts up with you… she must be blessed by the Prophets themselves” she sticks her tongue out at H’Ltol again before she then ends the call as she walks off back to her duties

There was a long silence, as H’Ltol hadn’t worked out the console had been still recording and he sighs softly as he leans back and closes his eyes being deep in thought, almost lost in his own mind, before after about five silent minutes he spoke “I… should really check in with my senior staff… will call a meeting and sort that out… back to work for the moment… professional cat…”

H’Ltol glances down at the console as he sits up and chuckles softly “It… was recording… great… ain’t gonna delete this… was nice to tell someone… computer… remind me to ask the Chief for someone to take a look at this”

he stands up slowly as he stretches “Computer… end log… or recording I guess… and signal the senior officers I want reports on our status…” he glances at the empty photo frame on his desk and rubs his chin “Hmmm… maybe… if I asked…”

As H’Ltol heads into the bedroom area of his quarters the Recording ends, the sounds of loud content purring being all the computer picks up

HLtol · May 23, 2025, 10:40pm

Personal Log

The Log begins with, H’Ltol sat not in his quarters but in his room in his family house back on Cait, with him sat at his desk where his personal console was, with a mug in his left hand, which he sipped from letting out a relaxed sigh

“Well… I am home… only for a day or two, not that Rria is complaining… she seems to enjoy me visiting… always more questions from her… and more stories she wants to hear”

He stops, adjusting a photo frame on his desk as he puts the mug down purring gently

“Not been back since that visit at Christmas… but… I felt this trip was needed… ever since my trip to the wormhole… I have been having bad dreams… and not my normal ones… about the borg… Sonva… and Sejea…”

He would pause briefly as he heard his sister shouting something up to him from downstairs, before he then shouted back

“I will be down in a moment… stop fussing… I can eat later…”

H’Ltol would adjusting himself in his seat and purr softly again

“Always worrying about my eating… but anyway… my nightmares… I normally don’t take stock in bad dreams… but these… where different… personal… too… focused to… just be worries…”

H’Ltol would rub his eyes slowly as he sighed gently

“I had a house… on Bajor… three amazing kids… I was a fair bit older than I am now… Sejea… was working in a lab in the house… some people approached… I told the kids to go inside to their mother… and then… once they did… bang… bang… bang… bang… all gone… then they come after me… I get hit… and before I die… a Ferasan stands over me… and says something… about my family needs to pay… then… I wake up… in a panic…”

Some more shouting could be heard, but this time in a more masculine voice, most likely H’Ltol’s grandfather K’Nia but given shortly after someone else shouted back, it was not likely directed at H’Ltol, who was just chuckling softly during this

“Sometimes… I miss being home…”

He paused again, taking a sip from his mug as he signed

“Don’t know… maybe I am over thinking it… but I came here… to try and access old family records… stuff stored in the main archives in the Capital… Rria has been coming with me… Kinda… wish Sejea was here instead… might help with my worries… and make it easier for me to dismiss this all as just a bad dream…”

H’Ltol seemed to stare at one of the photos on his desk, before then turning to look out the large glass doors that would lead out to the balcony just outside his room, that overlooked the surrounding valley and mountains

“I mean… kids… me and her… possible yes… one day… but so soon… no unlikely… she is too focused on work… not seen her since she took off on her last mission… had hoped she would have been back by now”

H’Ltol stood up and stretches gently, as he walked towards the large glass doors he was previously looking out of, before then looking at his bed, one that hadn’t been used in a number of months

“Last time I was here was with her… never been happier than I am with her… I feel bad saying it… but not even Sonva… made me feel this way… just wish we did have a little more time together… that doesn’t make me a bad guy… does it?”

H’Ltol rubs his eyes softly and purrs gently shaking his head chuckling as he did so

“Maybe… when I get back… I should book in with Lt K’Sarra again… I could use someone to help me sort my head out… need to stop putting it off… not anymore… I need to do better… maybe the Doc would help me believe this is all just some bad dream… and no one is after me…”

H’Ltol would return to his seat infront of the console and purrs gently as he then stretches a little

"But well… for now… a few days at home… my crew can handle themselves… if anyone needs me I am still only a call away… though I should check in on my pilot… P’Nau Hsoia… she was nervous about flying the Captain… but apparently had her on busy on the planet so jumped at the chance… "

There was then a knock at H’Ltol’s bedroom door which caused H’Ltol to pause for a moment

“Well… that is the dinner bell… I better get going… maybe the archives will shed some light on things tomorrow… computer… end log”

The console would beep, and shut down just as H’Ltol got up and walked from his bedroom door

Addition

The Log begins with, H’Ltol sat on his bed in his room, with a padd resting on his face

“Well… The archives where a bust… apparently some stuff going back to when my Grandad… was young and before that are highly classified by the order of the Caitian government”

He stops, and moves the padd off his face and sighs gently as he sits up, sniffling up a little

“Still smells of her… but anyway… that doesn’t help my worries… I asked the attendant if there was any other details, he just said to go talk to my Grandad… he would know…”

He growls softly and slams his fist against his bed before he stands up slightly angered

“And of course… all I got was, that the family was on a special assignment for the government at the time”

H’Ltol sighs and rubs his eyes as he moved to sit back down on his bed

“Either way… I didn’t find anything to make me worry… but not anything to ease my mind either… I should just stop taking stock in these dreams… and focus on the future…”

H’Ltol moved to lay back on his bed and purrs gently as he then smiles warmly

“Computer… end log… and set an alarm call for 0700 tomorrow… shuttle leaves early”

The computer beeps and the log ends, just as the sun started to set at the end of the day*

HLtol · June 7, 2025, 7:42pm

Personal Log

H’Ltol would be sat at the desk in his quarters on the Defender, rubbing his eyes softly as he was dressed in a white T-Shirt and a black pair of jeans “So… I am back… despite the efforts of some officers in this fleet…” he growls loudly and throws his mug across the room sending it crashing against the nearby wall

H’Ltol stares at the smashed mug and the liquid spilling over the carpet in his room and he sighs “Yet… I am hearing reports and rumors about the fact Sejea’s actions are being questioned…” he then stands up and grunts as he puts his hands on his desk to steady himself “Yeah… the one of maybe two people that wanted me back… is getting questioned… whilst the Squad CO I have… fired torpedoes at the damn station… and could have killed me… yeah… that is fine…”

He snarled loudly and can be heard smashing up his room, including ripping furniture to pieces, and even ripping furniture that was bolted down off it’s housings and throwing it around the room, he would soon be on the floor of his ruined room, leaning against a wall as he sobbed softly “I… could… have died… could… have lost everything…”

There was a ring of the chime on his door, H’Ltol glances over and calls out “Go away… leave me alone!” he said as he heard the door chime ring again as he closes his eyes and whimpers

R’Nol calls out from behind the door “H’Ltol… damn it let me in… Kas called me… said he heard smashing… and despite everything I am still less likely to get attacked than anyone else…”

H’Ltol sighs softly and looks towards the door “Fine… computer unlock the door…” he said as he leaned back against the wall he was near and then closed his eyes again

R’Nol the tall grey Caitian, who seemed to almost be H’Ltol’s twin, apart from a patch of white fur around his right eye, where H’Ltol had his scar, soon entered and moved to sit next to his older brother “So… get that all out of your system?”

H’Ltol looks around his ruined room and frowns softly as he nodded “I… guess… doesn’t feel any better though…” he leaned on his brother a little “Why… are you even back?”

R’Nol puts an arm around his brother and sighs softly “I heard what happened at Christmas… how you stood up to Mam for Sejea… figured I should come home… reconnect with people… shame I didn’t time it better… plus… being an uncle to kids is hardly a chance you pass up”

H’Ltol whimpers softly and sighs gently “I… was the last to find out huh?” he said as he rubs his eyes where tears where falling from

R’Nol shrugs gently and purrs softly “Well… Mam… doesn’t know… and I doubt Granma and Grandad know yet… you only found out when you did cause of what happened… ain’t your fault… but…” he glances around the room “I noticed all the photos of you, Sejea and Loto are all untouched…”

H’Ltol whimpers again and looks down at the floor “Couldn’t… bring myself to damage them… I still love her… as much as the day I met her… maybe… more so now.” he looks to R’Nol and mews gently “I am gonna be a Dad… to three cubs…”

R’Nol ruffles his brother’s hair and then slowly sits up a little as he chuckles gently and smiles “There we go… focus on the positives big bro… took Mam two times to get that many cubs… so… you going to find out the genders and stuff before they are born?”

H’Ltol sits up and fiddles with his thumbs a little “I… guess we will see what Sejea wants… but I am happy to wait till they are born… male… female… I don’t really care… they will be cute and lovable no matter what… and I will love them no matter what happens…”

R’Nol slowly stands up and offers his left hand to H’Ltol “Up you get big guy, lets get cleaned up… she still needs to see your ship… and you need to be ready to get back our there… you have a crew that are eager…”

H’Ltol took his brother’s hand and slowly stood up sighing gently “Yeah… she hasn’t had a chance to visit yet…” he squeezes his brother’s hand gently “What… if she takes the cubs and leaves?”

R’Nol squeezes his brother’s hand softly and purrs gently “You… two are married no? like… back home… the mate marks Rria told me about?.. so why would she run away?”

H’Ltol sighs and rubs the back of his head blushing gently “Yeah… I marked her… at Christmas… but well it is just an old tradition… doesn’t really matter in the eyes of Federation law… I doubt she would marry me… traditional if I asked her…”

R’Nol rolls his eyes and punches his brother hard and grunted “Damn it man… get that Ferasan out of your head… she is crazy about you… she broke her medical orders to be there to get you home… she is prepared to face whatever comes to stand by you… now you need to be ready to be there for her…”

H’Ltol grunted and rubs his jaw sorely as he was struck by his brother and looked to him “I… know damn it… but if I run into the Admiral’s office and try to help I will make it worse… all I can do is get better… get back in the chair… and glue myself to her as much as possible…”

R’Nol moved to start cleaning up the room as he sighs softly “Yeah… I know… but back home… this kind of closeness even at work is accepted and expected of couples… but as long as you two ain’t in a situation like that again… you should be fine to work together”

H’Ltol moved to start helping his brother “Honestly… rules be damned… she is carrying my cubs… my ship is near her’s as long as it takes… and I will help her on any mission I can… professional on the bridge… her husband in the bedroom and private… the crew have my back on this”

R’Nol nods slowly and purrs gently as he started to help put the room back together and chuckles softly “Yeah… I saw them running drills… though you are going to need some help bolting things back and fixing some of the furniture in here…”

H’Ltol sighs softly and nods slowly as he then stops by the broken glass table in his room “Yeah… shouldn’t take long… I will have it fixed before she visits… so… how did things go with you and P’Tashar?”

R’Nol sighs softly as he stood by the still locked door that connected H’Ltol’s room to the one next to it “P’Tashar… wanted one thing… I wanted another… so… I left… and decided to come home… now I am posted to the Ecstasea… should be fun”

H’Ltol nods slowly and purrs gently as he frowns softly “I am sorry… maybe you will find someone new here… but for now… how… about we go… get a meal?” he asks softly as he moved towards his door “That way… engineers can move in and change things whilst I am out”

R’Nol moved to join his brother and stretches a little “Sure… I could eat… you gonna tell me what the locked room is?” he asks tilting his head

H’Ltol chuckles softly and steps out of his room “Not until Sejea knows about it… she is first…” he said as the log ended

Both brothers could be seen leaving the Defender Captain’s quarters with the console beeping loudly as it shut the recording down