Personal Log: Sedai, Katriel

A Compendium of Sh’Varanism Myths: Mirab’s Milky Way.

In the time before mortals had reached the stars, there were three friends. The demi-god Mirab was the son of a known warrior-god and was therefore destined to join the Great War of the Titans. But Mirab had spent his youth with two dear others, Narcissus and Psyche, and so when it came time for the demi-god to travel to the Veil to join the battle, the three of them went together.

They trekked over miles of road, climbed a mountain or two, then passed through the forbidden forest before finally arriving at the edge of a great river. Unlike normal rivers, this one’s currents were completely still and when one gazed into its waters, there was nothing reflected back.

“This is where we part,” Mirab said as he turned away from the water’s edge to regard his friends sadly.

“Will you return?” Psyche asked tentatively, fearful of the answer.

“I intend to,” was all Mirab could say.

The three said their goodbyes and then Mirab stepped up to the water’s edge. He took a deep breath then, with no hesitation, dove gracefully into the still surface. The water parted to accept him and the darkness swallowed him whole. Narcissus and Psyche were silent as the river’s surface calmed once again.

“He will return,” Narcissus responded with confidence, his eyes never leaving the still surface of the water.

“Even if he does, he may be so changed that things will never return to the way they were,” Psyche responded, wringing her hands.

“He will be enough the same that when he returns, we will be able to find ourselves again,” Narcissus retorted.

“Perhaps,” Psyche answered. She stood indecisively on the riverbank, while Narcissus indolently sat at the water’s edge. The two waited and waited, though Mirab had never indicated he would return soon. So intent on staring into the depths, Narcissus did not notice as the time passed and sun disappeared beyond the horizon, leaving them surrounded by darkness. Nor did he notice Psyche quietly slipping away into the forest or he might have cursed her for her capriciousness, for her lack of faith that their friend would return.

An inexorable time later, Narcissus knew not how long had passed, a hot and flaring pinprick on his bare shoulder made him yelp in pain. He looked up to see Psyche standing over him, with an oil lantern hanging from a pole in her hands and an apologetic look on her face.

“Sorry!” Psyche exclaimed, retreating a step. The lantern swayed in its cradle. Narcissus glared reproachfully as he rubbed the burning sensation out of his skin. Then he eyed the lamp with skepticism.

“What is that for?”

“For Mirab,” she explained quietly. “So he can see the way back.”

Narcissus stared at the lantern, then into the dark water below. Indeed, perhaps the lantern would be useful in guiding their friend home, he thought as Psyche carefully planted the pole into the ground, so the lantern stood freely, casting its light out onto the water’s surface. But would it be enough?

“That’s a good idea,” he said and he gathered a large, flat leaf on the ground to him. With a few swift manipulations, he had folded the bit of greenery into the shape of a boat. Psyche watched as he stole a bit of oil and flame from the lantern, barely enough for a candle, and set it boldly on his creation.

Then he set the little boat on the surface of the river and gave it a gentle push to cast it off. The leaf-boat drifted outward, a small flickering beacon in a river of darkness.

“We will light a path for him,” Narcissus spoke with reassurance as he began to fold another boat. Psyche eventually sat and joined him, and the two friends began casting boat after boat onto the river, filling it with little points of light.

To this day, the two continue to cast boats of candlelight out onto the river of the Veil, waiting for Mirab to return.

She quietly drifted awake as warmth tickled her feet. Fairy had wound her way up onto the chaise lounge and had been unsuccessfully attempting to settle herself on the betazoid’s outstretched legs. Katriel took stock of her surroundings, a PADD resting on her stomach where it had tilted over when she had prematurely fallen asleep. She turned the device on to examine what she had been reading just before, before setting it to the side and creakily rising from her languor. The little black feline verbalized a complaint at being displaced again, but the counselor just scooped up the creature and headed quietly into her bedroom. To sleep for real, this time.

“Computer, lights, please.”

be-boop.

Thanks, Davin.

13 Likes

#2

I have been trying to keep busy. Recreationally, that is.

Now that the winter holoprogram is on, I’ve traded in some of my regular fencing hours for ice skating instead, which has been a fairly decent distraction, since it’s less solitary. Even gave a fellow fleet acquaintance some assistance in learning to skate, though he was very, very green, so he likely would have improved at the same rate without my particular advice.

I have also been engaging in more leisure games. Do you remember the lakeside holoprogram we found around Halloween? There was that entire shelf of board games and similar in the cabin there? Neema and I and another Captain (the same one who needed ice skating help; I don’t think you’ve met) went to look through their collection and we tried a new game for fun.

At least, I had fun; the other two admittedly seemed to become a bit hyperfocused on getting revenge on one another when they realized they could sabotage each others’ progress. I knew Neema was competitive, but really.

(Also, we discovered some really strange visual errors on the holoprogram. I better remember to report that after I finish writing here.)

I even let Neema drag me to one of Captain Desimone’s awful movie nights. That was … well, different. But it did get me thinking that maybe the morale division might like to do something seasonal song related. I know you teased me about caroling last year and I admit that’s not really my thing, but maybe there’s something similar that would be appropriate.

… Off to go make that report, I suppose. Miss you.

14 Likes

#5

I received my present from the Gift Exchange earlier tonight. We are, of course, not supposed to know the identity of the gifter, but sometimes the nature of the gift is such that it ends up being a bit obvious who might be responsible. Such is the case for me, this year, apparently. I’ll admit that it’s not a terribly useful gift (to me), but I made the best of it, I think.

There was, though, also, a rather unique snowglobe included, which I love quite a bit. The snowfall looks more like a transporter beam than basic snow and the scene inside phases between three settings, like a sort of 3D slideshow. A bit hard to describe.

Do you ever have times where the same thing seems to be happening everywhere around you? Only they’re happening to different people and they’re not really the same, so there’s no way any of it is related, and yet you can’t help but notice a pattern.

I know I’ve spoken to you about Lieutenant James Kermit before. He and his girlfriend just became engaged, and Emery and I happened to be fortunate enough to witness the proposal from afar. I can’t help but smile, thinking about it. I suppose I have always felt some tiny modicum of responsibility for James, ever since he first came aboard station and crossed my path as a fresh Ensign, dazed and eager to impress. But he’s come a long way since then and though it’s really not my place, I feel proud and pleased and happy for him and the path he’s found for himself. It really seems to suit.

On the other end of the spectrum, though, it seems as though Neema and Coby have

::the letter continues on the back::

formally parted ways. She dropped in on me last night and we talked about it. She’s unhappy, but ultimately it was mutual, a shared concern that the uncertain time apart would be too taxing and unfair on both of them. I both relate and don’t, funnily enough.

We commed in for delivery from an ice cream place in the commercial zone and watched a sappy movie in my quarters. And I think she went home feeling a bit less sorry for herself as a result. I hope, anyway.

And then somewhere in between, I have acquaintances who are entangled in one of the most hopelessly confused romantic relationships I have ever seen. They seem more than a little beyond my help, to be honest. Sigh.

You and I should really visit the ice cream place when you come back. Despite the name, they do have chocolate.

15 Likes

#9

My brother is here.

Apparently Starfleet is thinking about terraforming a planet in the Waydis system and the Sirocco was the vessel selected to come investigate and maybe lead that effort. The project itself has stalled, but in the meantime, the Sirocco is on planet scraping duty, which means Brian is basically able to visit the station every day. And if the project is approved, it means he’ll be in the area for the next half a year or maybe even longer.

Of course I find him to be a little exasperating on occasion, but mostly I’m happy and a bit relieved to have him nearby. And he seems to feel the same, about the relief part, that is.

He is also just flat out enjoying himself. The station is brand new to him and he loves to explore, so by extension, I am also finally learning more about the decks that I have never previously visited. He has also demanded to meet all of my friends and immediately volunteered to help deliver exchange gifts. I could almost be jealous of how easily he integrates himself around other people. I suppose some days I actually am.

Anyway. It’s lucky timing in general, I feel, and saves us both the trouble of taking leave to gather for the holidays. Although I suppose we both might still try to visit our parents once before the year is over… maybe.

Hope you’re doing well. Miss you, a lot.

13 Likes

Nethali Aster snores like a woolly mammoth that has swallowed a warp core.

In the end, with the Nimbosian woman fit to fall asleep right there in the hallway, Katriel felt like there was no other alternative than to bring Nethali to her own quarters for the night. The hour was too late for the counselor to feel remotely mentally prepared to fill out the necessary paperwork for ops to assign guest quarters and, after the procedure Nethali just went through, it seemed more likely than not that she would need another sentient to keep an eye on things, just in case.

It was a long walk back to her quarters. At least Nethali had been drowsing the entire time, so they were relieved of any awkward small talk. Not that Nethali did small talk.

The Betazoid shooed Fairy off the chaise lounge (she definitely wasn’t going to give up her own bed to this woman, no matter how sick) and lowered the basically unconscious woman onto it, carefully collecting and distributing her lax limbs into comfortable positions for optimal circulation. Katriel wasn’t certain what was entailed in the procedure that Doctor Pohl had initiated (she’d remedy that tomorrow), but at least there seemed some common sense steps to take. She collected a blanket and spread it over the prone woman.

No longer being forced to hobble along, Nethali had promptly fallen asleep. Katriel eyed the other woman’s sleeping countenance for a few speculative moments. Would she be hungry or thirsty? Would she want a change of clothes? Or would she chafe at the implication of weakness and run out the door the moment she woke? Maybe Katriel would come out of her bedroom in the morning and find nothing but a slightly wrinkled blanket and a puddle of vomit on her carpet?

Hopefully not.

Katriel stepped towards the replicator and quietly put in a few successive orders: a bottle of water, a packet of saltine crackers, and a plain plastic tub that would hopefully save her some carpet cleaning. Fairy had just started to inspect the interloper who had taken her sleeping space as Katriel finished arranging these items within Nethali’s easy reach, when the unconscious woman began to snore, promptly sending the feline scurrying into the bedroom.

She went to her desk and penned a short note: Feel free to replicate yourself some clothes. If you need someone to go with you to the next session, I will make time. She left this with the rest of the hospitality rations, before quietly retiring to her room with a pad of notebook paper.

“Computer, lock bedroom door, please.”

be-boop.

12 Likes

Katriel followed Commander Isohlah, taking down periodic notes on a PADD, as the heavyset Bolian toured the cargo bay.

Zantaari refugees filled every corner and spaces in between. Some sat at various console stations, their attention glued to the screens as they scrutinized and consumed the pre-approved lists of content stored aboard. Others were curled up with Federation-issue PADDs onto which Zantaari entertainment – games, literature, video – had been loaded and were whiling the hours away in quiet preoccupation.

For the most part, the counselor reflected as she tailed her department head, things were fairly calm. There were a huge quantity of bodies stuffed into the space, but as if knowing how chaotic it would become if they became careless, the refugees kept their idle conversations quiet and small. The Betazoid did occasionally pick up strains of boredom and tension, offset by other individuals who emanated relief and security. Uniform, though, was the sensation of waiting. All the Zantaari were waiting. Katriel reflected uncomfortably upon the collective emotion that reminded her of a busy space terminal where all the outgoing flights had just been cancelled or postponed, leaving thousands of passengers stranded and in limbo, waiting for their time to go.

That is what the cargo bay feels like, she thought. Limbo.

Katriel halted suddenly in reaction to Commander Isohlah stopping in his tracks in front of her. They both looked down at a small Zantaari child, who had caught a corner of Isohlah’s uniform and tugged eagerly to get his attention.

“… Yes?” Isohlah asked. Katriel did not fail to notice how his deep voice had taken on a distinctly gentler cast. Say what you would of her commander’s personal views, if that was indeed what they were, but Commander Isohlah was not actually a compassionless man, nor a cruel one.

“Is it true?? My mommy says you’re a godman!” the Zantaari boy proudly remarked to the two counselors. His curious gaze encompassed Katriel as well. “Are you? Is it true?”

Katriel stiffened at the question, but Isohlah was quicker on the draw. “Yes,” he responded tersely. They had both been briefed on this requirement to keep up the pretense, something Katriel was deeply uncomfortable with, but it seemed as though Isohlah would lie more easily for both of them.

The Zantaari child gasped in amazement and quickly moved onto his next demanding inquiry. “Show me some magic! Anything you want! Please??”

Even Isohlah’s expression briefly flashed with some uncertainty here, but suddenly the boy relinquished the Commander’s uniform as he was jerked backwards. Katriel looked up slightly to see that an adult Zantaari had grasped and hugged the child close to him, a faint expression of alarm painted over his features.

“Ossig! Do not disturb the Godmen!” the Zantaari father scolded his son and pivoted, opening his arms and forcing the boy to walk away. ‘Ossig’ protested even as he obeyed. The child’s head swiveled backwards to watch as he returned to his family’s temporary lot. The father turned toward the two counselors, his expression full of apology, and he intermittently bowed his head and clasped his palms in front of him in supplication. “My most solemn apologies, Godmen, please forgive my son his impudence! It will not happen again!”

“Stay your panic,” Isohlah’s voice had returned to his normal rumbling depth. “We are not offended,” he concluded as he started to move away. Katriel offered the anxious father a brief but hopefully reassuring smile, before stepping after the Bolian.

They didn’t stop until they reached the makeshift medical station, where Isohlah requested the attention of one of the physicians. Katriel cast a glance around the cots and the patients laying in them. Those Zantaari that were situated in the sickbay stations were mostly complaining of headaches and soreness, broken or fractured limbs at worst, issues that were easily addressed at this juncture. The more serious cases were moved to station sickbay actual, of which there were fairly few.

As Isohlah consulted with the physician on duty, Katriel’s glance was caught by a couple of Zantaari standing roughly fifteen meters away. One of them was watching the medical center with a dark look. Katriel focused her senses on the pair and tried to make out what they were saying.

“They cannot be Godmen,” the angrier one declared.

"Why do you doubt, Zoorg? " the other asked, skeptical. “Have you not seen the power they command? Those who go in for healing come out almost fully restored, whereas it would have taken us months to repair those broken bones.”

“But look at them,” ‘Zoorg’ gave his response as a hissed retort. “See how they are all different? Their skin color, their faces, their body builds. They are not one single race, but many. If they were truly Godmen, they would all look the same, as we Zantaari do!”

Zoorg’s companion considered this. “If they are not Godmen, then who are they?”

“I believe they can only be the servants of the true Godmen,” Zoorg replied with dire portent. “The Godmen have taken all these lesser beings as their vassals, and we shall be the next to be inducted into their service!” Zoorg’s tone had turned hostile once again, as he began to stalk away. “We have escaped one form of slavery, in exchange for another! It is only less brutal on the surface!”

His friend followed, a mix of perturbed and placating. “Now, Zoorg, you are speculating aimlessly…”

Katriel turned away, disturbed and achingly dejected.

16 Likes

#21

::this letter seems to be written on a restaurant’s paper placemat::

It’s my brother’s birthday, today. We’re celebrating, but quietly; booked a reservation at this jazz cabaret on station, on recommendation from Emery, though I’m sure he didn’t know it was a birthday dinner recommendation at the time. Brian jumped on it, though, so here we are, listening to this live music that can make you sadder than a cargo bay full of alien refugees.

Well. Only a little bit sadder.

Slightly unrelated, I don’t think I could ever do Isohlah’s job. Both of us have been working here on station for the same length of time and certainly I’m one of the senior-most counseling authorities, but Isohlah seems to do everything I do and then some. He’s always looking out for the counselors on staff, first and foremost, ensuring that we have what we need to do our jobs properly and that we’re never put into situations where we’ll be set up to fail.

That translates into saying “no” a lot of the time, which seems to make a lot of officers unhappy with him. He doesn’t seem to care overmuch, most of the time, though I feel it must be grating.

Anyway. I gave Brian a holodeck program as a gift, some sort of holodeck adventure that takes place on a submarine with the players as submarine crew members. I worry that it might be a bit too true to reality, with all the parallels to starship life, but he seems terribly excited and of course we’re going to try it out promptly. Neema’s coming, too; I’m relieved things aren’t so awkward that she felt the need to decline.

It feels a bit funny for me to be participating in a program like this, considering what happened on Kelterre, but I do like the ocean and marine life in general, so we’ll see how it goes.

Miss you, Matt. Happy Valentine’s Day.

13 Likes

“Allez.”

He wasted no time, lunging forward promptly with a deftness that she had forgotten he possessed. Her sabre came up to successfully parry the downward slash and her opponent’s blade bounced against hers with a satisfying clack. But then he used the backwards momentum to arc it around in a sideways slash at her waist instead. She barely brought her blade down to guard against the second cut, so when the weapon came around yet again in a third swing, she didn’t have enough time to prevent it from cutting into her wrist.

BZZT went the holodeck and Katriel saw a green light flash briefly off to the side and in front of her view, indicating a point to her opponent. The two fencers halted their actions and moved back to their starting positions silently. They raised their weapons in ready stances and watched each other, waiting.

“Allez.”

She tensed in expectation of another speedy start, but he merely shifted his weight forward and back in relaxed readiness. It was an invitation or possibly a trap, she was sure. She tried to keep her thoughts quiet as she mentally debated the effectiveness of an offensive strategy. Tentatively she skipped a few steps forward, flicking her sabre at his in a test. He deflected the blow just as gently and that’s when she picked up speed and drove forward, following her first swing by a rapid series of others.

His footwork carried him swiftly backward in escape, consistently blocking each of her blows, until he had retreated just outside of range of her attempted lunge. Overextended, she pulled back and he pushed his advantage, moving swiftly forward with sabre extended, forcing her to stutter backwards. But his legs were just a bit longer and he could cover ground faster with his forward motion as opposed to her retreat, so he closed the distance far faster than anticipated and he scored a hit against her hip.

The buzzer sounded and the same green light went off again. They halted their actions and paced back to the starting positions.

Fencing with her brother was nothing like practicing against AIs. Sophisticated programming techniques and a wide vocabulary of motions had certainly made holographic opponents comparable and competitive. But their algorithms lent them a certain sterility in variability and a certain routine rhythm in their execution, a combination of the computer’s speed of calculation and application of only the counters that would be deemed most effective against the current opponent. So while they were excellent for keeping in practice, they weren’t much for helping her improve.

“Allez.”

This time they both sprung forward. Their sabres crossed in the center and met again and again in a series of parries. One, two, three. He fell back a little, but came back quickly, rotating his wrist in rapid circular motions to swing at her once, twice, three times more. By the third cut, his momentum had increased his swing speed faster than she could parse it, and he cleanly slashed a diagonal upwards across her stomach.

Another buzz. Another green light. Katriel bit down on a frustrated sound as both fencers tugged their masks off. Her brother’s expression was more serious than usual, a reflection of the focused state of his mind as both betazoids worked hard to avoid letting the other know their planning.

Or perhaps he was just disappointed that she wasn’t putting up more of a challenge.

“Feeling all right?” Brian asked as he surveyed her. Katriel resented how little he appeared to be affected by their activities. His hair was slightly mussed from being contained in a helmet, but compared to her, he didn’t even seem to be breathing very hard from his exertions.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Katriel’s tone was a bit clipped in her response. “You can hardly be surprised by these results. You’ve always been better than me.”

Brian frowned faintly as he watched her. “Well, I’ve been at it longer,” was his temporizing response. “But we’ve had good bouts in the past. And you’ve been keeping at it, same as me. I figured we couldn’t be that different in skill. I mean,” he hastily added, “you know we’re not.”

“I’ve plateaued,” Katriel admitted frankly, staring down at the glossy mesh of her facemask. “The AIs at my level don’t provide me with enough variety, but the AIs on the next step up are so much better than me that I don’t feel like I even have a foothold. I don’t know how else to improve.”

“Well, good thing I’m here, isn’t it?” Brian determinedly hunted down the silver lining. “If you’re willing to re-sort your schedule a bit, we can practice in the evenings while the Sirocco’s here.”

Still feeling disgruntled from her losses, she could only offer a begrudging, “I guess.”

His optimism faded entirely. “You sure you’re okay?” His voice was half concerned, half demanding. “Are… are you holding up all right?”

Now her irritation prickled. “Yes. I’m not made out of glass, you know.”

“I know, it’s just --” he interrupted himself with a sharply inhaled breath. “I know,” he repeated and just left it there.

In a rare exchange, the two siblings stood in silence for a few awkward moments. Eventually she shook her head rapidly, as if freeing herself from a reverie, and began to bring her helmet back up.

“I’ll be better after I score, of course.” The white mask came down over her head.

He started at the sudden shift, before adopting a genuine grin. “Not on my watch,” he avowed as he replaced his mask as well. The two of them began to trek back to their starting places.

“We’ll see.”

“I doubt it,” Brian rambled heedlessly on, relentless in his continued teasing. “I mean, you’re just … so predictable. Have you added any new maneuvers since the Academy? I feel like I might be dueling a robot. Or maybe you’re just totally transparent to me cause you’ve lost some of your shield strength?”

Katriel’s eyes narrowed inside her facemask as they raised their sabres. The holodeck automatically detected their readiness and gave the signal to start.

“Allez.”

They both stood frozen in readiness for a moment or two longer before both sprang forward, in an echo of the bout just before. But this time, she rushed her slanted sabre below her brother’s and pushed upwards, while continuing to step rapidly towards him. He was surprised when his blade was forced into an upwards tilt as she slid forward. Before he could change course, her free hand had darted forward to grip his right wrist, holding it still as she swung her blade around to strike him soundly in the side.

This time, Katriel couldn’t see the green light that accompanied the buzz, because it appeared behind her, finally signaling her point.

Brian held his stance, rooted by shock. “That’s cheating,” he told her, trying to sound disapproving. It was ruined by his inability to prevent the bubble of laughter that accompanied the accusation.

She released his wrist and started stepping back towards her starting point. Her tone was edged with smugness. “I know. Just trying to be more creative.”

11 Likes

#26

In honor of the Saint Patrick’s Day, I’ve replicated your favorite drink and am finishing it here, in the quiet of my quarters. The lounge was rowdy tonight, with a lot of heavily indulging patrons and Azuzu blasting a lot of loud music. I didn’t get much work done.

One of the few Earth holidays that you’ve never asked me to celebrate with you, though it’s easy to see why and I’m sure it’s not just because of my enjoyment. But it seemed appropriate and the taste of chocolate is sort of heartening.

At least, it takes me back a bit.

12 Likes

#28

::this letter seems to have a lot more little crinkles and creases than usual, as if it was once crumpled up::

It’s been a really hard week.

I ended up covering a couple additional duty shifts due to another counselor’s last minute personal emergencies, so my hours have been longer. This on top of an inexplicable number of various counseling situations aboard the station, as well as numerous requests for my particular attention for one-off sessions. I’m flattered that I’ve come so highly recommended to some, of course, and I genuinely want to help where I can, but I can’t deny that it’s emotionally exhausting, trying to keep up with the demands of so many in such a short amount of time.

And not all of the appointments ended as well as they could have, let’s say. Towards the end of one of the other walk-ins, too, I think I nearly took offense at a phantom accusation, having been primed to it earlier in the day. That’s sort of the point where I felt like I really needed a break. I did my best to calm myself and finish out and there weren’t any additional mishaps, but still. I felt myself slipping.

I may need to ask Isohlah for an extra couple days to myself next week. Though even given them, I don’t know what I’d do with them.

I’m a little apprehensive over the next time I’ll see Neema. She already asked me for my account once and now I’m afraid now she’s going to be forced to check with me again, over a second encounter that I feel I may have mishandled severely now. I hate to disappoint her or make trouble for her and now I have unfortunately put her in a horrible position in regards to one of her other good friends. I don’t think she’ll be too angry with me, but I’m uneasy regardless.

::the letter continues on the back::

I suppose that is part of the nature of treasured relationships. No matter how confident a person is in the security of what is shared, there’s always a lingering concern that something could happen to ruin it all. It may not be rational, but there it is: whispering swift uncertainties in your ear, tarnishing your recall, sapping your faith.

Like you and I. There are so few constants in life in general and I have considered myself fortunate to have had you as one of mine, even if you can’t be ‘here’ for me all the time. Most days, just the understanding that you would love nothing more than to hear my troubles and cheer me up would be enough. That if I asked you to, you would come without question, as quickly as you could, and then stop at nothing to make me smile. Just knowing that you want me to be happy is often all I need to chase most of my upset away, no matter what the cause.

But tonight … it’s just not.

17 Likes

#29

Hi.

So the station Ops Chief had informed me a while back that his chamber ensemble was looking for a pianist and I suppose I feel that I have a bit more free time on my hands than I know what to do with (which, I assure you, is at least partially your fault), so I decided I wanted to try auditioning and try playing in a group for the first time.

It took me some time to learn something appropriate for auditioning, since most of the music I already knew seemed a bit too contemporary. Neema wanted to watch my audition for some reason and she seemed enthusiastic afterwards about how I did, though I was less sure. Commander Caspius, who is – for your reference – Vulcan, was naturally significantly more aloof and taciturn as he listened in complete silence. He wasn’t inattentive, though, as he seemed to be writing an awful lot of notes on a PADD and at the end, he thanked and dismissed me without any indication of what he thought.

But I suppose there were not many other competitors, because I received a text communique today that says I have the spot. Now I have to go put in a formal request to have my work hours rearranged a bit to accommodate the rehearsal schedule, but otherwise I’m looking forward to the new experience.

You’ll come to at least one concert sometime, right?

11 Likes

#32

Just came back from visiting with Emery’s special trio of four-legged guests on station. Apparently the school hoped he might be able to bring in specimens for the students to interact with and learn about, since they don’t see much in terms of real live large animals, so Emery managed to get three of them imported here from Sol. I’ve forgotten the breed names, but there was a giant-sized brown one with an almost shaggy coat, and two smaller-sized ones in solid white and solid black colors. Titan, Wings, and Aphrodite.

I admit I was a bit anxious about meeting them, thanks to the things I have heard regarding their wilder emotional states. Brian acknowledged that they were pretty powerful and he didn’t want to get too close, but I had an easier time, so Emery showed me how to pet Titan safely enough and gave me some trail mix to feed him with. I suppose that much is the same for all domestic animals: the way to their hearts is always through their stomachs. Emery offered to let me try riding and I admit I’m curious, but I don’t know if I’m brave enough or if I’ll have time, since they’ll only be around for a little over a week.

But it was a fun and interesting diversion, anyway.

These days I feel a bit like I am two different people. One aspect is carrying on with life as usual: the work, sleep, eat, and now ensemble rehearsal routine. Dealing with people and appointments, reading case files and writing reports. Setting up equipment for Film Club or planning for the fitness initiative.

::the letter continues on the back::

And then the other aspect only seems to engage in those solitary moments between busy work, the mental ‘white space’ times. I mean, it’s supposed to, but instead of spending that time daydreaming, I feel like I’m just sleeping through it all. Not literally sleeping, but mentally. I’m not really sure what to make of it.

Miss you, Matt. Every day.

11 Likes

#33

Some awful things have happened.

Neema and I were in the recreation center, swimming laps in the pool, when the station went to red alert. Which… well. That was a new experience, let me say. When one is socializing with an Admiral during red alert, apparently security’s first priority is to evacuate the Admiral and her company immediately to some location that is more easily secured. In this case, it was one of the meeting rooms on the same deck. So a team swept in and escorted us swiftly to said secure location… while we were still in our swimsuits.

It would have been awkward, if they weren’t so professional about it. At least it only took them about ten to fifteen slightly chilly minutes afterwards to retrieve the contents of our lockers and bring it to us, so we could change. By the time red alert was over, we had turned the conference room into a work nest and ended up using it through the night and for over half the next day.

But, of course, none of this is the actually awful part and, to be honest, I don’t really want to go into the specifics. Suffice to say that the general aura of fleet personnel, though especially the station staff, has been largely bleak and stifling. And it sort of tastes like… iron.

::the letter continues on the back::

Even Emery’s four-legged friends did not go unscathed. Evidently the red alert alarms disturbed them to the point of self-harm and they’ll need a week or longer to recover.

The rate of counseling appointments being made has increased conspicuously since the incident, which surprises no one. Isohlah has permitted me to take on a project designed to assist with the post-disaster counseling process station-wide which Acting Commanding Officer Thiessen has approved, so between that and seeing a lot of walk-ins, I see myself being fairly busy for the next week or two.

Life continues, if very grudgingly, it seems. Hoping you are safe out there and that your week has been less eventful than mine.

13 Likes

#37

So do you remember that time you told me about how Chaze offered you a purple drink and you didn’t know what it was and you drank it anyway and it was delicious until you found out what it was?

Yeah, I have one of those stories, now, too. Unfortunately.

Other than that, the New Circini festival was a nice diversion. Brian took some time away from the Sirocco to come and we managed to catch a theater troupe play on the second day, did a lot of window shopping and came away with a few gifts for others.

One for you, too. Can’t wait to see what you think of it.

11 Likes

#39

I’m feeling spent.

The past week and a half has been a mad rush of work and preparation for shore leave. Some of it is my fault, admittedly; Neema and I learned we were on different leave rotations and she couldn’t trade because hers is offset from Admiral Ashkeph. That meant I had to find someone who would be willing to wait a bit longer to go and I did end up finding someone, but naturally they wanted to trade a few on-call shifts to make up for taking the delayed cycle.

And then it turns out that when I switched to the first shore leave cycle, they were still looking for volunteer activity coordinators, so one of the committee members realized I was now available and immediately flagged me down for that. So then I suddenly had those responsibilities, too. Not that I mind exactly, just that it was another pile of things to pay attention to.

Then yesterday, I was tapped for an away mission out with a few other base personnel on the Vanguard, as psych consult for the irreo children that were recovered in Kelterre. A striking assignment, one that I won’t soon forget I think, so I was pleased to be a part of it. But it was also

::the letter continues on the back::

emotionally draining and I’ve been in planning and discussion all day with the children’s new handler, so I’ve barely seen to any of my own duties as a result. Most of it is ordinarily stuff that could wait, but because I am now leaving for Risa in two days, it would be better to get all the other tasks to a more comfortable stopping point, so I suppose it’s going to be another late night for me.

I’m grateful for the upcoming break, but I admit I am afraid I won’t enjoy it as much as I normally would. My brother won’t be in attendance either, he’s on a completely different leave cycle and can’t take the days away from the terraforming project, so no chance of relief from there.

I know it’s still a little early, but I’m really hoping to hear from you soon.

11 Likes

#??

::this letter has been written on the back of some extremely fine decorative paper::

We said goodbye on this shore once, about a year ago.
And I thought that was hard.

But you’ve sailed away and today I stand here alone,
wishing that you were here to say goodbye to at all.

When will I get to say ‘hi’ to you again?

12 Likes

#41

::this letter has been written on the back of some extremely fine decorative paper::

Last night on Risa and I have the suite to myself. Just as well, I don’t feel much like company or talk. Neema has been extremely generous this break, in both physical space and attention, for which I oscillate between gratitude and exasperation. Mostly just the former, but I admit that I genuinely cannot stand the thought that she might even hesitate over social invitations because of me.

We kept busy with activities and wandering. I’m getting better at diving, not so much at powerboarding. I swam at least a little every day and just as often at night. Didn’t do that much on land, except read; I might be more fish than Betazoid at this point.

It’s been a grand distraction, but also an exercise in nostalgia. There isn’t much here that doesn’t remind me of you in some fashion and though the scenery coaxes me easily into relaxation, there is a hint of emptiness to it all, too. Even that stray caracal that I used to see at this resort, in the previous couple of summers? I haven’t seen him wandering around at all this year. He’s a feline so I’m not exactly concerned for his safety, but still. It would’ve been nice to keep each other company like in the past.

Given all that, I am not all that sorry to be putting this year’s shore leave behind me. Although I am not exactly eager to return to work, I know the productivity will be good for me. Returning to department meetings, patients and evaluations, checking in with the irreo children’s progress, et cetera. And maybe volunteering for the away mission to assist the Sirocco with their current terraformation tasks.

Miss you, Matt.

 
P. S.
Note to self: purchase new copy of Incan Gold.

10 Likes

Embers of times we had,
And now here I stand lost in a memory,
I see your face and smile…
- The Seatbelts

She was swimming in the dark, upwards and upwards. Her hands reached out in front of her, palms pressed together like in a dive, then she spread them outwards to push herself forward. It wasn’t completely dark, she realized, as she forged ahead. The water was dotted with blue, bioluminescent flickers and above her, sitting on the water’s surface, appeared dozens of candlelight flames, drifting quietly in one direction together, as if on a slow river’s current.

She kept swimming up…

The first thing she heard when she came to cognizance were the softly playing strains of a guitar. The tune was spare, a chord only sounding every few notes, the melody sad, but sweet and familiar. Though the first time she heard it, it had been a woman singing the lyrics instead. She listened for a measure or two more, her eyes sluggishly forcing open, and squinted at the bulkhead ceiling of sickbay. So many times having passed through one, but the first time in a while seeing it from this particular angle.

“S’pretty,” she managed to murmur.

The guitar player paused, the chord he had just plucked sustaining out for much longer than it should have been, according to the music. But after a moment, it picked up again. “You’re awake.”

She tried to swallow, her throat was dry. “You don’t sound too surprised.”

The playing stopped again. She couldn’t quite make herself tilt her head to watch, but she could hear him get up off his bed and shuffle around. “I heard you dreaming,” he responded. His voice was coming closer. “I knew you’d be waking up sooner rather than later.”

A glass of water suddenly appeared in her field of vision. She stared at it for an extended moment, mentally fortifying herself for a first effort at sitting up. When she tried, he helped prop her up and silently adjusted her pillows so she could lean against them. She carefully grasped the glass with her fingers and took a deep drink.

“Stay out of my head,” she said, half-heartedly. Her gaze turned about to take in the small, private medical ward. There was no one else around. “How long?”

“Almost a week. You were under a sedative for three.”

“Chart?” She’d almost drained the entire glass already.

He raised an eyebrow at her, but turned towards the foot of the biobed and lifted out a medical PADD. He looked it over for a second before passing it to her, taking the empty glass off her hands. He went to get a refill while she read her own case in silence. Eventually she let the PADD loose in her lap and looked over at him.

“What about the Sirocco?”

He took his time answering that, bringing back the newly filled glass to her. She looked a bit sorrowful as she took it. “Nothing but a shell left. It got pulled into Waydis II’s gravity well, so the wreck’s on the planet somewhere.”

Her voice was sympathetic. “Want to talk about it?”

He shot her a sour look. “Maybe when you’re not laid up in a biobed after being unconscious for five days.”

Her shoulders hunched a little as she brought the glass up for a guilty sip, but she didn’t press the issue. She studied the glass of water in the humming silence before transferring it to her left hand, bringing her right up to clasp her opposite shoulder in remembrance. It didn’t hurt anymore, but still felt stiff. Then again, everything felt stiff.

“… still haven’t forgiven you for dislocating my shoulder.”

He snorted. “Good thing I don’t care about your forgiveness,” he quipped back, grabbing her medical chart and slotting it back into her biobed before moving back towards his own biobed, seating himself on it, legs dangling over the edge. He put his guitar back on his lap. “Just your health!”

Her eyes widened a little, focusing on the instrument. “Waaait. That’s not your guitar. I mean that is your guitar, but it’s not your guitar yet.”

“… Oops,” he winced. Sorry, Neema.

“She gave it to you early??” She sounded injured.

“I was bored and mine was busted. You know… like, with the ship?”

That mollified her. “Oh. I suppose that’s fair. Couldn’t let you lose your callouses.”

He smirked faintly and strummed a chord. “It sounds great, if it’s any consolation. Really well balanced. Couldn’t have picked better myself.”

She sounded vaguely amused at the compliment. “You know I just picked it because of the phoenix, right?”

“Oh, I know.”

He plucked the opening notes of the song he had been playing when she woke and her eyes widened in remembrance of something else.

“Wait, did you say a week? Is … is it past Friday?”

“It’s 0200 on Saturday,” he patiently explained. “Yes, you missed the Chamber Ensemble concert. Commander Caspius ended up cancelling.”

She made a slight choking sound and leaned forward to faceplant into her own lap. “Oh no, he’s going to kill me! Or at least throw me out of the group. And I practiced so hard during shore leave!”

He laughed quietly to himself. “I’m sure he’ll get over it, if only because there aren’t any other pianists on the entire station that’re willing to put up with his stringent style.”

She mumbled something unintelligible into the blankets and then straightened back up, covering an abrupt yawn.

“You should get some more rest,” he observed as she settled back against the pillows. “We can talk more in the morning. Maybe see if you’re ready to eat something, then, too.”

She didn’t fight it, turning slightly to watch him for a moment while he played, her eyes drifting shut slowly. “Okay,” was her sleepy response. “Good night, Brian.”

“Good night, Owl.”

14 Likes

#42

Discharged from sickbay this morning, after a few final scans. Remanded to light duty (half days) for a week, starting tomorrow, which I have already disobeyed because LCDR Cedano really wanted to meet and I really wanted to meet, so we had a lunch conference and I retired to my quarters before anyone else from counseling could catch and scold me. (I mean, technically I was told my light duty started tomorrow, not today…)

Brian was discharged a full four days before me and has been put up in guest quarters, like the other Sirocco survivors. He’s doing… okay. Without the Waydi II project to occupy him, he’s a bit restless, but he didn’t lose any department colleagues in the disaster, so he is better off compared to some. We seem to be dually distracting one another now, making the time pass, and he was frequently in sickbay even after he was cleared to go. He’s started assessing his options in terms of what happens next, career-wise.

Things feel a bit surreal at the moment, but I suppose that’s what multiple successive days in a biobed will do to a person. I feel just about back to normal physically, with the exception of an occasional pulsing headache and all that entails. I’ve been prescribed a mild analgesic to take as necessary, but hopefully that will go away soon.

::the letter continues on the back::

It hasn’t escaped my notice that this is the second time I’ve incurred injury while on a mission involving the Waydi. Brian’s life hung in the balance this time, too. Perhaps we Sedais are just a bit cursed when it comes to them?

… I’ve really built quite an impressive navy here, haven’t I?

10 Likes

One… two… three… breathe…
One… two… three… breathe…

This past summer’s shore leave had rejuvenated her affinity for swimming. Katriel didn’t imagine she was particularly competent or skilled at it, but even the faintly-chlorinated starbase pool water could feel wholeheartedly invigorating, so she had started to make time for it every week. Sometimes she dragged Neema along, sometimes Brian instead. Likely someday she would drag Matt too, though she probably wouldn’t have to try too hard for him. When all else failed, she’d go swim laps by herself. The pastime had gone on the very short list of things she could enjoy to clear her otherwise too busy head.
 

Aaagggh, I have that song stuck in my head again.

 
This week, Brian had accompanied her down to the recreation deck. He’d done a few laps and low dives and cannonballs, but now he was soaking in the hot tub while Katriel continued in the pool alone. Telepathy allowed them to continue their bantering conversation, rather than stretch their voices.
 
It’s pretty, Katriel acknowledged. I know I shouldn’t be glad that Hill did not follow through on an audition, but it really was a pleasure to perform it. The Shenandoah arrangement, too. I would like it if Commander Caspius would opt for more contemporary pieces more often in future programs.
 

Yeah, I’m really glad I caught that concert, actually. I only felt like falling asleep twice through the whole thing.

 
I’ll just pretend you didn’t think that. Are you going to learn Walking for the guitar?
 

I might, but honestly, piano’s the perfect sound for it. A guitar would just be kinda bleh in comparison.

 
… If you say so.
 
Katriel reached the deep end of the pool and gripped the ledge, before bracing her feet against the wall and turning herself around, pushing off for the return trip.

One… two… three… breathe…
 

Things in counseling settling down?

 
One… two… three… breathe…
 
Yes, I only had to see a couple people today. More dazed and confused souls over Ashkeph.
 

I was thinking about that. This is like, the second CO you’ve had go AWOL in the whole time you’ve been posted to this unit. You don’t find that a bit worrisome?

 
She did, actually, a little. Her gaze dropped downward to the pool’s floor and she watched the rippling light pattern for a couple seconds while she swam onward. A bit. But I chalk it up to our position out here, and the stress of the circumstances, I suppose. At least Ashkeph didn’t put the entire station at risk when she deserted.
 

I’m glad you have your hierarchy of least to most disturbing desertions figured out.

 
I admit, it does make me miss Rilem. He was nice and non-desert…y.
 
One… two… three… breathe…
 

Speaking of desertions… it might be my turn next.

 
One… two… breathe!
 
What?
 
Katriel treaded water in place for a moment, looking out towards the hot tub, though not really able to make him out in the steam.
 

Not Starfleet, obviously, Brian amended with some amount of mental sarcasm. But the station. The Ponderosa accepted my application for Geosciences Lead. I have to give them my answer at the end of this week.

 
Katriel pursed her lips as she restarted her lap.
 
But what about transferring to the station?
 

I know. It seemed like a fun idea for a while and I appreciate Neema making the offer. And maybe it’s something I’ll consider in the future, but right now, I just want to keep doing the work I’m doing. At least for a couple years more. You know?

 
… Yeah, I know. You really love it. I wouldn’t want you to give that up for anything, especially me.
 

Besides, you don’t want me hovering around, ruining your fun with my big brother act anyway.

 
It hasn’t been all bad.
 

Don’t worry. I’ll come back to visit sometimes, maybe. Now that I know how awesome this station is and how many food options you have.

 
One… two… three… breathe…
One… two… three… breathe…

 

Except this Solstice. We have to go back to San Francisco this Solstice, all right? Save your damn leave days.

 
Katriel mentally grumbled.
 
Fiiine.

11 Likes